


The Hottie Next Door

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Angst, Child Abuse, Drama, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Michael Novotny Bashing, Minor Character Death, Romance, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-04-11
Updated: 2008-10-08
Packaged: 2018-12-26 22:45:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 74,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12068496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian's a high school senior and he as usual, likes his tricking. However, what will happen when a hot blond moves next door to Mikey? Will Brian find himself falling for the kid? Will he able to handle everything a relationship entails?





	1. The kid moves in

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

  
Author's notes: Hey I don't know about this one, I'll need all the help I can get. Reviews are very badly wanted!   


* * *

Brian was in his room smoking a few joints and watching a good old porno he had snatched from somewhere when he got the call. 

"Hello?" 

Mikey. Of course. Why was he not surprised? 

"Hey Brian. Listen, do you want to come over? I'm really bored and there's nothing to do," he said in that nasal whine he had sometimes. 

"There's always something to do," Brian said, tongue-in-cheek and smirking at his double-entendre. 

"Very funny, Brian. So do you want to come over or not?" 

"Oh, why the fuck not."

"Great. I'll be waiting." 

Brian hung up. What else was there to do on a Saturday morning? He turned off the porno, stuffed the tape under his pillow so Jack wouldn't find it, and jumped in the shower. Sighing, he let his head fall back and let the hot water cascade over him. The game yesterday had gotten him a little roughed up. But Brian had scored a couple of good goals and he'd fucked one of the visiting players in his car. Double score. Brian moaned and reached for his dick as he thought of the tight ass around his cock, the moans, his hands on the guy's hips as he rammed into him… 

"Sonnyboy! Get your ass out of the shower now!" 

Damn it. Fucking Jack.

Making a mental note to finish this later, Brian got out of the shower and threw on a pair of jeans and a simple tight black T-shirt. He stole a quick look into the mirror, rumpled his hair a little, and went downstairs into the kitchen. Luckily there was no one there. Brian grabbed a few bags of Pop-Tarts and turned to leave. 

Jack was sitting in front of the television, his standard six-pack perched on the T.V. tray nearby. He barely turned when Brian pulled open the front door. 

"Where are you going?" 

"To Michael's," Brian said with gritted teeth. He hated this. 

"Make sure you're back before ten or there'll be hell to pay," Jack said, his eyes now firmly glued to the football game he was watching.  

Brian said nothing, just went out the door and into the jeep. He peeled out of the driveway, his knuckles white as they clenched the steering wheel tightly. He was sick of Jack and all his bullshit and how he never bothered to even look at him unless it was to yell or beat the shit out of him. He knew he should have gotten used to it long ago, but that didn't make him stop hating it. And his mother…Brian snorted at the thought of her. Fucking bitch wasn't much better than the old man. 

Fifteen minutes later Brian had made his way to Mikey's. Getting out of the car, he couldn't help but notice the U-Haul truck by the house next door. The house had been empty for many months. He and Michael had stared at it from the window, wondering which snobs would be the ones to buy it. The house was huge, probably the biggest one in the neighborhood, or at least on the street. It was a grand Victorian, with two floors and even an awesome-looking pool out back. The old guy who had lived there had kicked the bucket not too long ago and the house had been put for sale. Michael's mom Debbie had gone over there once with a casserole to help the grieving family, but they were assholes too. Brian and Michael knew this for a fact, as they saw the entire casserole thrown out into the trash can later that day. 

Brian watched for a few seconds. The movers were carrying out all sorts of valuable looking furniture. And look, there must be kids. One of the movers had dropped a box, which must not have been very well fastened, as dozens of floppy stuffed animals fell to the ground. The guy immediately dropped to the ground and began trying to shove them back in without being noticed. Unfortunately…

"Don't you dare drop anything else," a guy who could only be the father growled as he surveyed the progress from a lawn chair he had propped up on the porch. 

Yep, definitely assholes. 

Having a one-track mind and being the horny eighteen-year-old that he was, Brian began inspecting the movers. Mostly old guys with beer bellies…the scrawny guy who had dropped the box…hmm, that tallish guy looked passable, but he looked a tad unclean…

Ah ha. 

Brian's gaze locked in on a blond boy, carrying a few boxes and glaring over at the man sitting in the lawn chair. He was pretty hot from what Brian could tell, a lithe slender body, quite young, probably nice and supple. 

"Justin, you don't need to be doing that," the man in the lawn chair drawled. "That's what I'm paying them for." 

The boy huffed, set the boxes down, and headed inside. He turned his head just a little and caught Brian's gaze. For a second, Brian thought about turning away, but he decided on just staring back at the kid. 

He wasn't too far away, so Brian could see that his eyes were a beautiful blue and his skin was fair and perfect. The boy kept walking, but he kept his eyes on Brian and suddenly tripped over a rock, getting saved from hitting the ground hard when one of the beer belly guys gripped his elbow and set him upright. 

Brian smirked at the red tinge in the kid's cheeks and watched as the kid made his way up the steps and onto the porch. Brian angled his neck to catch sight of the ass on the boy as he walked up. He groaned and felt his cock twitch in his pants as he took in the tight jeans hugging the bubble butt just right. 

The boy, not looking back, entered the house and shut the door behind him. Brian continued to stare until Michael, who had finally noticed Brian's car outside, came out to call him in.  

"Brian? What the hell? I've been waiting," he whined. 

Brian didn't even seem to notice his friend materialize at his side. "Oh," he said slowly. "Oh yeah." All the while he thought, "Man, I'm going to get me some of that."


	2. Turning on the Kinney Charm

  
Author's notes: As always, reviews are very much appreciated. This one's a bit longer this time!   


* * *

Brian put out his cigarette on Michael's desk, leaving a slight black mark on the wood. Ignoring Michael's scowl, he sighed. He really didn't know what the point of coming over here was. He'd been bored at home and now he was bored over here. The only difference was that here he didn't have to put up with Jack's constant yelling. And of course, here he had to listen to a stream of babble regarding some superhero or other.  

"...So like I was saying, when Captain Astro defeated..."  Brian groaned inwardly. He'd much rather be next door fucking the brains out of that kid. Brian was sure his gaydar was working quite well. In fact, he was so confident in his gaydar, he'd fuck Mikey if this kid was a breeder. He'd looked quite innocent and young, however. Maybe Brian would have the pleasure of teaching him a thing or two. Brian grinned devilishly to himself. He could think of countless things they could do together, each one more pleasurable than the last. That kid wouldn't know what hit him. He'd probably fuck him face-to-face. Or if he was up to it he'd get him in the shower and take him from behind. Or maybe...  

"Brian, would you get your mind out of the gutter and listen to me?!" Michael exclaimed in exasperation.  

Brian turned to Michael with his own expression of irritation. "Mikey, what do you expect when we talk about the same thing every fucking day?" 

 Michael scowled. "Then what do YOU want to do?"  

The evil, sensual smile spread over Brian's face again. "Oh, I can think of a certain someone."  Michael scowled more deeply. He'd been by the living room window and had seen Brian standing there with a faraway look in his eyes when he got out of his car. Michael had looked over in the direction Brian was staring towards, but he had only managed to catch a flash of blond hair and then the door had shut. He didn't know what had shaken up Brian like that, but he was definitely sure of one thing...he didn't like it.                                                        

  *                  *                     *  

Brian was sitting in AP Bio, tuning out the steady drone about cells and molecules and what not from that pedantic of a teacher. If he had been hot Brian would have been making more of an effort in this class, but what was a horny gay boy to do when the subject matter was dull, the teacher was a fiftysomething old coot, and there was nothing to do in the class except daydream about fucking the new, hot, blond...  

Well isn't that something?  

The very same object of Brian's recent fantasies appeared at the door, holding a schedule and looking utterly lost. Brian watched as the kid approached the boring old drone and began to talk to him in a hushed voice. He felt bad for the poor kid. It must suck to have to come to a new high school your senior year, and two months into the first semester, too. Brian resolved to...well..."comfort" him later on.  

He smirked. Already a couple of girls were smiling widely at the kid, beckoning him with their cat-like eyes. Brian just didn't understand why no one had as good a gaydar as he did. This kid was as queer as they came. The guys for the most part didn't seem to pick up on that tiny little fact either. Judging from the looks on their faces, which could be described as careful judging, Brian could tell that they hadn't made up their minds about the kid.  

Speaking of the kid, he had taken a seat over by the window, one seat up and a few seats over from where Brian sat. Brian was relatively pleased with this seating arrangement, he could get a good look at the boy's angelic-looking profile, but he'd have been even more pleased had the kid been sitting next to him.  

After enduring another twenty minutes of agony, of which nineteen were spent staring at the boy and one minute was spent watching the clock strike 8:30, Brian and the rest of his class were freed from the dark lair that was AP Bio. An audible sigh of relief echoed throughout the classroom and the students began to scramble under their seats for their books. While this rummaging was going around, Brian walked over to the pretty blond boy, whose head was bent over the new stack of papers and those parent/guardian information sheets he'd just received, and tapped him on the shoulder.  Brian bit back a gasp of surprise. The boy was even more beautiful face-to-face. He'd already seen those big blue eyes, but they were even more amazing up close. They sparkled merrily despite the early hour and shone with an unexpected inner joy. His skin was fair and Brian was almost sure that it was as soft as it looked. And the lips...full and pouty and pink. Brian was surprised his mouth wasn't watering.  

"Yes?" the boy asked, breaking the silence and bringing Brian back to planet Earth.  

Brian put his signature smirk in place and cocked an eyebrow. "Well, aren't you something?"  

"What do you mean?" the kid asked in slight trepidation.  Brian gave him a slow smile. "What do you want it to mean?" he countered, maintaining his slightly disinterested yet somewhat appraising demeanor that he had perfected over the last few years.  

"Um...I'm Justin Taylor," the blond boy said. "And uh...your name is?"    

Brian grinned. "You'll find out soon enough," he said, giving Justin one of his most seductive looks, his hazel eyes dark and predatory.  

"Um, listen," Justin said. "I have a boyfriend back home and I'm really flattered. But we don't see other people. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to be late for my next class." He adjusted his messenger bag over his right shoulder and made to leave the now empty room.  Brian, unfazed, caught his arm. 

"What the little boyfriend doesn't know won't hurt him," he said, again raising an eyebrow and giving Justin a sexy smirk.  Justin looked shocked by this brazen statement. The expression of shock then softened into something else. Something a little closer to...lust.

 "It's just that easy, isn't it?" Justin said, his eyelids drooping and stepping closer to Brian. 

 "Yeah," Brian said, his arms ready to wrap around the slender waist, his lips already starting to feel hot from the almost-certain kiss. 

 "Well," Justin said, now in such close proximity that Brian could feel the warm breath on his face and could see the blond eyelashes flutter gently. Brian's lips parted just a little. "You're just going to have to go to someone else then, won't you?" And with that, he spun on his heel and walked right out of the classroom, leaving Brian alone. 

 "Well fuck me," Brian thought to himself in amazement. "Who would've expected something like that out of someone like that?" He also started heading out the door, still a little rattled by the previous events. It was the first time that someone had turned him down since he had accepted that he was gay back in sophomore year. Brian's feelings of surprise did not vanish throughout his second period calculus class. However, these thoughts were suddenly followed by ones of disbelief and determination. "If he thinks he can get away that easy," Brian thought, "he's got another think coming. That ass is mine."  


	3. Feels Like Home at Last

  
Author's notes: Hi, sorry it's been so long! Had a little trouble with this one, but I think it's all right now. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and please review again!   


* * *

Justin walked away from the cocky kid as quickly as he could, his heart thumping rapidly in his chest. He couldn't believe someone who wasn't Matt could do that to him. That guy was an asshole from what he could tell, but his personality hadn't been enough to deflate his dick, which had stood at rapt attention the minute the guy had approached him. Justin took deep, steady breaths and willed himself to calm down. He was heading to AP European History next and had no idea where the history wing was. 

Despite his attempts, Justin found his thoughts straying back to the guy in his Bio class. He was really hot, with those hazel eyes and sexy smirk. Justin had immediately recognized from the first day moving in, but had opted not to say anything about it. He'd decided to keep mum about the fact that since their brief encounter, he was always stealing glances next door in the hopes of catching a glimpse of the hot guy. The only person he'd seen out there since then was a loud, red-haired woman who fluttered around the garden from time to time, watering the plants. She'd given Justin a cheery smile and wave, but before he could return it his father had called him in to help organize the garage. Justin knew she had talked to him, as he'd watched him come back in the house shaking his head in disbelief. 

But everything always came back to the tall brunette he'd been secretly hoping to lock eyes with again. Justin blushed remembering how he had tripped in front of him. Justin had felt like crumpling into a tiny ball and dying on the spot, but he had left attempting to maintain the tiniest shred of dignity. 

Justin gave himself a mental shake. He was thinking such things because he hadn't seen Matt for about two weeks now and he was missing him a lot. Justin's eyes watered slightly and he swallowed hard as he thought about his boyfriend. He was always longing to hear Matt's voice, but that was getting harder to do as Justin's parents were closely monitoring any calls he made. After that fiasco at St. James, which had been part of the reason why his dad had decided to move, Justin rarely had a moment's peace. The one person he confided in, his Matt, was no longer a fifteen-minute drive away. 

The bell rang; signaling the start of second period and Justin had still not found his history classroom. Instead, he ducked into the closest bathroom and locked himself in a stall. He pulled out his cell and dialed the number he knew like his own. 

"Hello?" 

Again, Justin felt that agonizing lump in his throat. "Matt?" 

"Justin? Is everything okay?" 

Justin let out a shuddering breath. "Yeah. I just…you know…feeling a little homesick. Where are you now?" 

A slight hesitation. "…Just at the doctor's office," Matt said finally. "A sports physical, you know? Basketball season is coming up." 

Justin got a nagging little feeling, but decided not to call him up on it. "How's everything? Are your parents off your ass now?" 

That laugh Justin treasured so much made its way into his ear. "Yeah, they're mellowing out a little." 

Justin's body went rigid as he heard the door to the bathroom swing open. "Gotta go," he whispered and shut his phone without waiting for an answer. Holding his breath, he listened as the guy took a piss, flushed the urinal, washed his hands, and exited the bathroom. He let out a sigh of relief and waited a few moments before he too made his way to his next class. 

* * * 

"Don't just push that food around your plate, you little shit! Get your nose out of that comic book and eat that fucking lasagna!" Debbie Novotny shrieked, whacking her son across the head. 

"Ma…" Michael whined. 

"Don't 'Ma' me and eat your food! You know what I said about comic books at the table!" Michael glared after his mother left the kitchen to get the pitcher of lemonade. 

"You better do as she says," Vic said, pushing a forkful of lasagna into his mouth. "You can always read later." 

With a sigh, Michael carefully pushed his comic book aside. "Can I close the window then? The pages will ruffle." 

"No you can't!" Debbie said, setting down the lemonade. "It's warm for late October and that damn oven heats up the house. Eat!" 

Silence fell across the table as brother, sister, and sister's dorky son dug into their dinners. "Where's that asshole Brian Kinney?" Debbie demanded of Michael after a few minutes. "Wasn't he supposed to come for dinner?" 

Michael shrugged. "I don't know. I called his cell earlier, but there was no answer, and he's told me not to try his house." 

Debbie scoffed. "That little shit is probably strolling around Liberty Avenue trying to get into Babylon again. When he realizes it's no go, he'll probably pull some fellow twink into an alley and fuck him." 

"Ma!" Michael whined. "Please don't!" 

"Well, isn't it true? I've known that kid for…" 

Vic, who had been calmly eating, suddenly shushed them. "Do you hear that?" 

Debbie and Michael set down their forks and listened hard. 

_"…second time this week! I'm telling you Justin, I'm going to cut off your phone service!"_

_"I'm so tired of you looking through my things, my private things! You have no right…"_

_"Shut up!"_

_"Craig! The neighbors will hear!"_

All three crowded around the open window, staring. The neighbors' window was also open, and they could make out Craig Taylor yelling at his son. The poor boy was tense, his fists clenched, as his mother cowered nearby. 

_"…always defending him, Jen! I'm sick of it! Justin, you will fucking stop all this fag nonsense. I didn’t pack everything up and pull you and Molly out of school in the middle of the year for this bullshit to keep going on…have to drive almost an hour to get to the store, and I'm not having all those rumors flying around again! The next time I catch you calling that shit…"_

_"His name is Matt and he cares more about me than you ever will!" Justin shouted back. "You can move all you want, but nothing you do will make me stop loving him or stop talking to him!"_

A sharp crack of skin on skin was heard. Debbie gasped and clapped a hand to her mouth. 

_"Craig!"_

_"…it's all right, Mom. You can hit me all you want, but I'll always be your queer son!"_

_"Get out! Get the fuck out of this house! And don't you dare try to take one of the cars!"_

The front door slammed and they saw Justin come running out, breathing hard and biting back sobs. He started to run down the street, away from his house. Debbie immediately dashed to the door and went out into the street. 

"Honey, honey, honey, come here," Debbie called from the doorway. Justin stopped dead in his tracks and turned his head in her direction. 

"Did you hear everything?" he said, brushing his hand across his nose. "I'm so sorry. We'll keep it down." 

Debbie's heart broke for this poor kid. He looked so small in the darkness and in the cold autumn air. "Come in here, sweetheart. Come here, it'll be okay. You can stay here until your father calms down." 

Something about the softness and warmth of her voice made Justin immediately trust her. He approached the Novotny house carefully. "Are you sure?" he said quietly. "I don't want you to feel obligated or…" 

"Into the house, now!" Debbie said. Surprised, Justin walked in. Debbie ushered him into the dining room, where Michael and Vic had taken their seats once more. Justin shyly said hello. 

"Sit down, sit down honey," Debbie said as she went into the kitchen. "Have you eaten? Well, you're eating again. Sit down and talk to Vic and Michael." 

"Um…it's nice to meet you," Justin said, feeling a little nervous and unsure of himself, taking a seat at the table. "I'm Justin Taylor." 

"Good to meet you Justin," Vic said cheerfully. "Isn't this great, Michael?" 

Michael made a non-committal grunt. He'd immediately recognized the kid's blond hair from that quick glimpse a few nights ago. This was the kid that had made Brian stop and stare, and he did not want to talk to him. 

Coming in from the kitchen with a big plate of lasagna, Debbie balanced the plate with one hand and slapped Michael hard across the head again. "Ma…" Michael complained. 

"Show some manners, you little shit! I'm sorry, Sunshine. Michael can be a bit of an asshole sometimes. He follows his best friend's example." 

Justin was a little confused. Now that the initial shock of getting thrown out of his house had passed, he started to wonder where the hot kid from Bio was. This was his house, wasn't it? 

Debbie set the plate down in front of Justin, who promptly picked up his fork and began to wolf down his lasagna. He’d only managed to get a bite of his mother’s meat loaf before his dad had started wreaking havoc and yelling at the top of his lungs. Justin shook his head. What was the matter with him? Yelling about rumors starting up when he was screaming their life story for the whole neighborhood to hear. 

"So Justin, you just moved in?" Vic said, trying to make conversation. He knew that look, that “lost” look, and he knew he had to get the kid’s head out of dark places. Dark places had the power to consume a person. 

Justin swallowed his food before he spoke, remembering his manners. "Yeah. We moved from a little place about an hour from here." 

Silence fell over the table again. Debbie waited until Justin had eaten about half his lasagna before she began grilling him. "Sweetheart, are you all right? That was vicious back there." 

Justin's face darkened a little. "I'm fine. It's…it's a long story. I don't know if you heard, but he doesn't really accept me for who I am." 

"Because you're queer," Debbie broke in, nodding. "The shithead. He looked all right when I talked to him a few days ago. A little stiff, but all right. All these parents should be proud of their kids! I'm proud of my brother and I'm proud of Michael! He's a little shit sometimes, he's queer, and I love him! So why was your father yelling at you for? He already knew, didn't he?" 

Justin scoffed. "He's in denial. Doesn't want to believe his son is gay.” Justin looked quite sad for a moment, then a look of determination took over. “Well, I don't care. I didn't ask him to go snooping through the calls on my cell." 

"He was snooping through your calls?" Vic said in disbelief. 

"Yeah, he never leaves me alone. He wants me to stop seeing Matt, my boyfriend back home. There was this huge thing and rumors started going around…just a bunch of shit, you know?" Justin had no idea why he was being so open to this woman and her family. He was either really lonely or…or they were just really easy to talk to, unlike his own family. 

Vic nodded. "Being out in high school is tough. Michael's friend Brian goes through the same shit, even with his own family. That’s why he prefers our home." 

Justin's incredibly intelligent brain began working when he heard this. "Is Brian tall? And dark-haired?" 

"Yes," Vic said. "Have you met him?" 

"I think…I think I saw him over here the other day. He's in one of my classes at school." 

"You probably did see him here, this is where he spends half his time," Debbie broke in. "Brian Kinney is a real asshole. Arrogant little shit, too." 

"Ma, don't say that about Brian," Michael whined, finally breaking his silence. 

"He's a good kid though," Vic said. 

Justin smiled at them. This was such a great family. They made him feel so at ease. For a minute, Justin felt like he never wanted to go back home. As if his dad would allow him to go back. 

"Wow. You guys are great," Justin said. "How come you're so…I don't know…comfortable about this stuff?" 

Debbie smiled. "Like I said, my brother and my son and my son's friends are all gay. I spend almost all day on Liberty Avenue." 

Justin arched an eyebrow. "Liberty Avenue? You mean…isn't that where…" 

"It's the Pitts' huge gay center," Debbie said. "Clubs, stores, restaurants…I work at the Liberty Diner. Come in sometime and I'll give you a few of our lemon bars on the house." 

Justin smiled. "My dad would shit himself." 

Debbie growled. "It's time your father learned to appreciate the son he has. You're a special little thing Sunshine, and don't you forget it." 

As the conversation kept going, Justin felt his night getting brighter and brighter. Vic and Debbie were great, and even though Michael didn't say much, he seemed like he'd be okay too. When Debbie offered him the guest room for the night, Justin felt even better. She also let him use their phone to call Matt. 

That night, after a half hour chat with his boyfriend, Justin stretched out on the bed and pulled the covers to his chin. He'd never felt so at home, and he wished he could stay here forever. 


	4. A Start

  
Author's notes: Hello everyone! I want to thank those who have shown their support for their story! This chapter is dedicated to Sonya, who puts a smile on my face every day! <3 Love you! ~ Blue  


* * *

The alarm clock hit 6:30 A.M. and the radio blared loudly.

Brian groaned and stretched his arm out to hit the snooze button. He sighed in relief when the alarm was quieted and put his hand up to his head. Being jolted awake from an infernal ringing device was NOT the best way to start his mornings. Whoever invented it should have his balls cut off.

After hitting the snooze button again and again in the subsequent minutes, Brian finally dragged his ass out of bed at 7:00 A.M. 

Rolling out of bed, Brian got to his feet, peeled off his boxers, and jumped in the shower quickly. He had to get to school in forty minutes, before the tardy bell rang. He normally would have taken his time and strolled into AP Bio at about 8:15, but he was aware that three tardies meant a detention, and he already had two under his belt. Brian usually could have cared less about detention, but the school had the nasty habit of calling parents, and the last time Jack had been called at work Brian had had to suffer the consequences later that evening. It had taken several days for the bruises to begin to fade. 

While stopping at a red light on his way to school, Brian thought of a perk of getting to Bio on time. He would get more time to watch Justin Taylor. Brian didn't have any classes with him besides Bio, and even though he would never admit it, in one day Bio had become the most entertaining class he was forced to sit through. 

Speaking of the kid, Brian had been thinking about him since their last encounter, though he didn't like to admit it. He just didn't understand what had gone wrong. He'd used all the coy looks, the suggestive remarks…everything he had he'd used. But Justin had not fallen prey. And Brian wasn't completely sure if Justin had been telling the truth about his "boyfriend." 

Brian's car came to a halt in the student parking lot. As he made his way to his locker for his textbook, he was surprised to see that he was actually five minutes early, something that had not happened since the first day of school back in freshman year. Usually he made it at 7:45 on the dot.

As Brian twirled his combination, the voice that always managed to be the first he heard every morning made its way into his ear. 

"Briiiiaaan…" 

Brian groaned. 

"You didn't come over for dinner last night," Michael whined. "Ma was bugging me about it during dinner. We had lasagna." 

Brian sighed as he hung his jacket up on the coat hook. "I had stuff to do, Mikey." 

"Briiiiiaan…" 

"God dammit Mikey!" 

Michael pouted for another second, then seemed to put the issue out of his head. "You won't believe who Ma invited for dinner instead. Some kid from next door." 

Michael was not stupid. He knew very well that Brian wanted to fuck the blond. Michael had been walking around Liberty Avenue with Brian since junior year. Usually, those evenings ended with Michael driving his car while Brian made out with some trick in the backseat, or waiting by the alley while Brian fucked said trick in the shadows. Either way, Michael had seen Brian's predatory glances, so he knew what Brian wanted from the kid. 

"…What?" Brian said, bending over, head inside the locker in search of a pencil somewhere in its depths.

"I said Ma invited the new kid next door for dinner." 

Brian stood up abruptly and with a loud crash banged his head on the frame of the locker. 

"Fuck!" Brian shouted.

Mr. Hutter, the economics teacher, scowled at him as he passed.

Brian scowled back until he was out of sight, then turned to look at Michael. "The blond kid? Justin?" 

Michael's guard immediately went up. "How do you know his name?" he asked Brian. 

Brian was quiet for a second, then shrugged his shoulders as he slammed his locker shut. "The kid is in my AP Bio class. He's all right." 

Michael stared at him suspiciously. "Well…Ma invited him over. Kid had a big blowout with his dad. Guy told him to get out of the house. He's…well, he's queer," Michael admitted, unsure if he was right in telling Brian this. "So Ma actually let him stay in the guest room last night. I'm not sure how much longer he'll be there." 

Although he was listening quite attentively, Brian maintained his calm and slightly bored façade. "All right," he said, as if the information he had received was of little or no importance. 

The first bell rang. 

"Well, I better be going," Michael said. "Can't be late for Spanish. I'll see you later, all right?"

Brian shrugged again and turned to head back to the science wing even though the second bell was still five minutes away. As soon as he entered the room he smiled to himself when he saw Justin Taylor already copying down the notes the drone had written on the board. 

Almost as instantly, Brian frowned when he saw a dark-haired girl practically leaning across Justin's desk, her blouse unbuttoned almost to the bra as she talked to him. Brian couldn't help but roll his eyes at the girl's obvious flirtation, or smirk when he saw Justin's slightly nauseated expression as he kept his answers short and his eyes glued firmly to the board. 

Brian felt pity for Justin and marched right over there, looking cool and sophisticated. "Hey Justin," he said. "I had a question on the homework." He shot a look at the girl that expressed quite plainly that she was dismissed. 

Huffing softly, the girl straightened up and walked away. 

Justin finally looked at Brian, the expression on his face one of relief. "Thanks," he said. "She was getting really annoying." 

"Don't I know it," Brian said. 

Now that the girl was gone, Justin looked at Brian a little more warily. "So…did you really have a question, or are you just trying to get me to sleep with you again?" 

Brian rolled his eyes and replied in a joking tone, "Really, don't you think I have better things to do with my time?" 

Justin started copying the notes down again. "Fine." 

Brian sighed. "Listen, Justin, I think we can really get to know each other better. Stick around after school and wait for me. I have soccer practice." 

Justin snorted and looked at Brian again. "Really, don't you think I have better things to do with my time?" 

Brian's mind was in a state of shock again. "Twat!" he thought. "Turning my remarks back on me! He's got to be bluffing. No way can he resist me like that. He's a red-blooded gay boy, isn't he?" 

The second bell rang, and the teacher immediately pounced on Brian. "Mr. Kinney, I've told you dozens of times, in your seat when the bell hits 7:45!" 

"Sure Mr. C," Brian said automatically, his legs carrying him back to his seat as if he was on autopilot. 

Mr. Clarke glared at the class a little longer, then turned back to the class. "We're doing a lab today," he said, glowering at the rows of students. "Lab partners will remain the same." 

The same girl who had been cornering Justin earlier put up her hand. "What about Justin? He doesn't have a group." 

Mr. Clarke looked a little annoyed. "I don't know…he can join one of the pairs, I suppose. Hmm…how about…" 

"He can be in my group!" the girl said immediately. 

"Or mine!" 

Mr. Clarke silenced the offers with one withering look. "Mr.…uh…Taylor, you can partner Mr. Hobbs and Mr. Ronan." 

Brian winced for the kid. True, he was still pissed off at him, but he didn't envy him the group he'd been put into. Chris Hobbs and Doug Ronan were a couple of the most empty-headed jocks he'd ever met. The testosterone level around them was just out of control. God only knew how they'd made it into AP Bio. Chances were they'd make Justin do all the work.

"All right, that settled? Get into your lab groups and write a problem and hypothesis for the lab on page 228…" 

*             *             *

Brian was running, the soccer ball cradled expertly between his feet. He evaded the defense, weaving in and out of the players. It was just the goalie and him now. One-on-one. 

This was where he lived. The soccer field. He was powerful here. No one could get him, no one could reach him. Not Joan, not Jack…not anyone. He was one with himself. One man. One mind. One goal.

Brian lined himself up with the ball and with a mighty kick managed to send the ball sailing directly into the back of the net. 

A whistle sounded from the coach. "Good shot, Kinney! All right team, that'll be all." 

Upon hearing the magic words, the team bent down on the sidelines, retrieving their bottles of water, towels, and duffel bags, and trudged back to the locker room. 

"Good job Kinney," one of them murmured. 

"Yeah, that was great," another said. 

Brian smirked and went over to the bleachers. He usually kept his stuff separate from all the other guys'. You never did know what could be stolen. 

Where the hell was his duffel bag? Brian kneeled down and poked his head under the bleachers, looking to see if it had fallen behind them.

"This yours, Kinney?" 

For the second time that day, Brian banged his head against metal. "Jesus fuck!" he cursed. "I swear, I'm gonna get a concussion one of these days!"

Still rubbing his head, Brian carefully removed his head from under the bleachers and tilted his face up. 

Justin Taylor. 

The kid was holding out his bag, smiling down at him. "You're a regular David Beckham," he laughed. "Nice job."

Brian was torn between being royally pissed (his head did hurt an awful lot) and being almost ecstatic that Justin had come to see him after all. "Hello to you too," he said, snatching his bag out of Justin's hands. "Next time, try not to sneak up on me while my head is anywhere near metal." 

Justin smiled a huge, beautiful smile. For a minute, Brian felt as if the air in his lungs had been punched out. He was stunning. 

"I decided to see the star player everyone was talking about," Justin said. "You're really good, Brian." 

As much as Brian loved to hear compliments, he rolled his eyes and pretended to let the comment roll right over him. His mind immediately went to where it usually was…the gutter. 

"So, we're alone. Two horny gay boys, pretty much under the bleachers. It's a hot autumn day, I still have energy in me…" 

Justin laughed. "Nice try, Brian." 

Slightly deflated, Brian turned in the direction of the student parking lot and began walking away. 

"Wait! Where are you going?" Justin said, scrambling to catch up. 

"Home," Brian said. "Wanna come?" 

Justin smiled again. "I wouldn't mind, actually. I don't…well…" 

"You don't what?" Brian said. 

"I don't really have a home right now," Justin said in a rush, as if forcing himself to say it before his pride got in the way. 

"Why not?" Brian said, even though he knew why. "I thought you were staying at Mikey's." 

"Michael? Ughh. What's the matter with him anyway?" They both laughed, then Justin got serious again. "My dad can't stand it that I'm gay. That's pretty much why we left…he didn't want me to see Matt anymore." 

The smile on Brian's face faded a little. "The boyfriend." 

Justin nodded hesitantly. "Yeah. Deb's been great, though. She's…she's really something."  

Brian nodded. 

They had arrived at Brian's car. "So…I guess I'll be seeing you," Justin said. "My car isn't too far from here." 

Justin started walking away. Brian suddenly called after him. 

"Were you being serious when you said you didn't want to fuck?"

Justin turned back to him with a serious face but smiling eyes. "One word. Matt. But…you're pretty cool, Brian. We can be friends." 

As Brian watched him walk farther and farther away, he smiled to himself. 

"Friends?" 

He stared after Justin's car as it pulled out of the parking lot. 

"Well, it's a start." 


	5. Babylon Here We Come

  
Author's notes: Hi everybody! Thanks so much for everyone who's reviewed this story, and please review again! Some may consider this chapter a "filler", there's no REAL action, but it's very important to the development of the characters and where things are going. Thanks! xoxoxo Blue  


* * *

“...Well obviously, after we performed the experiment, we can conclude that Josel Kolreuter was correct. This was a perfect example of incomplete dominance. The active allele doesn’t compensate for the inactive allele, and the heterozygous phenotype is pretty much somewhere between the homozygous phenotypes,” Justin said, as if stating the obvious. 

 

Chris Hobbs and Doug Ronan stared at him as if he were speaking in tongues. 

 

Justin sighed. “Whatever. I’ll just write up the lab report and you two can copy it afterward.” Justin did not usually like to do this, but he figured that doing so was easier than attempting to get those two idiots to understand. 

 

As Justin began to write up his conclusion, he caught Brian’s eye across the room. They both smiled at each other. Over the last few weeks they had become pretty good friends. They always went over answers at the beginning of class and abused Mr. Clarke over a couple of sandwiches and a few bags of chips during lunch period. They had begun to learn more about each other. Justin learned that Brian had two loves, soccer and the Novotny family. Brian learned that Justin’s father was a real asshole and that Justin was a brilliant artist. Justin attended Brian’s soccer practices regularly, while Brian stayed after when Justin was inspired and working on a really great piece. 

 

Aside from spending time together while at school, Brian and Justin talked at the Novotny home. Justin had gone back home, but went next door daily. He and his dad hadn’t spoken to each other since the incident, and although Justin felt a little sad about that, he felt much better and much more whole when he wasn’t around his father. Brian came over to the Novotnys much more than he used to, something that Debbie, Vic, and especially Michael had not failed to miss. Much to Debbie’s delight and Michael’s annoyance, the friendship between Brian and Justin was blooming. 

 

The bell rang, signaling the end of the double period. Chris and Doug sprang up from their seats and high-tailed it out of there. Justin packed up his books and walked over to join Brian, who was waiting for him by the door. 

 

“Are they copying again?” Brian asked as they both headed down the halls. 

 

Justin sighed. “Yeah. I really don’t like doing that, but what choice do I have? They don’t understand what we’re doing at all, and I’ve pretty much given up trying to explain this stuff to them. They don’t know and they don’t care.” 

 

Brian thought for a minute. “Well, then don’t give them the answers at all.” 

 

Justin looked at him, arching an eyebrow. “Yeah. Why don’t I just write out my fucking will right now?”      

 

It was Brian’s turn to sigh. “Point taken. They’re just a couple of bastards. They’ll flunk when it comes to tests, anyway.” 

 

“True enough,” Justin agreed. 

 

They came to a stop outside Justin’s history class. Brian’s math class was on the next floor. “Well, I’ll see you at lunch, all right?” Justin said, turning away from Brian. 

 

Brian’s hand suddenly gripped Justin’s upper arm. “Wait a second. That isn’t Mr. Holmes.” 

 

Justin poked his head in and caught sight of a well-dressed, fresh-faced young woman, looking quite nervous. “Sub,” he observed, turning back to Brian. “So?” 

 

Brian rolled his eyes. “Come now, young one,” he said, exasperated. “Have I taught you nothing?” 

 

“Young one?” Justin said haughtily. “You’re like three months older than…ohhhh.” 

 

“Let’s skip,” Brian said. 

 

“But Brian, what about your math class?” Justin asked. 

 

Brian shrugged. “There’ll be another one tomorrow,” he smirked. “Well? What do you say?” 

 

Justin smiled at him, and they both dashed out the back door of the school.

 

It wasn’t until they had climbed over the fence and were a few blocks away from the school that they began to talk loudly and boisterously. “This is so bad,” Justin sniggered, looking very pleased with his little escapade. 

 

Brian rolled his eyes, but smiled all the same. “Tsk tsk, getting all excited for one little skipped class? I see I have my work cut out for me.” 

 

Justin shrugged. “I think this is the first time I’ve skipped a class in my entire high school career. You can’t blame me for being excited.” 

 

“Jesus,” Brian groaned. “I’ve corrupted a child.” 

 

Justin gave Brian a little elbow in the ribs, which Brian attempted to avoid. They continue walking, past the local bookstore, past a grocery store, past a Burger King. The weather was still quite warm and the sun was quite powerful. Beads of sweat began to form on both boys’ foreheads and their pace slowed. Finally, they collapsed on a bench near a bus stop.

 

“Fucking hot,” Brian grunted, fanning himself.  

 

Justin wiped his forehead. “It sure am,” he teased, making Brian roll his eyes. “It is. Air-conditioning would be really nice right about now.” 

 

Brian’s eyes suddenly lit up. “Hey, have you ever been out on Liberty Avenue?” 

 

Justin looked at him suspiciously. “No, no I haven’t. I’ve heard of it though. From Debbie.” 

 

Brian snorted. “Figures. Anyway, I have a friend who works in one of the stores. He doesn’t go to our school, though. Wanna go?” 

 

Justin nodded. “Anywhere that has air-conditioning sounds like heaven right about now.” 

 

Brian whipped out his cell phone and called up the cab service. After a few minutes he ended the call. “Lucky I’m always in need of a cab,” he said, “so I know their number by heart.”

 

After about ten or fifteen minutes the cab pulled up to the curb and Brian and Justin clambered in. “Liberty Avenue,” Brian called out to the cab driver, a portly olive-skinned Italian who snorted and eyed the two boys the two boys in disgust. Brian simply glared back until he had pulled onto the road. 

 

Quite soon they had arrived at Liberty Avenue. The driver lost no time in grabbing the money Brian and Justin had pooled together and speeding off into the distance, as if he were scared someone would see him. Justin felt quite upset, but Brian just scowled, even after the cab was long gone. 

 

They began to walk again. Justin was ecstatic. He had never seen such a place, but he felt so at home, maybe even more at home than he had felt at the Novotny house. Everywhere he turned he saw gay men and women being themselves, holding hands with their lovers, flouncing around, unashamed of who and what they were. Justin had never seen such brave people. He longed to be like them. 

 

“You like?” Brian asked, raising an eyebrow. 

 

“Yeah,” Justin said, looking a little squeamish now that a big bear had suddenly started to stare at him (or rather, his ass). “It’s really…different. But good different.” 

 

Brian smirked, then came to a halt. Justin stopped as well. “What is it?” he asked. 

 

Brian grinned. “We’re here.” He motioned to the store on Justin’s left. 

 

“Torso,” Justin read. “Your friend works here?” 

“Wouldn’t be anywhere else,” Brian answered. They both entered the store. Justin continued to eye everything around him, taking in all the different styles of clothing, most he never would have dared to don…or at least in front of his father.  

 

“Why, I can’t believe my little old eyes! It’s Brian Kinney!” 

 

Justin turned abruptly to see a bouncing, tall young man of about his age join them, beaming happily. “What brings you here, my darling Mr. Kinney?” he gasped. “And who’s this scrumptious little thing?” He winked at a blushing Justin. 

 

“Emmett, this is Justin Taylor. Justin, this is Emmett Honeycutt,” Brian said carelessly. 

 

Emmett leaned in and gave Justin a dainty peck on the cheek. “He’s lovely, Brian. Just wonderful to meet you,” he said to Justin. 

 

“Nice to meet you too,” Justin smiled back. “You don’t go to school with us?” 

 

“No sweetie,” Emmett answered, batting his eyelashes. “Graduated last year, thank God. I just joined the work force, and I must say I love it a whole lot better. Liberty Avenue, there’s no place like it anywhere, is there Brian?” he simpered. 

 

Brian rolled his eyes. “Anyway Emmett, we just stopped by to say hi. We’re taking the day off.” 

 

Emmett beamed again. “Ahh,” he said reminiscently. “I remember when I used to that all the time. Anyway, you coming later to try to get into Babylon again? I think I may actually have an in tonight.” 

 

“Oh yeah?” Brian asked, suddenly interested. “Why’s that?” 

 

Emmett puffed himself up proudly. “A darling older gentleman said he would take me, and I said I just may take him up on his offer. Anyway, be at the doors at eleven.” 

 

Brian grinned. “Will do.” 

 

Emmett turned to Justin, who was still staring at the loud and flamboyant young man as if he had never seen anything like him, which in all honesty, he had not. “Would you like to come, baby? Babylon wouldn’t be Babylon if you weren’t there!” 

 

Justin gulped. “I’d really like to,” he said truthfully. “But I doubt I’d be able to get past my parents.” 

 

Emmett sighed. “It’s your decision, sweetheart. Just try, would you?” 

 

Justin smiled and nodded. 

 

“Well, we’re going to go,” Brian said. “See you later tonight, Emmett.” 

 

“Bye, Brian. Toodles, you sweet little thing.”

 

“Bye,” Justin answered. 

 

As soon as they were out of the store, Justin gasped in excitement, “I’d never met anyone like him, Brian! I love this place!” 

 

Brian tried not to smile too hard. “All right,” he said. “It’s just Liberty Avenue.”

 

“But I just love it!” Justin said loudly, causing several passerby to smile at the boy. “You know what? I think I could just tell my mom I’m staying at Daphne’s. I think Dad may be out-of-town. Wouldn’t that be great? Oh my God, what will I wear?” he rambled. 

 

“Cool it,” Brian muttered. 

 

Justin stopped dead. “You know what,” he said softly. “Maybe I could invite…Matt.” 

 

Brian immediately stopped as well and felt a little cross, though he tried to tell himself he wasn’t. “Yeah, yeah. If you want.” He started walking again. 

 

Justin scrambled to catch up. “That would just be…really great,” Justin said. “I’d love that.” 

 

“Well, let’s go in the diner for a couple of lemonades,” Brian said, changing the subject. 

 

Justin nodded, but vaguely, as if he was thinking of something else. “Brian, do you think once we get in there I can use your phone to call Matt? My dad took mine away.” 

 

Brian was getting more and more pissed, but tried not to show it. “Fine. Let’s just go in already.” 

 

The boys entered the diner. They were instantly met by Debbie, who bombarded the boys with cries of “Sunshine!” and “You little asshole, where the hell have you been these last couple of days?” After they’d both been crushed with hugs, Debbie sat them down with the lemonades they asked for and a huge platter of lemon bars before taking off. 

 

Brian scowled as he watched Justin talk to this fucktard Matt. Even though Brian had never met him, he just knew Matt would be a fucktard. Brian scowled deeper at the huge, beautiful smile lighting up Justin’s face, instantly understanding why Debbie called him Sunshine. Although he secretly loved the smile, he hated the cause of it. 

 

“All right then. Tonight at eleven. Babylon. On Liberty Avenue. Ok. I love you too.” Justin ended the call and smiled over at Brian. “He’s coming, Brian! I can’t wait for you and Michael and Emmett to meet him!”

Brian tried to look unconcerned, and nearly succeeded. “All right then,” he said. 

 

“I’m so excited!” Justin yelped. “Babylon, here we come!’ 

 

Brian scowled again.  


	6. What's Happening?

  
Author's notes: Sorry this took so long to get out...I had exams, so please spare me! :) A week from now I'll be home free! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!   


* * *

Lights. 

That was the first thing Brian noticed as he entered Babylon for the first time. Dizzying, flashing. A variety of colors. The pulse, the rhythm, the underlying beauty of it all. Dozens of bodies moving to that pulse, spinning and dancing and losing themselves. Petty little problems didn't exist here. Just bodies grinding to the constant, maybe even primal beat.  

But it all came back to the lights. 

Because all the lights in the place were (or at least it seemed to Brian) shining on Justin as he swayed to the music. As promised, Emmett and his older gentleman friend had waited for them outside the club. Brian and Justin had shown up together. They hadn't told Michael, sure that he would only mess up things for them with his constant whining and immaturity. Brian had put together a magnificent outfit and knew he looked great. But Justin had barely noticed. All his attention was on the boyfriend. 

Matt. 

Just the name made Brian's insides twist with undeniable hatred and anger. He was a very good-looking guy, tall and athletic, with a shock of dark hair and piercing dark eyes. Justin had nearly swooned in delight at seeing him again. A hug. A kiss. A look of adoration. An exchange of sweet whispers Brian couldn't but wasn't sure if he wanted to hear.

And Brian felt like tearing the guy apart. He maintained the cool and uninterested look he had perfected over the years, but he was livid. Brian knew he was obsessing over the kid, but he couldn't stop himself. Justin was beautiful…truly a ray of sunshine. Brian needed that, needed that more than he had ever needed anything in his life. His own life had been a mess of corruption, of lost innocence, of tears and screaming and pain. And he craved to have something so perfect, so pristine, so clean. He'd never had anything like that in his life. He wanted that. He _needed_ that. And Brian knew it. 

He just didn't want to accept it. 

The initial thrill of finally being inside Babylon was still there, but it was now muted due to Matt's appearance. Brian stood over at the bar with a shot of Beam (he'd heard somewhere that it was the best), watching Justin dance under the blue and white lights. He tried to ignore the boy dancing with Justin, tried to pretend he wasn't there. But Brian knew he was there. Despite having grunted an acknowledgment during the introductions earlier in the evening, Brian was fully aware of him. As much as it killed him to admit it, even to himself, Matt had his own beauty. He was hot, the type of dark-eyed brunette Brian himself would have made a play for on any other night and under any other circumstances. And even though Brian hadn't spoken to him at all, Emmett had come over at some point and gushed about the kindness and intelligence this kid had, and the sweet way he handled Justin, as if he was something precious and delicate. A treasure. 

And Brian knew he was being a lesbian, but he knew that that was exactly what Justin was. And it pained him to think it, but he was glad that Justin had someone who knew how lucky he was and wouldn't take him for granted.   

With one last gulp, Brian drained the tiny glass and made his way to the dance floor, intent on finding a trick. As he began to dance, an ecstatic red-headed trick joined him, moving to Brian's rhythm. 

Although Brian kept dancing with him, he couldn't help but gaze fixedly at Justin and Matt. They had moved off the dance floor to down another round of drinks. Brian couldn't care less about Matt, but he had a feeling Justin had had one too many. Justin was giggling madly and winking at any passing trick who gave him an appreciative glance.

Matt said something to Justin and then disappeared in the crowd. Brian watched as he started dancing with Emmett. 

Turning back to Justin, Brian saw a big bear leaning very close to the kid, his hands starting to wander past particular boundaries. Justin seemed to be okay with it, as he kept smiling and laughing, but Brian was not. His fists clenched and his pulse thudded in his ears. His eyes went wide when he saw Justin reach out and accept the drink the bear was offering. Before he even knew what had happened, Brian had marched right over to the bar and in an impressive display of strength, pulled Justin out of the bear's arms, gave the bear a scowl, and dragged Justin to the bar with him. 

Emmett, who had been watching this interesting little scene play out over Matt's shoulder, grinned to himself. He never thought he'd see the day when Brian Kinney was actually jealous over someone. 

Meanwhile, Brian was livid. 

"What do you think you're doing?" Brian asked. "You never take a drink from someone, you little twat!" 

Justin looked a little annoyed, pulling his arm out of Brian's grasp. "Relax, Bri. I'm just having fun, all right? Which is something I thought you'd be doing too." He left and went to join Matt and Emmett. 

Brian was still livid, perhaps even more so now that he realized that Justin was right. For years…ever since he found out he was gay, really, he'd been dreaming and fantasizing about his first night out at Babylon. He'd waited and prayed and longed for the day when he'd be able to dance under the lights and finally become a REAL part of this world, _his_ world, the world he was meant to and would conquer. He'd tried countless times to get into the club, but each time was in vain. Each night Brian would just go right back to bed, cursing Vic for not handing over his membership card when he demanded it and once again falling into reverie. 

And now here he was, finally at Babylon, had accomplished one of his life's ambitions. And what was he doing? Instead of dancing and fucking trick after trick in the backroom (numerous tricks had already made passes at him, which he'd turned down), he was glowering and keeping watch over Justin, like a nursemaid. 

Well fuck that. 

Brian left the bar and maneuvered his way into the middle of the dance floor. Almost instantly, he felt a couple of tricks encircle him, pushing up and grinding against him. Brian closed his eyes and let himself forget about everything. Even Justin. 

The rest of the night flashed by in a haze. Determined to lose his inhibitions, Brian downed shot after shot and took a couple of hits of E. He saw a muddled mess of flesh, brightness, darkness, blue and gold and white. Then he was in the backroom, fucking the shit out of one trick after another. The men were faceless, nameless. He didn't know what was happening. 

"All right Brian, let's get you out of here." 

Brian dimly recognized his friend's voice and felt a pair of arms steering him away from the backroom and towards the exit. 

"Emmett? Where's your date? And Justin? And…and…" 

"Oh, my date left. Turned out he just wanted a quick fuck." Emmett shrugged. "Justin and Matt left a little while ago. Don't know where to. I think they mentioned something about a park." 

"What? But Justin…if his parents find out…" Brian stumbled over his own feet. 

"Easy, Brian. Just focus on getting yourself out of here. Then you can worry about baby," Emmett said. 

"Not worrying…" Brian said, stubborn even when drunk. 

Emmett grinned. "Yeah yeah, let's just get you home…" 

Brian groaned. "Not back there, not in that house, please…" He tried to stop walking and tried to jerk away from Emmett. 

Emmett pulled him back. "Hold on, Brian. You can't leave by yourself. You're drunker than a drag queen in Vegas on New Year's Eve! You can stay with little ol' Emmett, he'll have a place for you." 

Brian grunted as he was pushed into the passenger seat of his own car. He tried to bat Emmett's hands away as he buckled Brian in. 

"I've had you Emmett, I'm not going to your apartment to fuck again…" 

Emmett scowled and cuffed Brian around the head in an almost scary imitation of Debbie. "Honestly Brian Kinney, I do good things for people WITHOUT expecting a fuck in return!" 

Brian felt his head swimming and groaned again when the car began to move. "If you fuck up my car Honeycutt…" he growled, pressing the palms of his hands to his eyes. 

Emmett scoffed. "Whatever, Brian." 

Brian tilted his head back and once again in a blur of objects and a smear of colors saw the world spinning around him. He felt himself stumbling into an apartment with Emmett's aid again, collapsing on the couch, and almost immediately falling asleep. 

_Tears. Loss. Terrible feelings of grief._

_"God Brian…I wish, I wish…" Breathy gasps, sniffling, a long-suffering heart almost at its breaking point._

_"Shhh…it'll be all right. Everything will always be all right. It has to be." Words of comfort, even though his own voice is wobbly, shaking, holding back his own tears. Trying to be strong for the other's sake._

_"But…but…I'll never…" Desperate voice, expressing the desperate way the other tries to hold on to past, beautiful memories. But past. No more._

_Brush of lips to a soft, smooth curve of a cheek. Small hand slipping into a slightly larger one.  "It'll never be never for us."_

BAM. BAM. 

Brian was jolted awake. Rubbing his eyes, trying to dispel the last remnants of a puzzling dream from his mind, he sat up on the sofa, staring at the door. Someone was outside and banging on the door. Brian put a hand to his forehead and gave an angry sigh. And it was doing wonders for his thumping bitch of a headache. 

Emmett's shadow came bustling in from the bedroom. He flipped a light switch on and pressed his eye to the door hole. 

"Why baby!" 

The door was opened and Justin came flying in, his face blotchy, lips and nose slightly swollen from crying so hard, eyes filled with angry tears. He threw himself in Emmett's arms, his hands clutching the tall brunette's shoulders. 

"Emmett…Emmett…he's been lying to me. This whole time…" 

Emmett, his arms filled with shaking, trembling blond boy, pulled Justin to his couch. Brian immediately pulled his legs away to make room for Justin and Emmett. 

"What is it baby? Is it Matt?" 

At the mention of the name, Justin gave a cry of outrage, turning to Brian and burying his face in his crumpled-from-sleeping-in-it jacket. "This whole time! He…he said he needs 'a break' from our relationship. The asshole!" Justin brushed away tears from his eyes and continued, imitating Matt. " 'I need space, Justin. I'm going through some shit right now and I don't need you hanging onto me!' " Justin dissolved into angry tears again. 

Brian cocked an eyebrow. "Did he say what 'shit' he was going through exactly?" 

"No!" Justin shouted. "No! When I asked him what he was talking about, he refused to tell me! And I don't hang onto him all the time! Tonight was the first time I saw him since I moved here!" 

Emmett rubbed Justin's back comfortingly. "So where is he now?" 

Justin scoffed angrily. "Called his older brother to pick him up from the park. Whatever." 

He blew his nose noisily. 

Brian turned to Emmett. "You know what, it's late. Let me handle Justin. You have to work early tomorrow." 

Emmett stifled a yawn. "All right Mr. Kinney. You sure you can handle a broken boy?" 

Brian rolled his eyes. "It ain't brain surgery." 

Emmett got up from the sofa. "I'm turning in then. Night Brian." He pressed a soft kiss to Justin's forehead. "Don't let the shit get to you, baby. He doesn't know what he's missing." 

Justin gave him a watery smile. "Night Emmett. I'm sorry to barge in on you like that." 

Emmett waved his hand. "No problem baby, no problem." He shuffled over to the bedroom and turned around in the doorway. "The sofa is a pull-out bed. Just so you know." He turned back and closed the door behind him so that neither of the two boys could see his grin. 

Getting to his feet, the alcohol still swimming in his bloodstream, Brian pulled Justin up and fixed up the sofa. He grabbed two pillows and a blanket Emmett had evidently tossed in his lap when he'd passed out a few hours earlier. This time, Brian pulled off his jacket, shirt, and jeans, but left his boxers on. He then got under the blanket. Brian looked up to see Justin, still standing, looking a little unsure and shy. 

Brian rolled his eyes. "Come on, Justin. It was hot today but it's a chilly night." 

Justin pulled off his own clothes and joined Brian under the blanket, clad only in his boxers, shivering slightly and pulling the blanket tighter around him. 

Brian could see his profile in the moonlight shining in from the slightly open drapes. "You okay?" he asked. 

Justin nodded. "Yeah…just a little sad." 

Before Brian knew what he was doing, he was stroking the soft blond hair. "It'll be all right. Everything will be all right," he said, echoing the words in the dream he had already forgotten.

Justin sighed softly. "What's happening?" he asked quietly, voice pleading, questioning. 

Brian, unsure of what he meant, didn't know what to answer. "I don't know," he whispered back. 

Justin rolled away from Brian, settling on the other end of the "bed." In a few minutes he was asleep. 

Only Brian remained awake. He wasn't sure if he was happy or upset that the blanket was long enough to accommodate both of them at this distance. 

After about an hour, Brian fell asleep, his body so close to Justin's, yet seemingly miles apart. And the lights in the room kept dancing.


	7. No One Can Beat Brian Kinney

  
Author's notes:

Hi! I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! It's been a while since I've updated. I finished up school, and I Took a week-long vacation with limited computer access. But I'm back now, and by way of compensation, I present to you this chapter, the longest one I've ever written. It's not much, but hell I'm proud of myself! 

Thanks for sticking around. 

~ Izzy xoxoxo 

* * *

"Taylor!" 

Justin groaned and unwillingly turned to face his tormentors. 

Chris Hobbs, tailed by a huge pack of his cronies, strode over to where Justin was standing by his locker, clutching a folder of his drawings for AP Studio Art (and some of his own private drawings). He yanked the folder out of Justin's hands and briefly looked through them, but to Justin's relief, he did not mange to catch the ones in the back. 

"So this is what you do all the time, huh Taylor? Well, besides suck dick, huh?" he sniggered. All his jock buddies did the same. 

"Fuck off," Justin said. "Give me my drawings back." 

"Well that isn't very nice," Hobbs said. "What if I don't give them back?"

"Oh yes you will," came a voice from behind Justin. 

The group of jocks stared, and Justin turned, to see Brian standing there, perhaps not as bulky but definitely as tall as any of them, glowering at Hobbs. 

"Kinney, you're losing your sense of humor," Hobbs said. "Whatever. You want to help stupid little fags, you go ahead." And with that, he tossed the folder in the air, scattering the drawings everywhere and departed with his little gang. 

Justin bent to the ground, cheeks red and heart pounding in his ears, and started to gather the drawings before anyone else could see them. To his dismay, Brian bent down as well. 

"Don't, Brian, I can handle this…" 

"You were doing a great job," Brian sniped. "And I'm just trying to help you, twat. What's this?" 

Justin's heart suddenly stopped. "It's nothing. Give it to me." 

A cloud seemed to pass over Brian's face for a split second, but then the clouds dissipated and his tongue seemed to find its way into his cheek, and he smirked. "Nice," he said. "If that's accurate. But mine's bigger." 

Justin rolled his eyes, trying to let out a sigh of relief without Brian noticing when he realized Brian hadn't picked up the drawing he was worried over. "Sure Brian. Can I have it back, please?" 

Brian handed the drawing of Matt over, which Justin hastily stuffed in his messenger bag. 

"I'm surprised you haven't thrown that out yet," Brian said as they began heading towards the cafeteria for their lunch period. "Why haven't you?" 

Justin sighed. "I don't know. I don't want to think that this is completely over, you know? We were together a long time, and I don't know if I really want to give up on us." 

Brian was silent for a moment. "…Did you fuck him?" 

Justin gaped at him. "Brian, please!" 

"Fucking isn't a sin, Justin. Maybe some people think when queers do it it is, but it's not." 

Justin tried to bat away his feelings of embarrassment. "No," he answered. "I didn't fuck him." 

A little wave of anger gleamed through Brian, though he immediately quenched it. "Did he fuck you?" he asked, feeling agonized just by the thought.

Justin sighed. 

"Spill, Sunshine," Brian urged, slightly afraid of the answer.

"No, okay? We never fucked. We blew each other and gave handjobs, but we never fucked." Justin was blushing hard. He hadn't wanted to tell Brian that. He didn't want Brian to know that he was so inexperienced. Not when Brian was the twinkie king of Liberty Avenue. Even though Brian could hardly be considered a twink anymore. 

Brian felt like dancing, but he managed to keep those feelings in check. "And why is that?" he asked. 

Justin sighed. "I…I don't know. I loved him a lot, but it was complicated. I can't explain it. I just felt like…fuck…" 

Brian smiled to himself. "Well it doesn't really matter why, does it?" he said, pretending to shrug off this valuable information. "When were you planning on getting your cherry popped?" 

By now, Brian and Justin had reached their lunch table and plopped their bags in their chairs. 

Justin blushed once again. "I guess soon. I don't know. Maybe we should go out on Liberty Avenue sometime this week and let it happen." 

Brian clenched his fists at his sides as they joined the lunch line with their trays. "Maybe," he answered, while privately thinking that he would suck off Mikey before he let that happen.

After getting their lunches (disgusting mac n' cheese was on the menu today), they sat down at the table. Michael soon sat down with them, bringing his own bag lunch provided by the illustrious Debbie. 

"Brian," Michael said. "We haven't hung out in forever! Why don't you come over today after school?" 

Brian groaned, then turned to look at Justin. "Well, what do you think, Justin?" 

Michael scowled. "I said you, Brian." 

Justin shrugged. "Maybe you should just hang out with him today, Brian. Besides, I'll be right next door if you want to drop by afterwards." 

Brian wanted to complain. He didn't want to sit on Mikey's bed, listening to him read out excerpts of his favorite issues this month. Not when he could be doing something useful. Like hanging out with a certain fuckable blond he still needed to get. 

That made Brian think about this situation. At first, his plan was to befriend Justin and to gradually get closer to him and fuck him. But…now things were different. Hanging out with Justin these last few weeks had been great. Brian had always had Mikey, but Justin was different. Justin was more…well, intelligent. He knew more, he understood more, and he listened more. Not to mention that he was incredibly talented, beautiful, and sexy. It had taken Brian everything he had not to make a move on Justin that night after Babylon while they'd been lying together on the sofa. But God, how he'd wanted to. 

While dancing at Babylon, he'd started to think about this, about how great and how special Justin was. Being Justin's friend made him start to really care about the boy. And caring about Justin meant missing him and longing for him every time Brian wasn't in close proximity to the blond. And Brian didn't like to admit it, but these feelings were getting dangerously close to…that certain four-letter word that was pretty much a breeder's mantra. 

Shaking his head slightly to diffuse these thoughts, Brian turned back to Michael. "All right Mikey, I'll come," he said, shrugging indifferently. "Why not?" 

Mikey breathed a huge sigh of relief and smiled widely in triumph. "Great Brian! Come around six, okay? You can stay for dinner if you want." 

Brian shrugged again. 

"Oh shit," Justin said as he began digging through his old and tatttered messenger bag. "Brian, I think I left my Bio book in Clarke's class. I'll have to go back for a second; he's got lunch this period too I think, so I won't be interrupting anything." 

Brian nodded. "Yeah, he's off this period. I remember serving a detention for him this period a few weeks ago," he smirked as he remembered the circumstances…something about a snarky comment. "You want me to go with you?" 

Instantly, Brian winced. What the fuck was he doing? He was supposed to be cool and calm and indifferent. 

Luckily, Justin didn't seem to notice anything, but Michael did. He shot Brian a look of disbelief and anger mixed with jealousy. 

"No need," Justin said, getting up from his chair. "I'll be five minutes at the most." And with that, he left the cafeteria. 

Michael turned back to Brian. "What the fuck was that, Brian?" 

"What was what?" Brian said, trying not to look at Michael and instead focusing on shoveling the disgusting yellow food on his tray down his throat. 

Michael scowled. 

* * *

Justin walked down the halls on his way to the biology classroom, but his mind was elsewhere. He was thinking about Brian. 

Brian's voice, smirk, eyes, lips, and body were beginning to haunt his dreams and even his daydreams. Justin didn't know what to make of it. He remembered the strong attraction he'd felt for Brian when he first met the tall brunette almost two months ago, but he could remember distinctly pushing those feelings away. 

But Justin had had Matt in those days. And although Justin knew that those powerful tugs of want had not faded away completely, but Matt had served as a distraction, and as an obligation. Justin was not a cheater. He did not want to do any of that. 

Now that Matt was gone though, with each passing day Justin didn't long for Matt as much as he'd imagined he would. Of course, he still thought about him and all their good times together, but when he put pencil to paper, Brian's face appeared more often that he was comfortable with. And those dreams…disconcerting yet arousing ones. 

Justin was fully aware of Brian's reputation. He had regaled the blond with tale after tale of good hard fucks on Liberty Avenue, whether in the diner or wherever else. Justin tried to laugh them off, but he felt a little twinge of pain when he thought about _his_ Brian with random guys. It just wasn't fair. 

Justin entered the biology classroom, which was deserted. Usually Mr. Clarke was sitting at his desk eating his lunch (the man was so anti-social he didn't even go into the teacher's lounge), but today he was nowhere to be found. 

Catching sight of his biology book under his desk, Justin ducked his head under and grabbed his book. He was on his way out when he heard a strange noise. 

Moans. Sighs. The unmistakable, somewhat foreign-sounding (at least to Justin) sounds of sex coming from the storeroom. 

Justin rolled his eyes. Obviously, a couple had decided on the biology classroom for a good fuck. As Emmett would say, "The whole under-the-bleachers thing is so passé now, sweetie." 

Chuckling softly at the idea and with his curiosity getting the better of him, Justin decided to peek into the storeroom and see who the couple was. He began to wish that Brian had come with him. The brunette would have found it hilarious. But Justin resolved to relate the whole compelling tale to him when he got back to the cafeteria. 

Justin's mouth dropped open and he couldn't believe his eyes. This couldn't be right. This couldn't be. This was a crazy, fucked up dream. 

Because what he was seeing couldn't be real. He couldn't possibly be watching Chris Hobbs, the school's big tough football hero, kneeling on the ground and blowing Mr. Clarke. A teenager and a forty-something year old teacher. A STUDENT and a teacher. This couldn't be. This was impossible. 

Justin stepped back, his mouth still half-open, feeling a little dizzy. Mr. Clarke was leaning against the wall; his head tilted back, hands gripping Chris' hair. Justin couldn't see much of Chris except the back of his bobbing head. 

Raising a shaking hand to his mouth, Justin tried to fight the heaving lurches in his stomach. He felt nauseous. He wanted to throw up. Most of all, he wanted to bolt for the door, but he couldn't get his feet unstuck. Justin made a helpless little noise of bewilderment and disbelief. 

Mr. Clarke snapped his head up and gaped at Justin. "Oh no," he gasped, pushing Chris away from his dick. 

Those words seemed to snap Justin out of his horrified shock. He stumbled back a few more steps and stared at Chris as he too turned to look at him, looking angry but scared. 

And then Justin ran.

***

"So what happened today?" 

Justin turned to look at Brian, who was sitting on his bed, watching him struggle to sketch something at his desk. 

The blond sighed, annoyed. "Nothing, Brian, I've told you a thousand times nothing happened." 

Brian rolled his eyes. "Bullshit. I can tell something's up. Did those assholes pick on you again? Because if they did…"

"No, they didn't!" Justin protested, now exasperated. "And I don't need you to defend me!" 

The brunette scoffed. "Stop being such a brat, Sunshine. I'm only looking out for you like I look out for Mikey." 

Justin glowered at him. "Yeah well, Michael needs the protection. I don't. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, thank you very much." 

Brian snorted. "Ever the polite little WASP, aren't we?" 

Justin turned back to his piece of paper and then crumpled it up, sighing. He couldn't seem to draw anything of value for his end of the quarter AP Studio Art project. Every time he got an idea, it would come out distorted or childish. He blamed that creep Clarke and his little romp with Hobbs for his distraction. 

Whenever the image flitted through his brain, the blond would close his eyes and groan inwardly. He wished he'd never gone back in for his Bio book. He didn't know why he wasn't telling Brian, but he just wanted to pretend that it never happened. 

Justin got up from his desk with an annoyed sigh and threw himself on his bed. Brian made a little room for him and shifted to the side. 

"Careful. I don't want to get sat on by that big ass." 

"I don't have a big ass," Justin contradicted. "Debbie called it a bubble butt." 

"Same fucking thing." 

"It is not." 

"Are you going to go to bed? Because if you are just tell me and I'll take off." 

Justin frowned. "You're always around, Brian. You've even spent the night on the sofa sometimes. You can stay here if you want." 

Brian's shoulders slumped. "Jack caught on. Told me if I spent another night away from the house he'd hack off my balls. Wouldn't put it past him, either." 

The blond winced. "Is it just my house? Couldn't you stay at Michael's?" 

Brian scoffed. "Mikey's pissing me off right now. He won't grow up. Which is why I came over here much sooner than I said I would. I didn't even stay for dinner." 

Justin sat up from his bed. "Why didn't you tell me? Want me to make you something?" 

The tall brunette shook his head. "I'm fine. Besides, isn't your mom down there?" 

Justin shook his head, lying back down. "She has a bridge game with of her friends from the club until 9:00, I think. Dad's on a business trip. And Molly's staying over with a friend." 

"Cool," Brian said. "So we can do whatever?" 

Justin laughed. "As long as it's legal, I'm okay with it." He grinned. "You know, you didn't even notice that I stole your wallet when you came in." 

Brian immediately patted his pockets, and then glared at the blond. "What the fuck? Give it back!" 

Justin laughed again. "No can do, Brian." He stuffed it under his pillow and laid back on top of it. 

Brian tossed his jacket to the side. "Ok, then." 

With that, he began wrestling with Justin, his arms digging under the pillow in search of the wallet. Justin shrieked and laughed, trying to push Brian off the bed. Brian rolled on top of him and tried to pin down his wrists with one hand and get his wallet with the other. 

"Stop, Bri, you're too heavy!" Justin giggled, still trying to throw Brain off of him. 

After a couple more minutes of scuffling, Brian managed to grab his wallet and throw it into a corner of the room with his shoes, where Justin couldn't get it. 

Justin was panting hard. "Okay, you win." 

Brian was panting too. "I told you. No one…no one can beat me at anything." 

The blond giggled at the breaks in their conversation. "I feel like we just had sex." 

Brian rolled his eyes. "The clothes would have to be off, Sunshine. Although the view with clothes isn't too bad, either." 

Without even realizing what he was doing, Brian's eyes openly searched Justin's body. His tee shirt had ridden up during their wrestling and was revealing soft white flesh and the tiny shorts he had on were framing his slender, pale hips perfectly. The body of an artist. A beautiful one. 

Justin gulped and his lips and chest trembled as he looked up to see the dark, predatory look in Brian's beautiful eyes. 

Brian couldn't help it. The liquid blue eyes, smoldering with innocence and want, the soft pink lips parted slightly, and the long, long eyelashes. It was all too much. He leaned in and pressed his mouth to Justin's ever so gently.   
  
They laid there for a few minutes, their kisses growing stronger, their hands growing bolder, and their bodies growing more impatient. 

Justin's heart was beating frantically. Of course he'd kissed before, even lying down in a bed like this, but for some reason he felt himself reacting more strongly to Brian than he had to Matt, and that scared him. Brian was one of his best friends…right? 

But as the kisses continued, Justin could feel his heart begin to swell with love. He didn't want this to happen, knew that love usually led only to pain, but he couldn't help it. The blond knew he'd fallen hard for this other boy the minute he'd seen him, he had just tried to deny it. Justin felt Brian's hand begin to pull down his shorts and he trembled again. 

Brian was a very perceptive lover. He knew that Justin had just trembled out of nervousness, and even though his body begged him not to stop, he rolled off of Justin and decided to let things go at a slower pace. He thought of Justin…loved Justin too much to rush things with him and treat this like any other fuck. 

The brunette gathered Justin to his side and held him for a few minutes. Justin buried his face in Brian's neck and gave it a tender, soft kiss and threw his arms around him as well. 

They laid there for a few minutes, not talking, just enjoying each other, memorizing the feel of their bodies against the other's, each other's smell, and the emotions stirring inside each of them. 

After a bit, Brian tilted Justin's face towards his and smiled down at him. "This is nice, isn't it?" he said. "You do realize that I have you now? That I won?" 

Justin smiled back and nestled his head back into Brian's neck. "I guess no one can beat you at anything, Brian." 

And they kissed again.


	8. The Little Blond Boyfriend

  
Author's notes:

Hello once again! I'm pleased to present another chapter of this story. I hope this is going well and so far your reviews have encouraged me, so thanks to every one of you who has reviewed so far and please, keep reviewing! This chapter is dedicated to my beautiful friend Sonya, who knows exactly how to handle my tantrums and knows that she's the only one who is allowed to call me Isabel. *shudders at her given name* So thanks so much Sonya! 

xoxoxo Izzy

* * *

Brian Kinney was in love.

Yes, he still cringed at the words. Yes, every time someone mentioned it to him he rapidly changed the subject. Yes, he still considered the idea to be a lesbian one. 

But everyone who knew him knew the truth. 

Brian Kinney was in love. 

At school, he couldn't concentrate. Not that he wanted to. During every class (except AP Bio, where he had the real thing) Brian would daydream for the entire duration of the period. Even when his eyes were glued resolutely to the blackboard or to a textbook, he was thinking of pretty blue eyes, shining blond hair, and a big, beautiful smile. 

Everyone had noticed. Other kids, teachers, Debbie and Vic. The kids at school watched as the formerly stoic Brian Kinney strolled the halls, a secret smile in place. Teachers wondered what had happened to make the tall, brilliant, but distant boy so much happier. Debbie and Vic each had their suspicions, but knew it had something to do with the sweet blond boy they had met the other night. 

And Michael and Emmett didn't have to suspect. They both knew, albeit with very different reactions. While Emmett had danced with joy and had given each boy a hug, Michael had glared disbelievingly at both of them and had been sulking for the last two weeks. 

But Brian didn't care. The whole world could go screw themselves as far as he was concerned. Because he'd never been happier. 

He had Justin Taylor. 

The novelty of the statement had still not worn off, and Brian hoped that it never would. Every day during lunch they were sit under a tree out in the shaded and private part of the schoolyard, secluded from the prying masses, and just be themselves. Sometimes Justin would lean against Brian's chest and sketch while Brian locked his arms around Justin's waist, buried his face in Justin's soft blond hair, and (while trying not to make it obvious) inhaled the sweet smell of Justin's shampoo. And they could sit there for a good twenty minutes and not get bored. 

Other days, when both were feeling quite sneaky and devilish, they would launch into full make-out mode and kiss for what seemed like hours. Brian, who had almost always skipped the kissing and went straight to the fucking, was amazed at how replete he would feel after several minutes of just nuzzling each other and sharing soft kisses. Justin would always giggle after a while and hastily push the brunette away, eyes darting back and forth to see if they had been watched. These public displays of affection gave each of them a thrill and just made them wonder how far they could go. 

But today both boys were lying down on the grass facing each other, sharing a bag of chips and a tall bottle of water while they talked about anything and everything. Brian felt himself sharing private thoughts, ideas, and secrets with Justin. In such a short amount of time he was finding himself opening up to the blond in ways he had never imagined. 

"…I'm so sick of Craig," Justin was saying. "He barely even acknowledges me anymore. I know I'm better off without him and I knew he's a homophobic jackass, but he did treat me right for a really long time." 

Brian nodded. "I guess it's hard to let him go when it's that way," he said. "My dad really never gave an ass about me. His buddies down at the bar were his family. That's why I've never given a shit about him either. Well, for a while I guess I must have, but that's really all over. I haven't given a shit about anyone for a really long time. Except maybe Mikey. And now you," he said, leaning over and pressing a quick kiss to the top of Justin's head. 

Justin flashed one of his mega-watt smiles. "I'm glad," he said, giggling. "Will you come over tonight?" he asked suddenly. 

Brian cocked an eyebrow. "Isn't your mom getting a little suspicious of me?" 

Justin pondered that for a second. "I don't think so. I mean…she knows what I am. Craig knows it too, even though he's been in denial every since we moved here. He thinks that getting me away from Matt will make me into a perfect little straight son. I'm sure he doesn't know about you, or he would've blown up at me already." He furrowed his forehead, then continued. "Mom…Mom might know. But she'll never say anything. She knew about Matt way before Craig did, and she never said anything to him. She never says anything to Craig, whether it's good or bad. It's like she's scared of him. Craig only found out because some assholes from school ratted us out." 

Ignoring the pangs of jealousy that had begun to course through him at the mention of Matt, Brian asked, "So how did you and Matt get together exactly?" 

Justin sighed, as if remembering something that had happened in another lifetime. "It happened really quickly, you know? We went to the same school, our families were part of the same country club crowd, we took the same classes, and yet we weren't really friends. He was just one of those cool guys, always good at sports and stuff like that, while I was more or less an artsy kid." 

Brian nodded, waiting for more. 

The blond let out a laugh. "It's really ironic, because Craig was the one who brought us together. He'd be really pissed off if he ever knew, but it's true. Craig was always on my back about perfecting my golfing skills, not that I had any to begin with. And Matt was really good, so Craig arranged for him to start helping me. And we just started talking at the club, then in school, then outside of school…" Justin was lost in a whirlwind of nostalgia. "And it just happened." 

Brian was silent. 

Justin suddenly shook his head as if to clear it and focused his attention back on Brian, as if ashamed that he'd let himself forget he was with him. "So you have to come over tonight! Promise?" 

Brian sighed. "What about your dad?" 

"He won't be back until late. He's always late. And even if he was early, he never comes into my room anymore. All he does is eat, watch a bit of television, chat with Molly, and he's out like a light." 

Brian was furious, but tried not to let it show. He was so sick of that asshole and how he didn't to spend time with his boyfriend. The brunette kept his cool and nodded. "Then I'll swing by after eight. I have to wait until Jack leaves for the bar." 

The bell rang. 

Both boys sighed and grudgingly began scrounging around for their books, papers, and anything else they may have tossed aside. They were very reluctant to leave this little haven again. 

"So does the plan sound okay?" Justin asked as he turned back to Brian. 

Brian nodded. "Yeah." He leaned over and pressed a quick but nevertheless sweet kiss to Justin's lips. "Later." 

Justin smiled at him. "Later Bri. Oh, and don't wait for me after school. I have an extra hour with Ms. Nejame after school today. She's helping me with my end of the quarter project. You don't have practice right?" 

Brian shook his head. "Coach is sick. So I guess I'll see you then." He gave the blond one last kiss and turned away. 

Justin made his way to Calculus, a bit upset that he and Brian always had to divide themselves up after lunch period. Brian had Spanish after lunch, so they never got to go there together. Usually they didn't see each other until school ended, unless Brian had practice. If he did, Justin went home alone. No one at school except Mikey knew about them and Brian wanted to keep it that way. Justin was always a little bit upset that Brian took such measures to make sure know one ever did find out, but he knew the brunette had a lot to lose if anyone were to discover the truth. But still, that didn't make him feel any better. He'd felt like shit that day he'd showed up at Brian's practice, but Brian had hurriedly ushered him away, hissing in his ear, "Later, later. Not here." 

The last two classes of the day were quite tedious to Justin. He moved as if on autopilot, copying notes, doing problems, and mostly keeping quiet. He'd settled in quite nicely into the school and he really didn't want to fuck it up. 

Justin was stuffing unneeded books and papers into his locker when he felt hot breath on the back of his neck. He smiled and turned around. 

"Brian, I said don't worry…" 

He trailed off when he saw Chris Hobbs looming above him, boring his dark eyes into Justin's blue ones.

"Taylor." 

Justin backed up a few steps, staring at Hobbs warily. "What do you want?" he asked. 

Hobbs took a few steps closer to Justin, who eventually backed up into his locker. Hobbs glared at him menacingly. 

"I'm warning you, Taylor. You say anything about what you saw the other day and you're fucked." 

Justin rolled his eyes and glared back at Hobbs. "That happened…what, three weeks ago? Why are you warning me now? You think I _want_ to tell someone about that shit? Well, believe me, I've been trying to forget it as much as I can."  

He started to turn away from Hobbs, but suddenly felt a firm, angry hand grip his arm and turn him around again. 

"You fucking swear it, you little fag." 

Justin was nearing the end of his rope. "Fuck you, Hobbs! I fucking told you I'm not interested in who you want to fuck. You could blow every single teacher here and I wouldn't give a shit. So you don't have to worry about me blabbing, because it's not worth talking about! Now would you please leave me alone?" 

Justin slammed his locker shut and dashed away, hoping against hope that Hobbs wouldn't follow him. He didn't dare sneak a backwards glance, but he couldn't hear any heavy footsteps following him, so he breathed easier and went directly to his art class.  

                                       *             *             * 

Brian walked up the front steps to Mikey's house and gave a huge sigh. Now that he was with Justin, he found it more and more tedious to visit his old friend by himself. Sure, he had come many times lately, but always with Justin. He did not like coming alone. Of course he enjoyed talking to Debbie and Vic. They were like his surrogate parents, and he knew he was forever in their debt. They both had done so much for him over the years. But Brian now found himself always longing for Justin's presence. At first, this had come as a shock to Brian, for he had always been the kind of guy who liked doing things on his own and basically being alone every day. But nowadays he found himself always thinking of Justin. It was unnerving, but at the same time it felt perfect and right. 

He rang the doorbell and was immediately bombarded by Michael, who it seemed has been waiting by the door for him to come. 

"Brian!" 

The taller boy rolled his eyes. "Yeah. I'm here." He strode past Mikey as if he owned the place, which in truth, he felt as if he sort of did. Brian headed towards the kitchen to say hello to Vic. 

"Hey Vic. Debbie at the diner?" 

Vic turned and smiled at him. He was over by the stove, stirring something in a big pot. "Hey there, Brian. How's life?" 

Brian took a seat at the table. He'd actually been thinking about a lot of things, about relationships and everything that went with them. He knew that by asking an experienced older gay man like Vic, he'd be sure to get all the right answers. Michael sat next to him, pouting, wanting to go upstairs to his room and have Brian to himself. 

"Everything's all right," Brian said. "But…I'd like to ask you something. It's kind of important, I guess." 

"All right, Brian," Vic said as he continued to stir. "Give me a few more minutes, would you? I want to give you my undivided attention, so let me finish up here and I'll be right with you." 

Brian nodded and waited patiently, ignoring Michael's attempts to start conversation. He wanted to think. Good advice was worth waiting around for, and this was one of the many reasons he loved Vic and Debbie. They acted as if his words and ideas really mattered. As if _he_ really mattered. And that was more than he could say for Jack and Joan, two of the sorriest excuses for parents he'd ever known.

Just as he'd promised, Vic finished up in a matter of minutes and took a seat next to Brian. "All right Brian. Shoot. What's been going on with you?" 

Brian scratched his head, wondering how to begin. He really wasn't very good with emotions, which was why he'd avoided them for so long, for pretty much all of his teenage years. Previous experience with sentimentality only ended up with him getting beaten unmercifully by Jack, so he was unsure of how to open up and go about asking Vic about his relationship with Justin. 

"Well uh, first of all, I guess…you know about me and Justin, right?" 

Vic smiled at Brian's uncertainty. "I certainly suspected it, Brian. The times both of you have been over here I've noticed a spark and believe me, I'm no stranger to any of that. Hell, even Sis picked up on it. She's been interrogating me, constantly asking me if you've told me anything." 

Brian smirked. Count on Debbie to be making it a point to pry into his personal life. But again, that was why he loved her. She actually cared. 

"Well, it's been going on for almost three weeks now. We started off as really good friends, and I'll admit it, at first I was just doing it so he'd get more comfortable around me and I'd get to fuck him…" 

Michael, who had been sulking at the table, suddenly pricked up his ears. 

"…But it's not like that at all anymore. I just…you know. I liked him more and more, so much that I really started wanting to be with him permanently and not just for a quick fuck. He became more important than that, you know?" Brian said earnestly, trying his best to get his point across. 

Vic nodded. "Sure." 

"And I know this totally goes against all my principles, and even three, four months ago I would have never believed it, but we…we haven't fucked yet." 

Vic's eyebrows shot up. He would have never believed it either. "Well Brian, I guess there are still some kids out there who believe in just being with your boyfriend until both of you are comfortable enough to have sex. Believe it or not, they do exist." 

Brian let out a frustrated sigh and shook his head vigorously. "No, no, I don't think that's it. I mean, Justin's not a prude or anything. I mean, we lay down next to each other and we hug and kiss and touch and everything. But it's when I start, you know, getting more excited and getting closer to…well, fucking him, he starts shaking a little and I don't know what to do about that." 

Vic scratched his chin in thought. "And this happens every time?" 

Brian nodded. "The first time, I thought he was just nervous. I mean, with blowjobs he's fine. And he's a virgin, so I think that might be a big factor, but still. I'm not sure if I should bring it up and well, talk about it. I mean, how do you say ' It's been great, but why aren't you putting out? '" 

Vic leaned in closer and said to Brian in an undertone, so that both Michael and Brian had to lean in as well to catch what he was saying, "In this case Brian, you're just going to have to ask him about it. You can't get out of it. If you really do care about him, you're both going to have to talk about how you feel. The key to a good relationship is good communication. It's not the only key, but it's a damn good one. Share whatever's worrying you. That way you're never going to have to agonize constantly, like you're doing now. You'll always be aware of everything that's going on." 

Brian furrowed his forehead. "So I should just ask him? Just go ahead and tell him what I'm thinking and ask him what he's thinking?" 

Vic smiled and nodded. "Exactly."  

Brian thought about it. It seemed like a good idea. It should have been obvious really, but hearing it from Vic always gave him more confidence. Vic had a way of putting it straight, no bullshit. Whenever Brian thought about saying something, it always came out sounding like shit, whether hurtful or lesbianic or whatever.

Vic grinned. "But it sounds like you really care about this kid, Brian. Otherwise you wouldn't be worrying about whether or not you're going to hurt him or not."

Brian tried to glare, but couldn't manage it very well, not when he thought about Justin. "Maybe," he said. Vic was right, but he still wasn't comfortable about the whole world knowing that. 

Vic gave him another smile, ruffled his hair gently, and went over to the kitchen counter once again to start on the salad. 

Sighing once more and giving in to Mikey's pout, Brian finally trudged up to his friend's room. He was really getting bored of this. 

The tall brunette took his usual seat atop of Michael's old desk and lit a cigarette, lost in his own thoughts. He winced when Michael, who had sat directly across from Brian with his arms crossed in front of him, finally began his tirade. 

"I can't believe you Brian. Why are you pretending to be Boy Wonder's boyfriend? You're just going to get tired of him and then we'll have a stalker on our hands. And I don't want us to have to deal with that." 

Brian coolly looked at Michael in the eye and exhaled the smoke in a long stream. "First of all Mikey, I am not pretending to be Justin's boyfriend, I fucking _am_ Justin's boyfriend. And _we_ are not going to have a stalker on _our_ hands, because there isn't a we or our or us. I'm fucking sick of you being a bastard to him. I want you and him to get along, Mikey. I'm going to be with Justin and that means you're going to have to work on not being an asshole to him. Because so far you _are_ being an asshole. And that's my job, remember?" 

"Briaannn," Mikey wailed. "Don't talk to your best friend like that. And Justin isn't that special. When it comes down to it, what is he really? Just a little blond blessed with a big ass. You could do so much better, Brian, don't you see that?" 

"You're wrong Mikey," Brian said calmly. "He is special. You're right, he's blond and he has a great ass, but that doesn't define him. Justin…he's so much better than I am, and I'm fucking lucky to have him. And I know I've been an asshole up till now, turning tricks and whatever, but maybe I was just waiting for the right person to come along. And now he has. So if you can't understand that, then you can go fuck yourself. And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going next door and I'm going to wait for my little blond, big-assed, and incredibly talented and special boyfriend." 

And with that, Brian exited Mikey's room, leaving his friend open-mouthed and steaming.                     

                                       *             *             * 

The end of the extra hour with his teacher was up and Justin stared at his canvas in awe. For weeks he'd been toiling every day, trying as hard as he could to make some sense of the swirling ideas and colors in his head. But whenever he tried to express himself on the canvas, his work had looked so juvenile and stupid. He'd started to get more and more anguished. Justin was a perfectionist when it came to schoolwork, something Brian had been quick to pick up on and which prompted him to say smugly, "I have one of the rarest creatures in existence as my boyfriend. I have a smart blond." This usually led to Justin swatting him lightly across the arm or something similar. 

But Brian was right. Justin tried to be the best student he could be and he was super-competitive when it came to academics. He had a near perfect GPA, high SAT scores (1500, but Justin didn't brag about that…well, not much, anyway), and more AP classes on his transcript than he could count. So he felt tormented that he couldn't do one final kick-ass project for his art class, especially when art was what he really excelled in. But today he knew. This was it. 

Justin hurriedly thanked Ms. Nejame, packed up his belongings and with the assurance of his teacher that the piece would be given good protection, fled the room. 

He was going home to get ready for his Brian.


	9. A Good Kind of Drowning

  
Author's notes: Hey everyone! I present another piece of this little tale of mine. I just want to thank everyone for their wonderful reviews. They make me smile so much! This chapter has a lot of angst, so I'm just warning you now. Love you all!   


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Chapter 9: A Good Kind of Drowning

Brian had sneaked into Justin's room by wriggling through the tiny window and was now impatiently waiting for his little blond. He knew that he had come over way earlier than they'd agreed on, but he also knew that Justin should be coming home sometime soon. He only had one hour with Ms. Nejame today. Brian had gone with him a few times before, quietly finishing up some homework of his own while Justin worked on his piece, but Ms. Nejame had soon banned Brian from the art room, claiming that he distracted Justin too much. She was a really nice woman, definitely a teacher worth knowing, but she was very serious about art and her students, particularly those who had a lot of potential like Justin. 

Standing up and walking over to Justin's desk, Brian began to look at all the pictures the blond had stuck into the edges of the mirror above. There was a cute little photo of a summer vacation at Disney. As Brian looked at it more closely, he began to feel sorry for the stranger asked to take the picture. Baby Molly's hands were balled up into tiny fists as she stared up at the camera, her face red and blotchy with anger and recent tears. Justin had his arms crossed firmly across his chest, looking no older than six, sticking his chin out in indignation and glaring at the camera. Jennifer looked frazzled and weary, while Craig looked as if he would rather be anywhere else. 

Oh yeah, definitely the happiest place on earth. 

Brian looked at the other pictures, which appeared to be at least a little cheerier than the Disney photo. There was a picture of Molly and Justin with their arms around each other, perhaps a couple of years ago, and a picture of Justin at about eight with a Spelling Bee trophy, looking ecstatic. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Brian saw a drawer in the little desk slightly open. He could just catch a glimpse of a small box labeled "St. James." 

The tall brunette found himself overwhelmed with curiosity. Justin rarely spoke of his previous school, and he wanted to know what had been important enough for Justin to keep. 

Brian removed the box from its hiding place and with slight trepidation, lifted the lid. The first thing he saw was a stack of more photos. Brian started flipping through them. Most of them were pictures of Justin wrapped around Matt, smiling brightly at the camera while Matt stared at the blond adoringly.  

Feeling slightly nauseated, Brian quickly set these pictures aside. It still didn't make sense to him. Mark had seemed to love Justin so much that night at Babylon. Brian prided himself in his perception skills, and he knew he could not have been mistaken. What could have changed so quickly, in a matter of hours? Justin hadn't said much about the breakup, but Brian couldn't put his finger on whatever was wrong. Something was up. 

Now Brian focused on very different pictures. In one, a locker was smoldering, emitting smoke, and he could make out the word "FAGGOT" scrawled on the surface. Brian felt a pang in his chest, almost certain that this was Justin's locker, and probably evidence of abuse the blond had tolerated at his old school. Not that this school was much better, with Chris Hobbs and the rest of the football team constantly picking on other people. 

Brian wondered if Matt, who was supposedly quite a popular guy at St. James, had ever bothered to protect Justin from these kinds of malicious crimes. He was some boyfriend if he didn't. 

There were the drawings of Matt he'd seen fall out of Justin's folder a few weeks ago when that asshole Hobbs got a hold of it. He didn't bother giving them a passing glance, feeling very confident that he was better looking. Brian spotted a small movie ticket stub at the bottom of the box, tucked away into a corner. Probably the first movie he and Matt had gone to see together. He knew what a sentimental little sap his Justin was. And that was exactly what he was, _his_ Justin. Not Matt's. Not any longer, anyway. 

Hearing footsteps on the stairs, Brian hastily stuffed the pictures and drawings back into the box and into the drawer. His heart thumping wildly, he prayed it wasn't Molly or Jennifer, though he liked them both all right. Still, it would be difficult to explain what he was doing in Justin's room alone.

The brunette smiled in relief as Justin came in, looking absolutely cheery and optimistic. The blond boy stopped in his tracks, surprised to see Brian there, but he quickly beamed again. "You're early." 

_God, he is fucking gorgeous_ , Brian thought as he took in the smaller boy's appearance. He looked so…so damn happy and his smile lit up his entire face. His blue eyes sparkled and Brian felt like he could just ravish him on the spot. 

Brian stepped forward and pulled Justin into his arms, giving him a quick squeeze and soft kiss before leading them both over to the bed and plopping down. 

Justin giggled. "Miss me already, did ya?" 

Brian smirked. "Maybe." He reached up and pushed back the blond hair falling into Justin's eyes. "What can I say, Spanish and music are the shit without you in there to distract me. And I never thought I'd say it, but the drive back home is fucking boring without your babbling, twat." 

Justin gave Brian a sneaky grin. "You sooo care about me. You sooo love me," he sing-songed, giving Brian a playful dig in the ribs with his elbow. 

"Twat," Brian growled again, leaning in and giving Justin a hard little nip on the neck. 

Justin shrieked with laugher and batted Brian away. "Stop it! Stop being so bitey! Justin doesn't like bites!" 

"Oh, Justin does," Brian said, pushing Justin back onto the bed and continuing to attack his neck. He suddenly remembered Vic's warning to take it slow with Justin and to talk to him before acting on rash impulses, so even though it pained him to do so, he pulled him mouth away from the soft white flesh and instead propped himself up on his elbow and watched Justin closely. "So how was the extra hour? Productive, I hope?" 

Justin smiled at him, his heart settling down after it had started beating rapidly when Brian pushed him onto the bed, though he was unsure if it was relief he was feeling or slight disappointment. "It was really good, actually. I started on the idea today in class as you know, and I thought it was definitely a start. But when I picked it up this afternoon and started working on it again…at the end of the hour…Brian, I had no idea I had that in me. No idea. And I'm so proud of it. Ms. Nejame is too. She's going to enter it into a school contest this week. All the art teachers and art students are going to vote for the best one, and that one gets shown at that cool gallery downtown!" 

"Do I get to vote?" Brian asked, smiling down at Justin and playing with a golden strand of hair. 

Justin laughed. "Of course not Bri, you're not one of the art crowd. You're a jock!" 

Brian narrowed his eyes. "I don't care, I'm still voting. And who says I'm a jock, huh? Jocks are a bunch of dumb assholes. I'm up there with the best of the brains, including you." 

Justin giggled. "Maybe so, but I still beat your ass on the SATs." 

Brian growled at him. Truth was, Brian has beaten Justin by twenty points, but he wasn't going to tell Justin that. Not when having the top SATs in the entire senior class made him so happy. "Shut up, twat." 

Justin, who was still lying down and looking up at Brian, started to tug on Brian's arm. "Lie down with me, Brian." 

Brian hesitated, but Justin looked sure of himself, so he lay down next to him like the smaller boy told him to. Justin turned and looked into Brian's eyes, and Brian looked back into his. It was like drowning in a sea of blue, but a good kind of drowning. 

Justin hesitated; biting his lip, then leaned close to Brian and pressed a soft kiss to the brunette's lips. He searched Brian's eyes with his own and seemed to find reassurance in them. The blond swallowed hard and reached up and stroked Brian's cheek. 

"Brian," he started. "I have to tell you something. It's something very private and I don't really tell anyone about this, but I want to tell you. I never even told Matt. It's something that pretty much remains in my family, but even they never speak of it anymore. But I know you've been so patient, and you deserve an explanation." 

Brian turned his head a bit and kissed Justin's palm lightly. "If this had to do with sex or anything Justin, I will never pressure you. Never. You don't have to…to make up for what you think or how you feel or…" 

Justin silenced Brian with another kiss. "Just let me talk, okay? Please?" 

Brian nodded. 

Nervously, Justin looked down, and then looked back up. He seemed to draw strength from the kindness and love in Brian's eyes, so he started by saying, "I've always been very trusting Brian. You know that." 

Brian nodded again and smiled. "It's one of the reasons why you're so special, Justin. It's a great quality and I'm proud of you." 

Justin smiled back at Brian. "I'm glad you think so, Brian. But it's been one of my downfalls, really. You've seen it yourself…with Matt. I never even saw _that_ coming. But when I was younger, I was really even more trusting than I am now." 

The taller boy waited for more. 

The blond took a deep breath and continued. "When I was nine, my parents had a two-week second honeymoon. They dropped me off with my bachelor uncle, who was a real nice guy. They decided to leave Molly with my grandmother, because my mom didn't trust my uncle to handle her, since she was in her 'terrible twos' stage." He sighed. "I wish every day that I'd been dropped off with her, too." 

Brian, feeling more apprehensive by the minute, grasped Justin's smaller hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. 

Justin exhaled. "Craig's brother Rick let me do whatever I wanted. I could stay up until after midnight, he let me have ice cream for dinner, and he would let me draw in peace. That was the best thing, because he was so unlike Craig in that respect. Craig always grabbed my sketchbook and tossed it aside and made me go outside and play some football." He snorted contemptuously. "But Rick understood me. He understood me more than my own parents did." Now Justin looked melancholy. "But now I know that he only did that to get close to me, to earn my trust. And he got it." 

By this time, Brian wasn't sure if he wanted to hear anymore. Anything that could bring this sadness into Justin's voice and put out the light in his big blue eyes had to be terrible. 

"It started out real slowly. Rick was a photographer, and he loved to take pictures of things. One day he started to take pictures of me. Me running around, sketching, eating, doing whatever, you know? And I didn't mind. I've always been sort of photogenic.

"Then another day when I was getting out of my shower, he sat me down on his bed and took pictures or me sitting there in my bathrobe. After a few shots of that, he said something else." 

##  _Nine Years Ago_

_Rick reached up and scratched the stubble on his chin, thinking hard. He was tall, taller than Craig, an attractive man with dark eyes and hair. He was younger than his brother by almost ten years. "These are great, Justin," he said, smiling at the pretty little blond boy grinning at him from the bed. "But you know what? Slip that bathrobe down and wrap it around your waist."_

_Justin smiled again and did as he was told. "Like this?" he asked, eagerly looking up at Rick for his approval._

_Rick gave the boy a reassuring and approving nod. "Just like that." He snapped a couple of more pictures._

_Justin shook his head and laughed. "All the bright flashes are making my eyes weird," he giggled._

_Rick let out a sigh and despondently slid into an armchair. "It's just not working."  His tone sobered the boy immediately and he began to look worried._

_"What do you mean?" he asked. As a fellow artist, he understood the importance of making your work the best it could be, and how it felt when you couldn't achieve that._

_Rick sighed again. "It's just…all the same, you know what I'm saying kid? I can't get anything creative out of this."_

_Justin pouted, his lips turning down in a frown. "What else can I do, Rick? I'll do anything to help you. Really. Whatever it takes."_

_Rick perked up at that. "Hmm…maybe…no, never mind."_

_Eyes wide, Justin jumped up from his spot on the bed and ran over to Rick, still holding the bathrobe. "What is it? I'll help! I promise I'll help!"_

_Looking up into the boy's shining and hopeful eyes, Rick smiled. He had the boy now. "Go over by the bed again." Justin hastily acquiesced.  "Drop the bathrobe."_

_Justin hesitated for a split second. "But…what are you going to do?"_

_Rick lowered his camera, looking upset. "Have you ever gone to real art galleries and museums, Justin?"_

_The boy nodded eagerly. "With my mom."_

_"Then you know that real artists sometimes use naked objects. I have this vision. I want a large collection of photos and maybe I can make it into a series. But I can get someone else to do it, Justin, it's all right. I just wanted to share this with another real little artist. Real artists would jump at this chance. But if you don't want to…"_

_Justin had heard enough. "I'll do it Rick, I'll do it! I will!"_

_Rick shook his head. "It's fine Justin, I'll just put this away."_

_"No!" Justin said again. "I will do it! See?" And the boy dropped his bathrobe to the floor._

_Rick raised an eyebrow. "You sure?"_

_"I'm sure!" Justin said. "Now take the pictures."_

_Feeling himself harden slightly, Rick snapped dozens and dozens of pictures, occasionally zooming in, coaching Justin, moving him into different poses and positions. After using up two rolls, he stopped and went over to Justin, stroking the blond hair. "You did great," he said to the boy. "I think I've got what I wanted."_

_Justin beamed. "I'm glad!" he said. "I really am a real artist, aren't I?"_

_Rick smiled, but it was a strange smile. He cupped Justin's small chin in one large calloused hand and leaned in to press a kiss to the soft little cheek, dangerously close to the boy's plump mouth. "You really are," he whispered._

##  _Back to present_

Justin shivered, and Brian pulled him into his arms. "He did it every day for the rest of the two weeks," he said softly. "He knew me so well, Brian. He knew exactly how to get to me and how to use me to get me to do what he wanted. And each day the positions he made me get in were more and more sexual, but I wanted to prove myself to the man I admired so much, to prove that I was a _real_ artist. And I didn't mind, really. I liked the attention, craved it even. It seemed to me that Molly was taking up all my parents' time, and now somebody finally wanted to spend time with me.

"He touched me sometimes, and deep down I think I knew it was wrong, but I let him. He was my idol, in a way. He never had sex with me, but our relationship was sort of sexual nonetheless. At the end of the two weeks he told me that this was a secret of 'artists' and that nobody would understand it but us. He made it seem so important, so mysterious, so cool, you know? And I was determined to keep it between us. He really did make me believe that in the crap he was telling me."   

Brian felt enraged and sad at the same time. He didn't understand how somebody could take advantage of such a sweet, trusting boy. 

Justin swallowed hard. "I let it slip to my mom about two months later. She freaked and called the police. They searched his house and found the photos under his bed, some of them come-stained." 

Brian felt like he was about to throw up. 

"And Rick got busted for child pornography. He's got fifteen years and had to register as a sex offender. And…that's basically it. Since then, Mom has kept it hushed up. Some of our extended family doesn't even know. They know Rick's in prison on a child porn charge of course, but some of them don't know that the pictures were of me." 

Justin's eyes filled with tears now that he had finished. "Do you still love me?" 

Brian's heart had finally reached its breaking point. "Justin, I promise you, nothing like that will ever break us apart. I do…love you." The words seemed to get stuck in Brian's throat. He had said them to Mikey, but it was harder to say it to Justin for some reason. "You are perfect. Now that I know that, it makes me respect you and want to protect you all the more." 

More tears escaped from the blond's eyes. "I wasn't sure if I should tell you. But I knew I had to. I know you get frustrated with me. But don't worry Bri. I think…I know that I want you to be my first. And I want it to happen very soon." 

Brian suddenly felt his mouth get dry, which was weird because with all the fucking he had done in his life, nothing like this should faze him. But just hearing his blond saying that to him sent shivers up his spine and his pants got a hell of a lot tighter. He didn't know what to say, so he just pulled Justin closer into his body and closed his eyes. "Until you're sure you're ready," he whispered softly. "Never before that. Never do something you're not comfortable doing because you think I want it. All right?" 

Justin nodded against Brian's chest. "Okay," he mumbled softly. 

Brian stroked Justin's cheek with the back of his hand, then leaned in for a kiss. 

"Justin!" A patter of footsteps began coming up the stairs. 

"Shit!" 

Justin and Brian abruptly broke apart and fled to different areas of the room, with Justin occupying the closest chair and Brian staying on the bed. While Justin leaned back and appeared to be flipping through an art magazine, Brian seized Justin's biology textbook and pretended to be looking at it as well. 

Molly burst into the room and shrieked, "Some girl in my class said that her older brother Chris is ready to kill you! I told her to shut up and I…" Molly's eyes widened and her mouth opened slightly as she caught sight of Brian, looking as always, very cool and intimidating to a ten-year-old girl like herself. Her cheeks reddened and she stammered. "H-Hello. I didn't know you were here." 

Brian smiled at her. He'd talked to the girl twice before. Well, he talked and she stuttered. She was just a kid, but Brian liked that he had such a big impact on her. It did wonders for his ego. "Hi Molly," he said smoothly. "Chris is an asshole and he isn't going to do a thing to Justin, so don't listen to any Hobbs offspring if you can help it." 

"Okay," Molly said breathlessly as she began to back out of Justin's room. "I-I just wanted to let him know. I-I'll be going now." And the girl took off. 

Justin, who had been calmly "reading" his art magazine the whole time, finally looked up at Brian and sighed, exasperated. "God, Brian." 

"What?" Brian protested, cocking an eyebrow. 

Justin covered his face with his hands and let out a small laugh. "Why do you make everyone love you?" 

Brian smirked his trademark smirk. "I don't try to make them love me, it just happens." He went over and sat on Justin's desk and looked down at him. He reached for Justin's chin and tilted his face up, feeling lost in his blue eyes. "I'm drowning in the blue sea," he murmured. 

Justin smiled. "Are you?" 

Brian nodded. "But it's a good kind of drowning."


	10. Good Night

  
Author's notes:

This is by far my longest chapter ever. (Almost 17 pages on Word) A lot of plot! Thank you to those who have reviewed and please review again! Hugs to all and I love you! xoxoxo Izzy

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"Line up and vote here!" Ms. Nejame called out to the impatiently waiting students. She fluttered up and down the line, stuffing ballot slips into the students' hands. "Vote honestly!" she said, glaring at them. "The names are not below the paintings, so voting for friends is impossible! Vote for what you think is the best painting!"

Brian wasn't paying much attention, standing in line with Michael, both glad to be getting out of the utter boredom that was study hall even for ten minutes. Usually during study hall Michael drew pictures of Captain Astro while Brian fantasized about fucking tricks. Nowadays though, Brian's fantasies only starred one little blue-eyed blond with a perfect bubble butt.

The line was actually quite long, which was surprising to both boys, as this school almost always put all its emphasis on its athletics. Apparently there were more artists in the school than people believed. Brian had never really gotten to know these kids; however, he knew some of them by sight but not by name, and some of them by name buy not by sight. Justin often talked about his art classmates and what pieces they were currently working on. 

"Brian," Michael pouted, hand tugging at Brian's sleeve. "We're not art students. They're not going to let us vote. So what's the point?" 

Brian glowered at him, shaking his arm loose from Michael's clinging grasp. "How the fuck are they supposed to know that, Mikey?" he said. "They don't know who's an art student and who isn't." 

Michael wasn't going to give up. "That art lady knows who is and who isn't in her classes. Neither one of us has ever taken an art class." He really didn't know if the teacher would let them vote, there was a chance that she might, but Michael simply didn't want Justin to get votes that would give him the win. If Justin got any more successful, Brian would almost certainly never find his way to Michael. If Brian realized that his so-called "boyfriend" wasn't much good after all, he would leave him far behind and Michael would be waiting. 

Brian smirked at Michael's stupidity and rolled his eyes. "She knows me," he said confidently. "I know she'll let us vote. Don't worry about it." 

And Brian was right. Brian was always right, Michael thought. They had gotten to the front of the line and Ms. Nejame, who had shooed some non-art students away a few minutes ago, had winked merrily at both of them and handed them a pair of slips. 

Brian and Michael took a few steps back and looked at the five best paintings of the A.P. Studio Art class. 

Brian may not have been an artist, but he was dating one, and that meant he definitely had some sort of appreciation for art and its beauty. Most people thought he was a levelheaded ad exec-in-training, but the fact was that the tall brunette was far more creative than he let on, even to himself. 

So when he looked at the paintings, he was definitely impressed. But he felt a bit uncomfortable, because the paintings were not labeled with the artists' names. Brian found himself panicking slightly because he couldn't be sure which one was Justin's. They were all good, and he wasn't sure which one was his boyfriend's. The little blond had not told him what his painting looked like, and Brian in his haste had forgotten to ask him.

Brian looked at each of the paintings. The quality of the drawing was quite good of course, but the longer Brian looked at them, the more disdainful he grew. One was attempting to make a political statement. Fire, guns, and little globs of different colors that Brian knew were supposed to be people of all races, blah blah blah. He knew that his little blond wouldn't be too obvious. His paintings were not right out there. Justin usually favored abstract paintings. He could do sketches and portraits very well (Brian had seen those sketches of Matt, which were now, to his pleasure, replaced by his own), but he didn't particularly enjoy doing them for large paintings. 

The others were, in Brian's opinion, more than a little pretentious as well. They weren't all depicting concrete images, but they just weren't right. They were lacking real emotion. The paintings looked like a mess of colors on paper, but they didn't add up to anything. 

But the one at the far right was…just beautiful. Brian looked deep into himself and knew that this was it. He would bet anything, anything. This was Justin's. It had to be. There was so much beauty in it. Sure, Brian knew that he had seen some of Justin's work earlier, but he knew that this was different. This had Justin's style, but it was a step further, a step closer to the magnificent artist the boy was destined to become. 

The outlines of two hands, "fingers" entwining. The funny thing was that they were not obviously hands. At a passing glance, they looked like streaks of color, but that was not so. Justin had worked with the background first, dabbling color on the back and leaving rough negative space, space that Brian knew, just knew in his heart, was supposed to be his and Justin's hands. The deep, deep background showed swirls of dull color, but the middle of the painting was bright, their hands. Their hearts. _Them_. The dark, the troubles could not get them. Not when they were together, at least. 

The brunette didn't hesitate a moment longer, he checked "Box 5" on the slip and stuffed it into the box. He turned to Michael, who he saw had just chosen Box 1. 

"You wouldn't know real art if it bit you in the fucking ass," Brian drawled. Out of the corner of his eye he made sure that Ms. Nejame was busy handing out slips to the students behind them, and snatched the paper out of Michael's hands. Ignoring the smaller boy's protests, he erased the check on Box 1 and hastily changed it to Box 5. He then put it in the box and left, Michael at his heels. 

"Briiiaaan," Michael whined. "The first painting was better! The fifth painting didn't even make sense! What the hell is it supposed to be, anyway? I couldn't see anything that great!" The small brunette was extremely put out. His brilliant plan had failed. He'd waited to see which box Brian picked before choosing his own, having no idea which one was Justin's. But it hadn't worked. 

"Of course you didn't see anything," Brian muttered under his breath. "Whatever," he said a little louder, intent on walking back to study hall without saying another word to Michael, shaking his head slightly at, again, Michael's stupidity.

Even though Brian acted confident, he still couldn't shake the feeling that maybe he had chosen wrong. He didn't think he had, he knew his blond's work, but he had to be sure. He impatiently waited for lunch period, certain but still eager to find out if he had chosen right.

Finally lunch hour rolled around, and Brian nearly fled to their customary lunch spot. Michael had begged to join them a few times in the past, but Brian had put his foot down each time. Eventually poor Mikey had given up. He let Michael tag around most of the time, but he would not let him have lunch with him and his blond. Lunchtime was Brian and Justin time, and he wasn't going to let anything get in the way of that. He still had trouble admitting to himself; however, that there _was_ Brian and Justin time. 

The small blond boy was already waiting for Brian, propped against their tree and wolfing down his sandwich. The sight of the blond immediately brightened him up. Justin smiled up at Brian and the brunette's heart jumped in his chest. Brian sat down next to him and gave him a soft kiss. "Hey," he said huskily. He got a whiff of Justin's own, unique, sweet scent and his cock jumped in his pants. Willing it to calm down, he realized that he hadn't tricked in almost three weeks; therefore, he hadn't had sex in almost three weeks. He could hardly believe it. Now that he thought about it, he was definitely feeling more than a little frustrated. Justin's lips were made for kissing, his ass made for fucking, and it was taking a lot out of the taller boy to keep his hands off of his little blond. 

"Hey," Justin replied, noting Brian's hardness, but he was in the mood to tease, so he pulled Brian close to him. "How has your day been? Did it get better after Bio?" 

"Yeah," Brian answered, scowling. The bastard Clarke had given him detention again. Something about forgetting homework. And the fact that Brian rolled his eyes when asked about it didn't help matters, either. "That fucker is always out to get me. How do you do it, Sunshine? The asshole acts scared of you. He didn't even say anything to you when you didn't do your homework two nights in a row. Slacking, are we?" 

Justin, who had tensed at the mention of Clarke's attitude towards him, welcomed the chance to change the subject. "Craig and I keep fighting," he said. "I get so fucking exhausted reaming it out with him that I just go to sleep." This wasn't exactly true, Craig hadn't spoken much to him since their big argument the night he met the Novotny family. Truth was, Clarke _did_ treat him differently. He looked nervous, as if he expected Justin to go to the principal the minute he became displeased. Justin didn't know why he wasn't telling Brian about Clarke. He supposed he just wanted that day to go away. He didn't want to bring it all up again. But he did hate lying to his Brian. 

Brian narrowed his eyebrows. "That asshole Craig is going to get his balls served to him if he keeps on fucking with you," he growled. 

Justin smiled at Brian's protectiveness. 

"Oh yeah, I've been meaning to ask you," Brian started, shaking away all thoughts of the fucker. "I voted for the best painting today. Which one was yours? It was the one all the way on the right, wasn't it?" 

Justin beamed a Sunshine smile right at Brian, immediately warming the taller boy from head to cock. "Yep!" he said happily. "You knew which one." 

Brian smiled. "Of course," he said. "I know your style, don't I? I only sat with you every day for a whole damn week, didn't I?" 

Justin nodded his appreciation, blue eyes sparkling in utter delight, yet looking anxious for Brian's opinion. "You did. I'm surprised Ms. Nejame let you vote in the first place! Did you like the painting?"

The brunette smiled at him affectionately, running the soft blond strands through his fingers. "You are amazing, Sunshine. Did I ever tell you that?" 

The blond beamed. "You might have mentioned it, but I do like hearing it." He sighed. "I hope I win. I really do. A lot of people have been talking about Grace Riley's political painting…" 

Brian let out a huge snort. "That fucking trash? I wasn't impressed. I guess the bitch had to do something to get more votes. I bet you she doesn't give a shit about politics, but she just wanted to get the fucking anti-government kids in on it. Grace Riley can go fuck herself." 

Justin gave him a reprimanding look. "Brian…" he warned. "She's just trying to be the best artist she can be." 

Brian rolled his eyes. "So are you, but I don't see you toting some trash like that. And you're trying to be the best homosexual you can be, too! Needless to say, you're much better at the finding yourself shit."

Justin gave him a big kiss. "Brian, you are the best." 

"I know," Brian said, tongue-in-cheek. "And I pick the best. And that's why you're going to fucking win."  

Before Brian knew it, the lunch hour had ended and he and Justin, as was customary, had to split. 

It was during the last class of the day that the announcement came over the loudspeaker. Justin Taylor's "Hands Over Troubled Water" had won in a landslide. 

*          *             *

To celebrate, Brian drove Justin over to the Liberty Diner to get a few of those lemon bars his blond loved so much. Michael tagged along of course, as unwilling to be left behind as ever. He had heard Brian propose the idea to Justin by the blond's locker at the end of the day, and Michael had butted in saying that if they were going to go over there anyway, there was no use for the small brunette to have to endure the hour-long bus ride to Liberty Avenue. A little frustrated, Brian agreed.  

The three boys walked into the diner. The novelty of Liberty Avenue had not worn off yet for Justin, and he'd only been to the diner once before. Since their disastrous visit to Babylon, he and Brian had come by only once. Usually they visited Deb and Vic at their home, since it was right next door to Justin. 

"Sunshine and Brian Kinney!" Debbie exclaimed, hurrying forward and ushering the boys into the nearest booth. "Michael, you're home earlier," she noted. "What brings you boys here?" 

Brian laughed. "Sunshine will tell you." 

"Oh Deb!" Justin said happily. "My end-of-the-quarter painting for art class won over four others! It's going to be featured in a gallery next week. The nice one two streets over from Liberty!" 

Deb beamed and swooped down and placed a big wet smack on Justin's cheek. "Oh Sunshine, that is just so fucking great!" she smiled. "I can't believe it. My Sunshine, showing up all those assholes at the school!" 

Justin smiled wider. "You have to come, Deb. Ms. Nejame said I could invite you. You and Vic and Michael, if they want to come. I think my mom and sister would like to go, too. Dad…" Justin's face darkened, like a passing cloud over the sun. "I'm not sure about him. But whatever. You guys have to come!" 

Deb grinned. "We'll be there, Sunshine. All three of us." 

Justin was ecstatic. "That's great! Oh, I have to call Emmett, too. Do you think he'd come, Brian?" 

"Emmett?" Deb butted it. "Oh, he'll come, don't worry about that, sweetheart. In fact, why don't you run down to Torso a little later and ask him? I think he's working until six."

Justin nodded. "All right." He sighed happily. "I just can't believe it, you know? I worked so hard and it paid off!" 

"What does the painting look like?" Debbie asked, curious. 

Justin's eyes glazed over and he gave Brian a sweet, lazy smile. "It's one of my best pieces ever," he said. "I won't say too much about it, because I want to know if you can see what the meaning behind it is. It's an abstract painting. I can't wait for you all to see it." 

Debbie smiled and ruffled the boy's blond hair. "You are just adorable, do you know that?" she asked. "Now, there are plenty of other queers waiting for their food, so what can I get ya?" She snapped her gum loudly.  

"Lemon bars!" Justin said delightedly. "As many…" Justin peeked into his wallet. "…As many as five dollars can buy!" 

Debbie laughed. "Fuck that!" she said. "They're on the house, Sunshine. I'll be right back." 

The blond grinned at Deb and nodded his thanks. Deb bustled off to get the lemon bars and to tend to the other dining customers. 

Brian wrapped an arm around Justin's slim shoulders and pulled him close to his side. He noticed that his blond was looking all around him, taking in the other twinks, the bears, the swishy queens, and the lesbians, deep in thought. "Penny for your thoughts, Sunshine." 

Michael scowled. 

"Oh, I was just thinking about how I want to be a part of this," Justin said thoughtfully. "This world is my world really, but I'm still not really involved in it. I want to be, though. I want to know what it's like to be on Liberty Avenue all the time." 

Brian smirked. "Liberty Avenue is a home," he said. "At least to me. Home isn't Jack and Joan's house. Home isn't school. Home is the soccer field. Home is Debbie's house. Home is Liberty Avenue. But mostly, home is you." He leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to Justin's cheek. 

Justin flashed a Sunshine smile at Brian. "Brian Kinney, that was uncharacteristically romantic." 

Brian growled, "Ridiculously romantic, you mean. Shut it, twat. Don't tell anyone I said that. It was a moment of sap that managed to get out of me." 

Justin wasn't fooled. "I'm so on to you, Brian. You sooooo love me." 

Michael scowled deeper. 

Debbie arrived with the platter of lemon bars, snapping her gum even louder. "Lemon bars on the house, boys! Enjoy." 

She made to leave, but suddenly Justin asked, "Deb?" 

Debbie turned around to look at Justin. "What is it Sunshine?" she asked. "Need some advice on how to handle this asshole's mood swings?" she winked at Brian, who glowered at her. 

"Fuck that, Deb," Brian said. He groaned in pain when he got a slap on the head as a reward.

"No, nothing like that," Justin said. "I just wanted to know if there was possibly a job for me here at the diner." 

"Here?" Brian and Debbie asked together. 

Debbie was the first to compose herself. "Of course," she said. "We can always use a twink like you on weekends. After school too, if you'd like. Whatever days you can." 

Justin nodded. "Of course. Do you think I can get good money?" 

Deb laughed. "With that little bubble butt? You'll be the one everyone wants to fuck, Sunshine! You're still fresh meat, you know. I know you'll get HUGE tips. I'm telling you, every customer will want to plow your tight little…" 

"Ma!" Michael protested, pained. 

"Hell yeah!" A big bear shouted from the next booth. 

"Fuck off!" Brian shot back, pulling Justin even closer to his side. 

Justin smiled wider. 

*          *             *

Justin took a deep breath and gave himself one more glance in the mirror. He grabbed his coat and headed downstairs and into the living room where his boyfriend was waiting. 

"Brian? What do you think?" he asked hopefully. 

The brunette, dressed impeccably in dark suit and with his chestnut brown hair perfectly styled, put down the magazine he had been flipping through while he waited and turned to look at the smaller boy. 

He couldn't help it, his jaw dropped immediately. His blond looked simply beautiful; fuck it all if that was lesbianic, it was the truth. His gold hair shone under the bright lights of the Taylors' living room. He was beaming a Sunshine smile at Brian and his eyes glowed. He was also dressed in a nice suit. 

Brian wolf-whistled. "You'll be the belle of the ball," he said lustily, his hazel eyes roaming the boy's lithe body. 

Justin smiled and turned once. "Really? Do you think I look like a professional artist?" 

Brian nodded. "The next Andy Warhol," he said proudly, still leering. "Only much more fuckable." 

Just then, Jennifer bustled into the room. Immediately, Brian took the longing out of his expression and left it at approving. He turned his attention to the woman. She looked very pretty herself in a Dolce dress and high heels. (Brian was quite the little label queen.)

"You look great Mom!" Justin said proudly. "That dress is nice." 

Jennifer beamed at her son. "Thank you sweetie," she said, giving her son a kiss on the cheek. "And you, you look so handsome and grown-up! My little boy!" She gave Justin one last kiss and turned to Brian. "May I ask your opinion, Brian?" 

Brian gave her another one of his approving nods. She really did look quite nice. "You look nice," he said. "I'd fu—feature you in a magazine, Mrs. Taylor," he corrected. 

Justin gave him a look that quite plainly said, " _Nice save_." 

Jennifer gave Brian a pleased smile. "You're so kind," she said. She snatched up her coat and small purse. "Are you boys ready?" 

Both boys nodded and grabbed their coats. 

"Oh dear, hold on, where's Molly? Molly!" Jennifer called up the stairs. "We're going! We're going now!" 

After a moment, Molly came down the steps and into the living room, looking splendid herself in a pretty blue dress. She gave Brian a sweet, shy smile. "Hi Brian," she gushed. 

Justin raised an eyebrow. 

Brian smiled back at the girl. "Molly, you look lovely. Every boy there will be so jealous of me," Brian said. Like a true gentleman, he offered Molly his arm to escort her out of the house. 

Molly was seized with a fit of giggles, immediately making a mental note to tell all her friends tomorrow afternoon about her nightly excursion with this gorgeous high-school boy. Blushing hard but smiling brightly, she took Brian's arm. 

They all loaded up into one of the Taylors' cars, with Molly buckling herself into the passenger seat alongside her mother and Brian and Justin claiming the backseat for themselves. 

"What?" Brian asked quietly, taking note of the amused but irritated expression on Justin's face. "The Taylors love me." 

Justin gave a small snort and shook his head. 

Jennifer began driving. "So who else is going to be there, Justin?" she asked her son. 

"Oh," Justin said, beginning to smile and get excited. "Us, Ms. Nejame of course, the art coordinator at school, Debbie and her son, Vic, Emmett, and um…well…Dad, if he comes." 

The smile on Jennifer's face died. "Oh honey, he said he's working late. He said he'd try to swing by if he had time," she said, her expression troubled, knowing that Craig didn't want to come anyway. They'd had a long discussion about this yesterday, which ended with Craig's refusal to attend "some fag event." 

Justin gave an unconcerned shrug, but the hurt look on his face that he couldn't manage to conceal said otherwise. 

Brian gave Justin's shoulder a comforting squeeze. He found himself wishing that they were alone so he could console him better. 

Molly, peering into one of the side mirrors, did not miss Justin's sad face. She turned to look at him and said defiantly, "Dad's a jerk for not coming to see the pretty painting! Don't worry Jester, you have me and Mom and Brian." She looked at Brian, gave a small giggle, and turned back around. 

"Molly," Jennifer said warningly, "you shouldn't talk about your father like that." Nevertheless, the girl's remark had achieved its goal and had made Justin smile brightly again. 

When they arrived at the gallery (in the car it was about a fifteen-minute ride) they decided to stick together. Ms. Nejame spotted Justin and Brian and came on over to congratulate the small blond on such a great achievement. She introduced herself to Jennifer and Molly and to Jennifer's pleasure, she went on and on about Justin's wonderful artistic abilities. 

"…Really such a wonderful boy, you did a good job, Mrs. Taylor," she said. "Justin? Didn't you tell me your father was coming?" 

Justin looked at his mother, deciding to let her field this one. 

"My husband is working late today," Jennifer said pleasantly. "He's so sorry he couldn't make it, but he is so proud of Justin." 

Brian raised an eyebrow at this out-right lie. 

Ms. Nejame smiled and nodded. "That's good. Such a shame he couldn't make it. Well, enjoy your evening!" 

As soon as she left they were bombarded with Deb. "Sunshine!" she shrieked, throwing her arms around the boy. "We've just seen it, oh it's marvelous, so marvelous!" She pressed a kiss to Justin's cheek. "Oh, are you Sunshine's mother?" she asked Jennifer, thrusting out a hand for Jennifer to shake. "I'm Deb Novotny," she said as she was joined by Vic and a sulking Michael. "This is my brother Vic and my son Michael. We live next door? I've talked to your husband once." She gave Jennifer a look that said quite plainly what she thought of him. "I see you've met Brian. He, Justin and Michael go to school together." 

Jennifer felt a little overwhelmed at this loud redheaded woman. "Oh, hello," she said. "You work at the diner where Justin just started working, am I right?" 

Debbie nodded. "He's such the good little worker!" 

Justin gulped. He hadn't told his mother _where_ the diner was located. "Mom, come here and look at my painting. You haven't seen it yet!" he said, trying to distract Jennifer. 

"Oh," Jennifer said. "Oh yes. Debbie, it was so nice to meet you." 

"And it was nice to meet you. Ah! There's Emmett! Emmett!" Deb went off shrieking, trying to get Emmett's attention. She dragged Michael along after her, with Vic bringing up the rear. 

Justin dragged Brian, his mother, and Molly to where his painting was. He knew where it would be. 

"How wonderful!" Jennifer murmured, stepping closer to peer at the painting. "It's beautiful, Justin. And such a clever title." 

Brian whipped out a camera. He gave a small smirk in reply to Justin's puzzled look, then snapped a few pictures of the painting, then a few of Justin, who immediately beamed at Brian (and at the camera), being naturally photogenic. 

"I don't get it," Molly said, bewildered and squinting at the painting. 

"Oh, see honey…" Jennifer started to explain the painting to Molly. 

"We'll be right back Mom," Justin said, referring to him and Brian, who had been stuffed the camera back in his coat pocket. "Will you be all right on your own?" 

"Oh yes," Jennifer said, smiling. "I just saw the LeGoffs from the country club. I'll go chat with them for a while." 

Justin and Brian then went off on their own. "You know that your mom is going to be bragging to those country club assholes, right? She's going to tell everyone that her high-school son is already getting his paintings publicly displayed," Brian asked Justin, smirking. 

"Yeah," Justin said, but a little sadly. "At least _she's_ proud of me." 

"Hey," Brian said, a little fiercely. "This is your dad's loss, all right? If he doesn't realize how much of a fucking asshole he is and how great his son is, then he's fucking stupid." Brian was frustrated that he couldn't hold Justin close. "So don't let him spoil your evening." 

Justin smiled at him. "You always say the right thing." 

"Of course," Brian said smugly. "I'm Brian Kinney. Now, let's go say hello to Emmett." 

Emmett was standing with a tall, good-looking young man, talking animatedly, especially about how he knew the brilliant young artist everyone was gabbing about. Brian and Justin both laughed to themselves as they approached him.

"…He's a new, tasty little morsel who's soooo talented! And he's really going places! I…oh, but here he is! Sunshine, over here baby!" Emmett called, catching sight of Brian and Justin and bobbing enthusiastically up and down, earning disapproving looks from some of the non-art crowd. 

"Hi Emmett," Justin said. "Who's your friend?" 

Emmett beamed. "Ben, these two beautiful boys are Justin Taylor and Brian Kinney. They're both seniors in high school. Justin's the fabulous creator of that darling painting. Baby and Brian, this is Ben Bruckner, a good friend of mine. He came in Torso a few months ago and we really hit it off, didn't we?" he asked Ben. 

Ben smiled at Justin and Brian. "It's good to meet you," he said. 

Justin smiled back. "Do you go to college, Ben?" 

Ben nodded. "Yes, I'm at Carnegie Mellon, in fact." 

"Cool," Brian said, somewhat indifferently. "I heard that's a good school." 

"It is," Ben said. "So, I hear you are the young artist everyone's talking about. The one with the great new painting over there. Phenomenal work, Justin." 

Justin blushed. "Thanks," he said. "That's so nice of you to say. What brings you to this gallery? Are you a fan of art?" 

Ben nodded. "Oh yeah," he said. "I used to date an artist. We went out for a couple of months, but it didn't really go anywhere. Before we broke up though, he taught me a lot about art." 

Brian began to grow wary. He wasn't sure if he appreciated a guy who "dated artists" talking to his blond. This Ben guy was hot. Too hot, maybe. He had to get Justin away from him, quick. 

"Oh," Brian said suddenly as Michael approached them. Evidently he had managed to untangle himself from Deb's grasp. "Ben, this is my friend Michael. Michael, this is Ben, a college student and a friend of Emmett's." Brian hoped Michael could take Ben's attention off of Justin.

Michael grew bright red when the gorgeous young man turned his eyes on him. "H-hey," Michael said breathlessly, sticking out his hand. "I'm Michael Novotny." 

Ben smiled at Michael's earnestness. His stuttering was endearing. He was cute, in a puppy dog kind of way. "Ben Bruckner," he answered, taking the offered hand. "Where do you go to school?" 

Michael was entranced with this beautiful man. He couldn't speak. 

Justin jumped in, "He goes to school with Brian and me." 

At the sound of Justin's voice, Michael narrowed his eyes, then squinted at Justin. "It's 'Brian and I'," he said snootily. 

Justin smiled. "As a matter of fact, Michael, it _is_ 'Brian and me.' I said 'with', which is a preposition, thus the sentence is in objective case, hence the use of Brian and me."

Michael looked bewildered for a second, then snapped, "Oh God, shut up will you?" 

Everyone except Michael laughed. 

"He's smart," Ben said admiringly. 

"I got 1500 on my SATs!" Justin said proudly. 

Brian rolled his eyes. 

"1500? That's great baby, I didn't know that!" Emmett said. 

"How could you not have heard by now?" Brain murmured, which earned him an elbow to the ribs from Justin. 

"Yeah," Justin said. "What did you get, Emmett?" 

"Oh honey," Emmett said almost pityingly, "I don't even remember. I just recall the guidance counselor saying, 'Mr. Honeycutt, you may want to take the test again and try studying this time.'" Emmett gave a small tinkling laugh, remembering.

"Oh God. And what did you say?" Justin asked, amused by this guidance counselor's lack of knowledge about how to deal with Emmett. 

"I just answered, 'Honey, this fabulous queen is not going to waste time studying! He's going to the be the next best designer and decorator!' So the poor dear woman left me alone." 

Justin and Ben smiled. 

"Excuse me," said a deep voice. "Which one of you fine gentleman is Justin Taylor?" 

The group of young men turned to look at the speaker. He was a man with a lot of dark hair, though the sides were now slightly tinged with silver. He was tall with dark eyes and he was slender but muscular. He was about forty maybe, give or take a year, obviously well dressed and wealthy.

"I'm Justin Taylor," Justin piped, smiling brightly at the man. 

The man's gaze turned on him. A small smile came to his lips. "Hello," the man said smoothly, cool as ice. "I'm Leighton McDougal, the owner of this gallery." 

Startled, Justin took a step back, then bravely stepped forward again and offered his hand. "It's so great to meet you," Justin said, determined to make a good, upstanding impression. "This gallery of yours is exquisite. I've been coming here since I was a child." 

Leighton gave the smiling boy an approving nod. "So you started early," he mused. "So do the best artists out there. This painting…I've rarely seen such enthusiasm and… such _skill_ in someone so young." 

Pink touched Justin's pale cheeks and he smiled even bigger. The other boys looked on. 

"Thank you so much Mr. McDougal," Justin said earnestly, trying not to gush. "Um…shall I introduce my friends? This is Emmett Honeycutt, Brian Kinney, Ben Bruckner…" 

"Yes yes," Leighton said, impatiently waving away these unimportant names and pleasantries. "Listen Mr. Taylor, I would like you to come by my office here at the gallery tomorrow. Bring your portfolio. I am interested in showcasing some more of your work." 

Justin beamed. "Really? Oh God, that would be wonderful! What time should I come by?"

Leighton handed over a business card, with a time written on it already. "Is this convenient for you?" 

Justin glanced at the time and nodded. "Yes. So I'll see you then?" 

A small, conspiratorial smile touched Leighton's lips. "Yes, please do," he said. "I look forward to seeing you tomorrow, Mr. Taylor." 

"Oh God," Justin said, trying not to gush or sound too overeager. "Call me Justin!" 

Leighton raked his eyes over Justin's face. "Of course…Justin." 

And he walked away. 

Justin was still standing there, awe-struck, when Brian commented, "Well, he was an asshole." 

Immediately, Justin whirled around to face Brian, shaken out of his thoughts. "Brian!" he gasped disbelievingly. "He'll hear you! Don't ever say that again!" 

"Well he was," Brian noted. "Didn't even look at any of us once. That bastard." 

"Maybe he was just busy," Emmett chimed in, shrugging. "Besides, it wasn't us he was interested in seeing, was it?" 

Jennifer suddenly appeared at Justin's side with Molly clinging to her side.

"Hi Mom," Justin said. "These are my friends Emmett Honeycutt and Ben Bruckner. And you've already met Michael." 

Jennifer gave the boys a small smile. "Honey," she said to Justin. "It's almost 9:00. Molly's already nearly asleep on her feet. She had a long day, what with her doctor's appointment and her swimming lesson…we're going to have to leave. Will you come with us or do you want to stay? If you do, make sure you can get a ride with someone trustworthy." 

"Um…" Justin looked over at Brian. "What do you think, Bri?" 

Brian nodded. "We better get back," he said quietly. "I promised Ja—my dad to be home by 10:00." 

Justin gave Brian a small, worried glance that nobody really picked up on. 

"All right then, let's go," Jennifer said. "Lovely to meet you all," she said to the two boys.

"Okay," Justin said. "Bye guys. Michael, you leaving with Deb and Vic?" 

Michael scowled a response. 

"Let's go," Brian echoed, briefly forgetting that he was supposed to "not touch" and slinging an arm around Justin. 

Justin gave him a panicked look, and Jennifer tried to ignore them. 

Brian dropped his arm immediately, and they all left the gallery.  

When they pulled up to Brian's house, Justin gave his hand a squeeze, grateful for the impenetrable darkness of the car. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said lightly." 

"Bye," Brian said, giving his blond a smile and taking a deep breath, walked into his house and braced himself to face the music. 

*          *            *

Leighton McDougal sighed, stripping off his briefs and getting under the covers. He'd had a long day. Roslyn had burned the pot roast at dinner. When he had suggested she take a few cooking classes, she had thrown a plate at his head, which he had narrowly avoided. 

He was so fucking sick of his wife's temper tantrums and he had endured her abysmal cooking for way too long. 

Then of course he had to drop by at the gallery. He hadn't wanted to, wanted to puke at the idea of having to meet some snot-nosed, arrogant high-school kid. 

When he saw the painting, he was impressed, he wasn't going to lie. But he didn't doubt that the artist was probably a shit. Most of these high-school kids were. 

Gregory, the art coordinator at the high school, had pointed to the group of boys. He'd walked over, wanting to get this over with quickly. He remembered looking at them. Which one was he, this Justin Taylor? The tall queen? The short dark kid who looked a bit like a kicked puppy? The other two tall boys were quite good-looking. Was…

Ah. 

He'd heard the little blond pipe up, and his breath briefly caught in his throat when he looked at him. Beautiful. Blond, blue-eyed, perfect skin. A small frame, tiny waist that led to perfect hips and a round little ass…

In the bed, Leighton's hand slipped into his briefs and he grasped his already-swollen, recently very neglected cock. Fucking Roslyn. But he wasn't going to think about her now. 

Oh no. Leighton had always liked blonds. And this one was gorgeous. He hadn't fucked a pretty little boy in years, but he immediately knew he had to have this one. Beautiful, delicate small thing blushed and when he smiled…

Leighton worked his cock faster, starting to pant. 

Before he knew it, Leighton had offered the boy to come by with his portfolio. He wasn't going to dispute that the boy was a good artist, but…Leighton wasn't interested in that, to be honest. No…he was a little more interested in something else. 

He groaned, pulling at his dick, his eyes rolling into the back of his head. The little blond was probably lithe and tasty…and when he slid into the beautiful tight ass…

"Fucking hell," Leighton breathed, coming into his hand, cursing himself for releasing so quickly.

The door opened and Roslyn tiptoed in and crawled into the covers as well. "Leighton? You awake? I'm sorry honey. I'm so sick of fighting. Please let's not fight." 

Leighton smiled, reached for a tissue on the nearby nightstand. "Okay," he said as he wiped his hand with the tissue.

He lay back down and put his arm around her and they both started to drift off to sleep. Lazily, he half-opened his eyes once more and caught a glance of soft blond hair.

"Good night sweet thing," Leighton purred, finally closing his eyes. 

"Good night Leighton," Roslyn whispered back.


	11. Too Good To Be True

  
Author's notes:

Hello everyone! Sorry this has taken me so long! I hope I'll get the next one out sooner. :) I"m dedicating this chapter to Karen, a really, really good friend! And I'm sorry to end the chapter the way I did. :P 

xoxoxo Izzy

* * *

Justin woke up at about 10:00 A.M. He was relieved that it was a Saturday. School that week had been tough, but Thanksgiving break was just around the corner. 

Yawning and stretching, he recalled the previous night's events. It had been an overall great night. Everyone he really did care about had come to support him, (except his father, but Justin wasn't going to think about that), and best of all, he'd made an impression on that Leighton guy, who was obviously _the_ guy to impress. After all, Justin's painting was currently hanging in the man's gallery! 

Suddenly, Justin reached for the card he'd tossed onto his nightstand along with his wallet before going to sleep. Just as he'd thought, he was supposed to meet Leighton at noon. 

Justin rose from his bed and picked up the clothes that were lying in a puddle on the floor where he'd stepped out of them last night. He took a quick shower, dressed in something appropriate for his meeting, grabbed his portfolio, and headed downstairs. Luckily, only his mother was up, having her morning coffee at the kitchen table and reading the paper. 

"Hey sweetie," Jennifer said to him, looking up at her son and smiling at him. "Sleep well?" 

"Yeah," Justin replied, sitting down across from her. "You?" 

Jennifer nodded before taking a sip of her coffee. "The paper printed a short piece in the Arts section about the gallery showing last night. Isn't it wonderful?" She passed the paper over to Justin.

The blond smiled as he saw himself standing in front of his painting. 

"That's great Mom," Justin said. "Um…did…" Justin tried not to look too concerned. "Did Dad say anything about last night?" 

Jennifer's chipper face fell a little, but she quickly tried to compose herself and smile again, but Justin caught it. 

"No honey," she said. "He was just looking over some papers in bed and didn't say much."  Jennifer felt a pang in her heart at the sorrowful look on her son's face. She loved her son unconditionally. She certainly did not approve of her son's lifestyle, but she at least accepted it. Craig kept insisting that it was just a phase and that Justin would grow out of it, but to Jennifer that didn't seem to be the case. 

And just a few weeks ago she'd been thinking that maybe Justin _had_ grown out of it like Craig said he would (he'd stopped begging for his cell phone back, for instance). She had been very surprised when she picked up on the fact that Justin and Matt weren't really together anymore. But her thoughts about Justin getting over "this stupid fag thing", as Craig called it, were immediately quenched after the looks and smiles she'd seen her son exchange with that Brian Kinney. She knew for sure that their relationship had grown far past simply platonic. 

And somehow, Jennifer found herself…not caring. In fact, she would even go as far as to say that she was _pleased_ about it. Her baby boy had been so depressed, his face downcast, his smile dimmed. Over the last few weeks she'd noticed the light coming back to Justin's eyes and his beautiful smiles were becoming much more frequent, to her delight. She had certainly seen Brian over at their house a few times before, but she hadn't given him much thought. But after last night, she knew. She knew that there was something there, and right now her biggest fear was that Craig would discover it. 

"Anything else in the paper?" Justin asked, determinedly trying to keep his mind off the subject of his father's lack of interest in his son's life. 

Jennifer was jerked out of her thoughts and looked at her son. "No, not really," she sighed, tapping her fingernails lightly against the table in thought. 

They were quiet for a few moments, before Justin said, "Hey Mom?" 

Jennifer looked at him again, trying to clear her head of morbid thoughts, including what exactly Craig would do to her son if he found out. "Yes honey?" 

"Do you think I could take one of the cars for a few hours? I want to go down to the diner where I'll be starting tomorrow. And then…then I'm going to Mr. McDougal's house. Did I tell you he'd invited me to his house when we met last night? I'm supposed to bring my portfolio and talk art." 

Jennifer smiled, now realizing why her son was dressed in something other than his usual cargoes and T-shirts. "That's wonderful, darling. He's the owner of the gallery, isn't he?" 

Justin nodded. "So can I? I should be back by at least 3:00 this afternoon." 

Jennifer sighed. "I don't know honey, you know how your father feels about you taking the car on your own…" 

The blond boy was horrified at the thought that he might not be able to attend the meeting. "But Mom!" he said, trying hard not to whine and sound like Michael. "Honestly, I…I promise I'll just do what I need to and come back. I won't be going anywhere else, no matter what Dad thinks." 

Jennifer knew that it was essential for her son to keep this previous engagement, so regardless of what Craig would say later she relented. "All right," she said to her son. "Just as long as you're back by 3:00 like you said." 

Smiling, Justin quickly kissed his mother's cheek and snatched up his portfolio. "I'll take your car, right?" he asked, knowing he probably shouldn't press his luck asking for Craig's sleeker, cooler model. 

The blond woman nodded. "Yes. The keys are in my purse in the hall." 

Justin went into the hall and snatched the keys, then poked his head into the kitchen and shouted a quick goodbye to his mother. 

"Oh Justin sweetie? I always keep forgetting, where is this diner you'll be working at? Just so I know where you are." 

Justin gulped and sighed. He knew he couldn't escape it forever. He closed his eyes and then forced them open with determination. "The diner on Liberty Avenue," he said simply and bluntly. 

Jennifer's eyes widened slightly. She and her son looked at her each other dead in the eye.

Justin knew that this was the moment. She could either accept him for who he was or she'd turn away forever, like Craig. Perhaps not directly, but he was nevertheless telling her that he was gay. 

Jennifer's face was now calm. She gave her son a nod and in that instant, acceptance passed from her eyes to Justin's, and she turned back to her paper.

Out of the corner of her eye, she watched her beautiful boy smile and go out the door. 

*          *            *

"So how fun was last night?" Emmett said happily. 

"It was cool," Michael said nonchalantly. 

"Just 'cool?' " Emmett said incredulously. "You were so drooling over my tall dishy friend Ben. I don't blame you honey. He's gorgeous!" 

"Who's gorgeous?" Brian asked, coming in from the diner bathroom and sitting down next to Michael. 

"Ben, you remember the gorgeous boy I introduced you to last night?" 

"He's all right," Brian said dismissively. 

"All right?" Emmett scoffed. "Michael, you and him so totally mesh, darling! You two look so adorable, him so big and lovely and you so sweet and tiny! You have to ask him out soon or he's bound to be taken soon, sweetie." 

Debbie came bustling over to take Brian's order. Afterwards, she folded her arms over her chest and glared at them.  "Who should Michael ask out?" she said immediately. "What are you boys talking about?" 

"Remember that tall beautiful boy Ben I introduced you to, Debbie? After Brian and Justin left?" 

"Right, now I remember. Michael with that boy? I don't know. Michael, what do you think about all this?" 

"Ma!" Michael protested. "Please mind your own business!" 

"You little asshole!" A slap upside the head. 

"Ma!" Michael squawked. 

"Well this is just wonderful," Brian interjected, shaking his head. 

The door opened and Justin sauntered in, a big smile on his face. Everyone turned to look at the smaller boy. Brian couldn't help brightening at the sight of him. His day had suddenly taken a turn for the better.

"Hey guys," Justin beamed at them. 

Debbie gave him a hug and a smack on the cheek. "I just can't stop congratulating you, Sunshine. You made Vic and me so proud! Just think, in a few years we can say 'I knew him way back then!' "

Justin smiled his thanks and went to sit down next to Emmett, but Brian pulled him into his lap instead. Emmett and Debbie exchanged gleeful glances while Michael pouted, staring at Brian accusingly for, in his opinion, this horrible offense. Brian chose to ignore all of them. 

"So Sunshine, you want something to eat?" Debbie asked. 

"Yeah, bacon, sausage, scrambled eggs, hash browns…hmm…" 

"Pancakes?" Brian suggested, smirking.

"Oh yeah, good one Brian! And two pancakes!" 

"Coming right up cutie," Deb said, snapping her gun and pinching Justin lightly on the cheek. 

Brian shook his head fondly. "I was fucking with you about the pancakes, I didn't think you really would order them." 

Justin grinned. "I know." 

Justin and Emmett continued to chatter animatedly with each other, while Brian tried to ignore the bubble butt grinding into his erection as Michael glared at the happy couple. Brian knew Justin was teasing him by the small, coy looks the blond was giving him over his shoulder. So Brian tilted his hips up slightly, gently nudging his hardening cock into the crease of Justin's baggy cargoes. 

Emmett tried not to notice, but he couldn't help the silly grin that was on his face as he watched his two friends try to tempt each other. He couldn't believe that their sweet Justin was such a tease! Justin had told him that he and Brian hadn't been together yet…he hadn't said why, but Emmett assumed he wasn't completely over the old boyfriend yet. He gave up trying to hold a conversation with Justin when it was clear his mind was elsewhere, so he turned to Michael, who was just as distracted, tossing evil looks at Brian and Justin in between sentences. 

Debbie bustled over with their orders just as Brian and Justin dived into each other's mouths. "Brian Kinney!" she barked. "Stop trying to eat Sunshine and eat your damn breakfast!" 

Brian pulled away from Justin's plump mouth, tossing Debbie one of his signature tongue-in-cheek smirks. "Fine," he said. He leaned over and gave Justin's bottom lip one last nip before turning to his bagel and coffee. 

Justin raised an eyebrow, staring at Brian disbelievingly. "This is all you're ordering?" he asked. 

"I have a game tomorrow," Brian said, dabbling cream cheese on his bagel. "I have to stay trim." 

Justin rolled his eyes. "Brian, you're not going to gain ten pounds overnight! We're eighteen, for God's sake!" 

" _I'm_ eighteen," Brian said pointedly. " _You_ are seventeen." 

"I'll be eighteen next week," Justin said proudly. "So I might as well already get used to saying it." 

"Oh are you baby?" Emmett said excitedly. 

"Yeah," Justin said. "Em, do you know what time it is?" 

Brian looked at his watch. "11:30," he answered, nuzzling the back of his blond's neck lightly. 

Justin jumped up Brian's lap (after giving Brian another kiss), sat next to Emmett, and began to wolf down the big breakfast he'd ordered. 

"Oh honey, what's the rush?" Emmett said, eyes wide as he watched Justin shovel forkful after forkful of food into his mouth. 

"I'm meeting Leighton McDougal at the gallery at noon," the blond boy said. "Remember? He asked to see me and my portfolio." 

Brian narrowed his eyes. "I didn't like him," he said stiffly. "I don't think you should go, Justin. Or at least let me come with you." 

Justin looked up at Brian, confused. "Come on, Brian, he just wants to talk about art. I mean, what else could there be?" 

The tall brunette didn't answer him, but he was thinking. At the gallery, he hadn't really given Leighton a second thought. He was tall, good-looking for an older man, but he didn't seem that bad. But now looking back, he remembered how Leighton hadn't given a shit about any of them. He'd only had eyes for Justin. Maybe he was just being paranoid, but Brian didn't want his blond going over there alone. Better to be safe than sorry, wasn't it?

After roughly ten minutes (in which Brian stole a sausage and half of a pancake off of the blond boy's plate), Justin had finished almost all of his food. "I have to go," the blond said, rising from the table. "I don't want to be late for my appointment." 

"I'm going with you," Brian said suddenly, also rising from the table. 

Justin turned to him, exasperated. "Brian, no. It'll look stupid if you go with me." 

"And why is that?" Brian demanded. 

"…Because it'll be childish. I have to do things on my own. Debbie, I'll be back for my shift at 5:00," Justin called to Debbie. "I'll see you later, Bri. I'll be fine, okay?" The blond slapped down a twenty, then gave Brian one last, reassuring kiss. 

Brian sighed and nodded. "Yeah. Okay. Later." 

Justin exited the diner, waving goodbye to Emmett, who gave the boy a wink and blew him a kiss, and Michael, who didn't wave back, sitting solid and silent and glaring. 

Emmett gave Brian a sympathetic look. "Oh Bri," he said. "Let the poor boy do his thing. We met Leighton, remember? He was harmless. Oh sure, a little pushy and rude, but he looks successful and very sure of himself." 

Brian rolled his eyes, not believing a word. 

Emmett sighed. "I better get to work. I'll see you fabulous boys later." He also paid for his food and left. 

Michael immediately flung his arm around Brian, glad that they were alone. "Briannnn," he whined. "We NEVER do stuff anymore! Come on, let's do something!" 

Brian sighed, knowing he wasn't going to get out of this one.

*          *            *

Justin parked near the gallery, grabbed his portfolio, and happily approached the doors to the gallery. He was very excited about this meeting. Leighton McDougal, he knew, could make or break his career as an artist, so he was definitely hoping to impress the older man. 

He entered the gallery, was pointed to Leighton's office down a hallway. The boy was surprised to see that Leighton's door was slightly open. Stepping in hesitantly, he said questioningly, "Mr. McDougal?" 

Leighton looked up at the little blond and smiled. He rose from his desk and walked over to Justin, extending a hand. "Lovely to meet you," he crooned to the boy. "Please take a seat." 

Justin sat in one of the chairs in front of the man's desk, looking around at everything. Adorning the walls were magnificent works of art. Justin was astonished at how beautiful these masterpieces were. He itched to get a closer look at them, to take in the greater detail, but he restrained himself and after a moment he pulled his gaze away and looked at Leighton questioningly. 

The older man had been watching the pretty young blond take in the art hanging on the walls of his office. He observed everything; from the way his pink lips parted slightly when he looked at these paintings in awe, to the sweet flutter of his eyelashes when the boy finally turned his head to look at him. Leighton knew very well the boy wanted to get closer. "Go ahead and take a closer look," he said to the boy. "I understand the lure of great art." 

Justin was astonished. Brian had been totally wrong. Leighton wasn't a bastard in the slightest. Maybe he'd just been having a bad day when the gang saw him last. Either way, to Justin, Leighton was perfectly all right. 

The blond boy flashed the man a big, beautiful smile, while Leighton stared back as if a deer caught in headlights. Justin stood and made his way over to the nearest painting. 

He worked himself around the room, taking in the gorgeous paintings, almost in reverence. His pale fingers curled slightly, as if itching to wrap around a pencil and start sketching copies of these things. The boy was ecstatic. He had already seen most of the paintings hanging in the gallery before, so of course yesterday he hadn't really looked at any of them except his own. But these were new and Justin could never turn down looking at new art. 

Unbeknownst to him, Leighton was inspecting the small artist carefully as he studied the pictures, taking in every last feature, looking him up and down. To Leighton, the back of this kid was just as hot as the front. 

After several minutes Justin finally dropped down back into his seat and beamed at the man. "Thank you so much Mr. McDougal," he said, somewhat apologetically. "I didn't mean to take so long." 

Leighton smiled. "Not at all," he said. "And please, call me Leighton. I love seeing young people like you show real appreciation for art. Outside of the art world, some people don't even think being an artist is an occupation, much less a respectable one." 

Justin sighed and nodded, thinking of his father. "I know what you mean," he said. 

Leighton leaned back in his chair, still nonchalantly studying the boy's lips, eyes, and cheekbones. "So you're a senior are you?" 

The blond nodded again. "Yes," he said proudly. 

"I think I saw your mother and sister last night," Leighton went on smoothly. "But I didn't get to introduce myself to them. Did your father attend as well?" 

Leighton watched as the boy's face tightened slightly. "No," he answered. "Craig is one of those people you were talking about earlier. The ones who have no appreciation for art." 

The older man clucked his tongue sympathetically. "It's tough being an artist without support," he said softly. "And it's even harder being a good one. Do you think you are a good one, Justin?" 

For a split second Justin went slightly pale, wondering if this was a trick question. He decided to answer the man honestly. "I think I'm _getting_ to be a good artist," he replied. 

Leighton smiled. The boy had handled that one well. "Well, let me see if that's true," he said, signaling to the portfolio Justin had tucked protectively under an arm.

Nervously, the boy handed over his portfolio. 

The man flipped through it. He was definitely impressed; there was no question about it. The boy might be absolutely gorgeous, but there was a lot of talent in that blond head. 

Leighton closed the portfolio and studied the boy, who was on the edge of his seat, teeth tugging at his bottom lip. "I like it," he said simply. 

Justin let out a sigh of relief, then started beaming. "Really?" 

The dark-haired man nodded. "There's a lot of talent in here," he said, tapping the book. "May I ask where you are applying?" 

The blond boy answered, "Well, I'll probably apply to Dartmouth and Brown. I've got a good academic record in school and I got high SAT scores. But right now I'm really, really interested in PIFA." 

Leighton raised one dark eyebrow. This was going even better than he had hoped. "Really?" he said. "That's a prestigious school, Justin. They only open 70 slots a year. I attended that school myself." 

Justin's eyes went wide. "Did you really?" he said excitedly. 

"Oh yes," Leighton said, smiling slightly. He knew he had the kid now. "I could put in a good word for you. And I would like to showcase some of your work…" 

Justin didn't think he could smile any bigger. This was all too good to be true!

"…Providing you do something for me, of course." 


	12. She Likes to Watch

  
Author's notes: Hey guys! Again, I apologize for how I ended this chapter. :) I only hope you can forgive me. This chapter, as promised, is dedicated to a good friend of mine, Keighley, [](http://libertysfic.livejournal.com/profile)[**libertysfic**](http://libertysfic.livejournal.com/) who had a rough time a little while ago. :) Love ya babe! Please review. You all have no idea how much each one means to me. Hugs to all. xoxoxo Izzy  
 _Note: Some small but important changes have been made to the story since first posted. Thanks to_ [](http://lady-erzulie.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://lady-erzulie.livejournal.com/)**lady_erzulie** _for pointing the mistakes out! *blows kiss*  
_  


* * *

Justin looked at Leighton, puzzled. What on earth did he mean? What did this man want from him? A favor? What should he say? While he thought, Justin's eyes wandered to the pictures on Leighton's desk. Leighton and a pretty blond woman on their wedding day. Two kids, presumably college-aged. A fuzzy white dog.

"What might that be, Mr. McDougal?" 

"Leighton," the man corrected. 

"Leighton," the boy said, raising an eyebrow. 

"Well…" the older man said, rising from his seat. "Before we get to that, may I ask you something?" 

Justin was even more bewildered than he was before. Why was Leighton being so cautious, so careful? "Yes," he said. "Of course, Leighton." 

"How old are you?" 

The blond boy thought that was a very strange question to ask, as far as he was concerned that had nothing to do with what they had been talking about. Justin's instincts were staring to kick in, urging him to leave, but he shook them off and answered the taller man. "Seventeen, but I'll be eighteen next week," he said, with a note of pride in his voice. He got such a kick out of saying that. 

Leighton smiled at the boy. "Good age, eighteen. Just old enough," he said in a tone that Justin couldn't discern. 

"Um…old enough for…?" 

"So," Leighton interrupted. "Like I was saying…I can recommend you for PIFA and get some more of your work shown here and maybe even other galleries."  

"In return for…?" Justin prompted, still unsure of where this was going. 

Leighton rose from his chair and walked over to the door. He looked this way and that, making sure no one was around. Justin turned to watch him do this, his heart beginning to thump in his chest. Leighton closed the door behind him and locked it. 

Nervousness that was fast elevating to fear seared in Justin's belly, shooting up to his throat, so that he was unable to speak. "W-W-What are you…" 

"You're a very beautiful boy Justin," Leighton said softly, stalking over to Justin like a predator to its prey. A seductive, evil smile curved his lips as he looked at the little blond of his fantasies, frozen in his seat; unable to tear those blue eyes away from Leighton, as if in a fearful trance. 

"Leighton," the boy said hoarsely, as if he had not spoken in days. "Please…" 

"Oh are you a begger?"  Leighton smirked, running one finger over down the curve of Justin's cheek. "I do like them like that." 

Justin's mouth was extremely dry. His entire body was shaking. He had no idea how he was going to get out of this. Leighton was blocking the doorway and the man was much taller than him, not to mention probably stronger. 

A small whimper escaped Justin's mouth and a single tear ran down his cheek. He ached for Brian. Why hadn't he accepted the other boy's offer to go with him? 

"Why are you trembling?" Leighton said coyly. "Haven't you ever fucked before?" 

A tiny sob broke free from Justin's lips. He couldn't even think anymore. He felt like that innocent, naïve little boy again, powerless and defenseless, only this time he knew what was happening.

"So you haven't," Leighton said, triumphantly. "Well, I like them like that even more." And he reached out and stroked Justin's hip lightly. 

The touch seemed to jolt the boy to his senses. He leaped to his feet and backed away from Leighton and his desk as if stung. "Get away from me right now," he growled, trying to put as much fire in his eyes and as much menace in his voice as possible. 

Leighton smiled and took a few steps closer to Justin. The boy backed up against the desk. "I mean it," the blond said, attempting to eliminate any quaver in his voice. 

"Oh but you don't want to threaten me beautiful," Leighton said smoothly. "If you do that, I'll take away everything from you. You don't understand how much influence I really have in the art world, Justin." He came forward even more, so that he was almost nose-to-nose with the boy. "So how about we stop playing around and…" 

A shriek of pain and a shattering of glass. 

Leighton was on his knees, holding his head between his two hands, howling. Blood was trickling down the side of his face. On the floor lay the remains of a vase that had been sent to him for Christmas the previous year and had been sitting on his desk ever since. 

Justin, frozen once again, shocked at what he had done, suddenly came unstuck and snatched his portfolio off the man's desk. He unlocked the door and ran down the hallway and out of the gallery. 

*          *             * 

Brian was with Michael at the smaller boy's favorite comic store, bored as usual, when the call came. He flipped open his cell, smirked when he saw the caller ID, and put the phone up to his ear.

"What's up, Sunshine?"

His smirk died when he heard the panicked voice of his blond. "Brian, can you please come over?" Justin pleaded. "I just got back from my meeting and Craig went out for some lunch with Mom and I'm here babysitting Molly. I-I need to talk to you, _please_. It's very important."  

"I'll be right there," Brian said immediately and closed his cell phone. He rose to his feet and looked at Michael, who was looking angry and annoyed. 

"What does Boy Wonder want this time?"

"Mikey, I have to go," Brian said. "He needs me, he sounds a little fucked up. I'll see you later, all right?" 

"Fuck you Brian," Michael said, folding his arms across his chest. "You do realize that the last few times we've spent time together it's because _he's_ not here? I'm supposed to be your best friend! Why is _he_ first now?"  

Brian rolled his eyes in exasperation. "I really don't have time for this," he said, pulling open the store's door. "Later." 

The brunette was gone in the blink of an eye. 

Climbing into his car, Brian was finally alone with his thoughts. His mind had started racing the minute he'd hung up with Justin, though he'd been interrupted with Michael's whining. He wondered what was wrong with the blond. Was it something that had happened at the meeting? Did that fucker Leighton say something to him? Or was he maybe unimpressed by Justin's artwork and said so? Brian's fists clenched. 

Or maybe it was Craig? He wouldn't put anything past that motherfucker. Did he scream at him? Call him a fag? Or the worse case scenario, find out about him and Justin? 

Brian pressed his foot down more firmly on the gas, the car lurching forward. He had to get there as soon as he could. 

Molly was playing hopscotch in the driveway when Brian pulled up while Justin watched her from the front steps, looking anxious. The taller boy parked on the curb, leaving room for the young girl to continue playing her games. He got out of the car quickly. Brian smiled and winked at Molly, who had frozen the minute she'd seen the car come into the driveway and had then started to pat her hair down nervously, whispering a soft "Hi Brian." He then started towards his blond. 

Justin heaved a sigh of relief and rose to his feet. He told Molly to come in, but she'd recovered after her brush with Brian and refused, maintaining that she wanted to keep playing. Her brother warned her sternly about not going onto the street and ushered Brian into the house.

"My room," Justin said, taking Brian by the hand and leading him upstairs. Brian's eyes narrowed, noticing that Justin's usually warm hand was strangely cool and clammy. He also noted that the boy had changed into sweats and a regular T-shirt.

They both laid down on Justin's bed, the blond immediately snuggling against the other boy and hiding his face in his neck. It was getting easier for Brian to wrap around someone like this and not expect sex in return. He didn't really do this all that often, but for Justin he found himself doing a lot of things he never pictured himself doing. 

"So what's up?" Brian asked after a few moments of silence. 

Justin mumbled something against Brian's neck. 

"What? Listen twat, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's…" 

Brian's complaint died in his throat when he saw Justin lift his head, his eyelashes clumped together with tears. He felt his insides twist and his blood boil. He'd never thought he could feel this bad for anyone but Mikey. He'd never thought he could feel in general for anyone but Mikey. 

"Who the fuck is he and what the fuck did he do?" 

Justin managed a weak smile at Brian's indignation and protectiveness and said shakily, 

"How do you know it's a he?" 

Brian looked at Justin as if he was insane. "The only women you care about are your sister, your mom, Debbie, and your art teacher, and all four of them love you. So spill, Sunshine." 

The smaller boy sighed and then looked at Brian in the eye. "If I tell you," he began, "you can't tell anyone and you can't do anything about it. Do you promise?" 

Brian looked suspicious. "No," he said. "I don't think I can promise that, Sunshine. Whatever it is, it was bad enough to hurt you, and even though I know you can be a little drama princess I also know that you are a tough little fucker. You don't cry for every little thing. Now tell me." 

Justin didn't look convinced. "I mean it Brian," the boy said seriously. "If you do something to him I'll…I'll never tell you anything again." 

Brian frowned. "I don't do ultimatums." 

"Brian…" 

"Justin." 

After glaring at each other for a few seconds, Brian sighed deeply. "Okay," he muttered. "I won't do anything or say anything to whoever it was and I won't tell anybody else." 

Justin gave him a small smile. "Thank you," he said softly. 

"So who was it?" Brian asked, eager to be let in on what happened. 

The blond opened his mouth to answer, but no sound came out. Brian reached over and stroked Justin's hand. "Take your time," he said gently. 

After a few deep breaths Justin managed to choke out, "It was Leighton."

Anger seemed to burn in Brian's insides. "The fucker told you your art wasn't good enough, didn't he? Well fuck him Justin. You are one of the most amazing people I've ever met and if he really did say that…" 

"No," Justin broke in, almost hoarsely. "It wasn't that." 

Brian cocked an eyebrow. "Then what was it?" 

"He-he touched me." 

Brian sat up abruptly and his face grew bright red, his eyes wild. "What the FUCK?" he yelled out. He got to his feet and started pacing the room. "That FUCKER! That piece of SHIT!" 

Justin sat up and tried to take Brian's arm to calm him. "Brian, it's okay," the blond boy pleaded. "I got away, I'm never going back…" 

Brian was still pacing the room, mumbling obscenities to himself while Justin tried to soothe him. He whirled around and glared at Justin, anger overriding common sense. 

"And you're just going to let the asshole get away with it? Are you? You just expect me to sit here and pretend nothing ever happened? Well maybe you can do that, but I can't!" 

The smaller boy paled, his hand going limp and dropping from Brian's arm. "You can't confront him Brian," he begged. "He's so influential and nobody would believe me. I saw the pictures on his desk. He has a family, a wife and kids and a fucking dog!" 

Brian sneered. "So he's in the fucking closet, the asshole. In the closet and never had the balls to admit it. In the closet and fucking his wife while trying to get rid of his fag urges by feeling up high-school boys." 

Justin's body was trembling slightly. "God Brian, please! I know exactly what he is and what he does, but don't you see that nothing will be done? If we go to the police, what are they going to say? Who are they going to believe? A prominent member of the community or an out high-school kid? And I know he's in the closet," Justin said, noticing that Brian had opened his mouth to protest some more, "but the police don't. Trust me Brian, the best thing is to leave it. Besides," and for the first time a grin made its way onto Justin's face, "it's not like nothing happened to him." 

Brian recognized the devilish look on Justin's face and couldn't help smiling back at him. He sat down next to his boyfriend and wrapped an arm around him, letting out a deep breath and trying to calm himself. "So tell me what happened exactly. What did you do, Sunshine, that's making you grin like this?" 

Justin sighed. "He invited me to sit down, told me a lot of shit, about how he went to PIFA and was interested in my art…and then he asked for a favor." 

Brian found his hands balling into fists again. 

"And then he got up and locked the door. I was frozen, literally. I knew I had to get the hell out of there but I couldn't. Then he told me…some things and touched me." 

"Where?" Brian asked, grinding his teeth. 

"On my lower hip. Not _there_. But then I just grabbed a vase on his desk and smashed it into his head and got out of there." 

Brian shook his head, then reached up and stroked the fine blond hair fondly. He knew his Justin had made a fucking mistake not getting out of there sooner, but he was proud of him for taking matters into his own hands and clubbing the fucker. "I should have gone with you," he said under his breath, so quietly Justin could barely catch it. 

"I was stupid," Justin said, trying to ease Brian. "You offered and it probably wouldn't have happened if you had come, but I told you not to come. Next time I'll listen more." 

Brian gave the boy a sweet smile (though he'd never admit to the fact that he was capable of smiling like that). "Oh please. You're a persistent little twat." 

Justin smiled back and kissed Brian softly. "Promise me you won't say or do anything." 

Brian thought about that for a second, then nodded. "I think the poor, fucked-up bastard has suffered enough," he said. 

Justin grinned and wrapped his arms around Brian's neck and kissed him again, albeit much harder and deeper this time. Their mouths opened and their tongues explored as the kiss became more and more passionate. 

The petite blond was in heaven. This was the most wonderful kiss he'd ever had. Every time Brian kissed him like this he changed his mind about his best kiss. _This is my best kiss. No this is my best kiss. No this—_

Brian let out a moan as both boys devoured the other's mouth. He hadn't fucked anyone in such a long time, and for such a sexually driven person this was pure hell, so every time he and Justin shared a kiss like this it made him so fucking horny. 

They both collapsed on the bed, bodies rubbing against each other, the friction driving them both insane and making them crave for the feel of skin-on-skin.

"Please Brian," Justin mumbled through swollen lips and in between kisses. "Please fuck me." 

"You…sure?" Brian panted, unable to tear himself away from Justin's mouth, now kiss-bruised and pinker than usual.  

Justin pulled his lips away for a second and for a split-second he stared into Brian's eyes and swore he saw his future. This was his destiny. To be right here. No matter what he had already done in the past, he was in the right place at that moment.

The blond leaned forward and pressed his forehead to Brian's, closing his eyes and trying to calm his racing heart. Brian kissed the tip of the boy's nose, waiting…

"I'm sure." 

Brian's hand trailed down the boy's chest, cupping the erection tenting Justin's pants. He leaned in for another forceful kiss; trying to read Justin's emotions through his body language, ready to get up immediately if his blond suddenly froze up. Everything seemed to be fine, everything was going just right, and so Brian slowly removed the boy's shirt, taking his time, easing Justin into this new experience.

One finger slowly circled a tight little nipple. There was a small gasp as two fingers pinched the nub. Brian could feel the pounding of Justin's heart, the build-up of anticipation and nervousness.

Hazel eyes connected with blue ones. In that lone instant love and trust flashed between both boys, one asking for reassurance, the other giving it. 

Their lips joined again, clinging together, refusing to part as the lithe fingers slid down again, hooking onto the waistband of the blond boy's sweats, starting to ease them down so that coarse blond hairs began to peek over…

"MOLLY?!" 

Brian was stunned by Justin's sudden shriek of surprise and was immediately thrown off of the blond as he sat up, mouth open, staring at the doorway. 

The door, which had been closed when they had first come in, was now slightly open to reveal a thunderstruck Molly. The girl was blushing bright red and there was a mixture of shock and embarrassment on her face. 

"Molly, get OUT OF HERE!" Justin yelped, grasping one of the pillows on his bed and throwing it in the girl's direction. Molly came unstuck, whispered a barely-audible "sorry!" and shut the door before the pillow could hit her. 

Justin buried his face in his hands. "Oh no, oh no," he muttered. "Fuck no. She'll tell Craig, she'll tell him, I know she will. Oh fuck." 

Brian, who had been feeling quite helpless throughout this entire scene, leaned over and rubbed Justin's back gently. "She won't," he said. "I'll have a talk with her later. I promise you, she won't. Why would she?" 

Justin let out a tiny groan. "God Brian, she saw us! How long do you think she was standing there? I just opened my eyes and she was watching us! What the fuck did she see? Oh fuck. I think she didn't even know what gay people are!" 

The taller boy let out a small chuckle. Now that the initial surprise had passed, he was finding this situation quite amusing. "Sunshine, come on. How could she not know what gay people are? She probably already did know." 

Justin lifted his head out of his hands. "Do you really think so?"

Brian snorted at his blond's naivety. "Of course. She's probably heard your fucking father scream about it. And if she didn't…well, she sure does now." He smirked again. 

Justin glared at the brunette. "It's not funny, Brian! I just scarred my sister for life! 

What's she going to think later on, when she gets older?" 

"I hardly think you scarred your sister for life, Sunshine. Besides, you said yourself that she was there when you opened your eyes." He couldn't help it, he laughed. "Molly likes to watch, apparently." 

The blond groaned again and buried his face in the pillow.


	13. Out There Somewhere

  
Author's notes:

Hey guys. Sorry for taking so long to post, but I hope you enjoy. Reviews are craved like nothing else, so if you read puhlease take the time to tell me your thoughts! 

xoxoxo Izzy

* * *

Chapter 13: Out There Somewhere

 

A week later, Brian has still not gotten over Justin’s horrible encounter with Leighton, but he had accepted the blond’s decision to forget about it. However, if he came upon the man again sometime in the future, he definitely wasn’t going to be held responsible for his actions. Though he knew Justin wanted to put it all behind them, Brian knew it would be very difficult for him to do so. 

 

Almost all the leaves had fallen off the trees by now and the strangely warm autumn was passing, making way for another brisk winter. Thanksgiving had arrived and Justin’s 18th birthday was in two days. Brian had been working on his present for the blond for a while now, and he was excited but at the same apprehensive about the boy’s reaction. 

 

But Brian was the happiest he had ever been. Well, he supposed he must have been happy as a tiny infant sucking on his toes and what not, but he couldn’t remember that. Though even that was doubtful; he was sure he’d been woken many nights by Jack’s drunken rages. But that wasn’t to say that Jack had stopped drinking. Quite the opposite, he seemed to be drinking more than ever. The only difference was that now he had something, more specifically _someone_ , to run to. Oh sure, he’d had Deb, Vic, and Mikey in the past, but he had never really realized how much he’d needed someone to just…be there, all the time, no matter what. Someone who stood by him no matter what the case.

 

He knew he’d do anything for Justin. 

 

The brunette spent almost every evening with his blond. Things had been a little awkward with Molly since that last…encounter, but he’d turned on the charm and sweet-talked her a bit. She’d been bashful and flustered at first, but quickly got over that and seemed to accept the situation very nicely. He was sure Molly wouldn’t be saying anything to Craig anytime soon, having promised to pick the girl up from a Girl Scouts meeting and give her a peck on the cheek (in front of all her friends). 

 

Speaking of that bastard, Brian was relieved that he rarely saw the guy. He almost always left before eight, or nine at the latest, but he had had a couple of slip-ups in the past, usually when he was exhausted and knew that at home he’d be beaten and cursed in a heartbeat and very likely wouldn’t get any sleep at all. So on those days, he curled up behind Justin and pulled him tight against his chest, the blond hair pleasantly tickling his chin, the deep, even breathing lulling him to sleep. (Justin always fell asleep before he did, safe and warm.) 

 

And he remembered waking up at about 10:00, bolting up; nervous, scared that Craig was around, but on those few close calls Craig hadn’t come home yet. The blond confided his suspicions to Brian. He had noted that Craig was coming home later and later and was most likely fucking around on Jennifer with his slut secretary. Brian completely believed Justin; he wouldn’t put anything past that asshole. And he knew very well Jennifer deserved better. 

 

Brian was actually drawing closer to her as well, perhaps not as close as he was to Debbie, but close nevertheless. She knew, she knew very well what was going on between Justin and him. What he loved about her was that she knew how to mind her own business. She learned from watching. She had never cornered Brian and given him that requisite “What are your intentions with my son?” speech, though granted Brian had never had to hear one, having never dated at all in the past. She knew very well how much Brian cared for her son, just by watching them together. 

 

Brian didn’t want to go home. Because he _was_ home.

 

“Brian? Hey Brian. I made a date with Ben.” Michael’s voice made its way into Brian’s ears. 

 

The taller boy looked up at his friend and pushed aside one of Vic’s tattered old porn magazines, which he’d been staring blankly at just a few moments earlier, lost in thought and blissfully unaware of his surroundings. “Really Mikey?” he said, raising an eyebrow. “Nice work. Did he set it up or did you?”

 

Michael tried not to pout. He’d expected to get an indignant reaction from Brian. He didn’t understand why Brian didn’t realize that their chance to be together could be slipping away. “Emmett told him and he made the first move,” the boy said listlessly. “We’re going out next weekend.” 

 

“Can he get us into Babylon?” Brian asked. 

 

“Honestly Brian! Did it pass through your head that maybe Ben wants to go somewhere romantic?!” 

 

Brian shrugged carelessly. “I still say he’s taking you to Babylon. Let me know if he can get us in.” 

 

Michael sunk lower into his armchair. This was not going the way he’d planned it. 

 

The smell of cooking turkey was wafting into Michael’s room. The friends inhaled deeply and grinned at each other. Judging by the sweet aroma, Debbie’s monster turkey was almost ready. 

 

Brian got up from his spot on the bed and crossed the room to Michael’s window and looked out at the neighbor’s house, sighing almost wistfully. He noted that Michael’s window was directly across from Molly’s. He supposed he should be glad that it wasn’t across from Justin’s, since the picture of Mikey spying on Justin was nauseating, if completely unrealistic. Still, if it had been across the blond’s room, he would’ve spent a lot more time over at Michael’s when he wasn’t with the blond himself. A smile crossed his face as he imagined making kinky faces and gestures to Justin from Mikey’s window. 

 

Oh! He hadn’t even thought of the bathroom. He knew for a fact that the Novotny/Grassi bathroom looked into the Taylors’. Though the curtains were always drawn, he could imagine his sneaky little blond opening them while he showered, once in a while looking over at Brian and poking his tongue out at him playfully and seductively. 

 

Feeling his pants getting tighter by the second, spurred by these thoughts, Brian sat right back down on the bed. 

 

“Brian, where is Boy Wonder going to college?” Michael said suddenly. 

 

Brian looked over at him in mild surprise. Michael almost never showed any interest in Justin. The taller boy suddenly felt himself grow surly. He didn’t like thinking about the end of the year. Even though he knew he’d finally be free of Jack and Joan, he would most likely be leaving behind Justin. 

 

“He’s applying to PIFA and a bunch of Ivy Leagues,” Brian said, trying to sound nonchalant. “But if he gets into PIFA that’s where he wants to go.” 

 

Michael sighed noisily. He hoped, prayed even, that Justin would go out of state. That way he and Brian could maybe go to Carnegie Mellon together and they would finally get together. Maybe Brian would even fuck him. He sighed at the thought, this time in pleasure and delight. 

 

“Boys! Turkey time!” Vic called up the stairs. 

 

The two friends dashed up from their customary places and pounded down the stairs, both eager for some Thanksgiving dinner. As they dashed into the dining room, they both stood still, both appreciative of the scene. 

 

Mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, cranberry sauce, ham, carrots and broccoli…and there, in the middle, the big fat turkey. Debbie had dimmed the lights and had lit a few candles. It was wonderful. 

 

“God Ma,” Michael said, eyes wide. “I think you’ve outdone yourself this time.” 

 

Debbie grinned and pinched Michael’s cheek affectionately. “Thanks. Now sit your asses down, Vic has to say grace.” 

 

They took their places and bowed their heads as they listened to Vic give thanks for their meal. This was one of the very few peaceful moments Brian had ever had. Or at least one of the very few where Justin wasn’t around. Every moment he spent with Justin was peaceful. Brian mentally added one more thing to Vic’s thanks. He didn’t really know if he believed in God, but regardless he thanked whoever or whatever had brought him and Justin together. Fate? A God? The gods? He didn’t care. 

 

Deb began to heap huge servings on each plate, making sure to give a bit more to Brian, who she was always concerned about. She knew he wasn’t into stuffing himself, perhaps one of the only teenage boys she had ever known that didn’t, but she also knew that deep down Brian could eat like a horse if he wanted to. 

 

Deb snorted to herself. She knew that kid so well; she was sure the only thing he ever wanted to eat was Sunshine. 

 

Speaking of Sunshine…

 

“Brian, are you _sure_ Sunshine isn’t coming?” 

 

Brian looked at her in slight exasperation mixed with happiness that Deb cared so much about Justin’s presence. “He said he couldn’t get out of dinner with his own family, but he was going to try to come over for dessert,” he answered, privately hoping Justin could get away for a few. 

 

Deb approved of this and they all dug in. Soon, like every dinner at the Novotnys, Debbie was picking on Michael for various things, Mikey was whining and refusing to listen to her, and Vic, cool calm collected Vic, kept on eating and looking over at Brian, giving him the occasional wink and knowing smile. 

 

It was all very well and very good. Brian couldn’t have been happier…but one very important person was missing. And he found himself wondering what his own little blond was doing at the moment…

  

*          *            *

  

_…probably having the time of his life over at Debbie’s. God, this is so fucking boring._

 

Annoyed, Justin speared a bit of turkey with his fork and shoved it into his mouth, chewing quickly. He avoided looking at his father, who had learned of Justin’s post-dinner plans and immediately told the boy he couldn’t go. He also avoided looking at his mother, angered that she hadn’t come to his defense. 

 

He felt a small hand pat his thigh reassuringly. Justin turned his head slightly and gave Molly a subdued Sunshine smile. At least his little sister always stood by him. 

 

Dinner was overwhelmingly quiet. After saying grace quickly, there hadn’t been much conversation at all. It hadn’t always been like this, but things had been tense between Craig and Justin for a while now. Jennifer couldn’t help but feel exasperated at the stubbornness of the Taylor men. She was tired of this awkwardness and she was tired that Molly and she were constantly being put in the middle. Jennifer didn’t know what had gotten into Craig lately. He had always been an attentive and caring father, despite…

“So Molly sweetheart, how are your swimming lessons going?” Jennifer said, trying to fill the silence around the table. 

 

The small girl smiled up at her mother. “They’re going great Mom! My teacher keeps saying I’m a really good swimmer and if I keep at it I could keep going in high school and maybe even college!” 

 

“That’s great honey,” Jennifer said, grateful for her child’s amiable, light-hearted chatter. “I’m so proud of you. We both are. Aren’t we Craig?” 

 

Craig nodded, swallowing a mouthful of mashed potatoes. “At least my daughter can live up to my expectations,” he sneered. 

 

“Craig…” Jennifer said warningly. 

 

“Mom, may I be excused?” Justin said suddenly, putting his fork down and refusing to look at his father. 

 

“But Justin honey, you haven’t even finished your first serving!” Jennifer noted. She was worried. She knew how healthy an appetite her son had, but she could tell he had become upset by his father’s comment. 

 

“It’s okay, I’m not very hungry,” Justin said truthfully. Truth be told, he had been starving earlier, but Craig’s subtle trash talk had eliminated that hunger. “Besides, I have a lot of homework to do.” He stood up, walked over to where his mother was sitting and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Great dinner though Mom, thanks.” He gave her another one of his subdued smiles, reached over and squeezed Molly’s shoulder, then turned and left, thumping up the stairs to his room loudly. 

 

Justin lingered in the shadows near the stairs, coat on, waiting for a fresh wave of conversation to break out over the dinner table. When it did, he removed his sneakers and went back down the stairs very quietly. Instead of going into the dining room, however, he tiptoed down the hallway to the back door, sat down on the doorstep and slid his shoes back on.

 

Nothing was going to keep him from being with Brian tonight. Not even Craig. He stood back up.

 

A warm, familiar little hand slipped into his. Surprised, Justin started when he looked down and noticed his sister at his side, bundled up in a warm coat, her face barely peaking out from between the scarf and hat. 

 

“Molly? What are you doing? Go back in and have dinner,” Justin urged his sister. Just because he was a reject to his family (or at least to his father) didn’t mean Molly had to be. 

 

The small girl shook her head and smiled up at him. “I’m with you Jester,” she said in a not-so-quiet whisper. 

 

Justin, like the drama princess that Brian called him, felt his eyes well up and a lump form in his throat. He knew Molly, though young, was referring to more than just tonight. 

 

“I hope you don’t ever change Mollusk,” he said softly. 

 

Molly gave her brother’s hand an understanding squeeze, her eyes older than her years. 

 

The two Taylor children slipped into the crisp November night, the moon lighting their path. The first few flakes of the winter were falling. They caught and melted in blond hair as the siblings ran over to the Novotny house, where the lights were on and they knew there would be love, acceptance, not to mention a _real_ dinner…

  

*          *            *

  

“…Great dinner, Sis,” Vic said, patting his stomach. “I think I ate too much.” 

 

“We all did,” Michael added, slumped in his chair. He had unbuttoned the top button of his pants, breathing heavily from all the food. 

 

Brian was shocked. He couldn’t believe he had eaten two platefuls of food. He really couldn’t remember the last time he had done that. 

 

Deb was looking at Brian triumphantly. “Well boys, would you look at this! I managed to get this kid to actually eat! Maybe now he’ll actually get some meat on those bones!”

 

Brian, ever the petulant teenager, rolled his eyes. 

 

“Anyone up for apple pie?” Debbie asked the table cheerfully. 

 

A chorus of low, disbelieving groans went up among the men.

 

Debbie glowered at them all. “Oh you little shits! I told you to save room for the dessert! What the hell am I going to do with a twelve-inch pie? And all this leftover turkey and mashed potatoes?”

 

The doorbell rang shrilly, causing everyone but Brian to flinch. The family noticed the huge smile on Brian’s face, and the look of love and hope that it wore for a split second. 

 

Debbie’s glower disappeared and she also grinned. “Now, I know that has to be Sunshine.” She got up from her place at the table and headed for the front door. 

 

“Hi Debbie!” 

 

Brian’s heart gave a leap in his chest as he recognized Justin’s voice. 

 

“Hi there Sunshine! Oh God, first snow of the season, isn’t it? Here, let me brush you off a little. Oh! Sunshine, who is this cutie you have with you?” 

 

“This is Molly, my little sister. Say hi, Molly.” 

 

“Hi!” 

 

Brian smiled softly to himself when he heard Molly’s chipper voice. He really had come to care a lot about that kid. 

 

“Come in, come in! Go! Sit! You know where the dining room is, Sunshine. I’ll go get you guys some plates. Dessert, right?” 

 

“Yes please!” Molly said cheerfully. 

 

The siblings traipsed into dining room. Justin greeted Vic and Michael and then gave Brian a special, sweet smile that Brian just had to return. The blond boy then brought Molly forward, who had been hanging back, looking shy. He introduced his sister to Vic and Michael. Molly turned to look at Brian and her cheeks blushed pink. Brian always found himself wondering what thoughts went through Molly’s head when she looked at him. He really did hope that she didn’t think of him and Justin together, but he was pretty sure she probably did. Justin and he together had to be fucking hot to watch. 

 

Brian gave Molly a playful wink and then a smile. Molly giggled fiendishly. 

 

Justin gave Molly the chair that had been set up for the blond and looked around for another one. Brian wanted to pull him into his lap, and he would have had Molly not been there, but he was certain Justin would freak out and refuse to do so due to his sister’s presence. So Brian simply scooted over and told Justin they could share the chair. Vic started to get up to see if he scrounge up another chair, but Justin told him not to bother. The taller boy laughed when he found that Justin’s ample little ass took up a lot of the room in the chair. 

 

“Ha ha,” Molly giggled. “Justin has a big butt.” 

 

Justin tossed a glare in his sister’s direction. “I do not.” 

 

“Sure, Sunshine,” Brian smirked. “You don’t have a big butt. The fact that one of my butt cheeks is hanging off the chair doesn’t prove anything.” 

 

Molly collapsed in a fit of giggles. Justin glared at her even more. Molly hid her face in her arms but continued to laugh. 

The insulted blond pouted. “I do NOT have a big ass. Brian just has a bony one.” 

 

“Amen!” Debbie said loudly as she came in from the kitchen carrying two large slabs of apple pie. She placed one plate in front of Justin and the other one in front of his younger, smaller, gigglier counterpart.

 

Vic had been watching the interaction between the kids, smiling to himself. They were all so happy. He hoped that it would last. Both of those boys deserved all the happiness they could get after all the shit they had been through (and were still going through).  

 

“So who are you?” Molly asked, turning to Michael, who had been watching the others, evidently not so pleased. 

 

Michael sniffed condescendingly. He didn’t care any more for this girl than he did for her brother. “I live here,” he said simply, jutting his chin out impudently. 

 

Debbie, as usual, gave him a well-placed smack to the back of the head and turned to the curious young girl. “This is my son, little Sunshine. Don’t mind his manners, or lack thereof.” She gave Michael a glare. 

 

“I’m Brian’s best friend,” Michael added to the girl. 

 

Molly raised an eyebrow. “Nuh uh,” she said. “Justin is Brian’s best friend.”

 

Debbie and Vic shot each other surprised looks. Michael did not look too pleased. 

 

“Yeah right,” he snorted. “Justin’s not Brian’s best friend, little girl. Justin is Brian’s f…”

 

“Michael!” Debbie growled. 

 

Molly was one seriously pissed off kid. “It’s not ‘little girl’, it’s Molly,” she shot back. She didn’t even know this guy really well, but she knew she didn’t like him.

 

Michael sat back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest. He then seemed to have a change of heart and decided to sulk outside. He stood up and announced that he was going to be in the backyard. 

 

Brian was thinking about what Molly had said. Sure, she was just a kid and tended to blurt the first thing that came to mind, but the more he thought about it the more he realized it was true. Justin…Justin was his best friend. His best friend and his lover and his…his boyfriend and his confidante and…

 

“Brian?” Justin said suddenly. 

 

Immediately Brian turned his attention to the blond at his side. “Yeah?” he said, under the table running a hand over Justin’s knee to show he was listening. He then noticed that Justin had already bolted down his apple pie. Once again, he marveled at Justin’s eating capabilities. 

 

“Want to go outside on the porch?” 

 

Brian smiled and simply nodded. 

 

“Me too,” Molly pleaded. She had also already finished her own bit of pie. 

 

Justin looked at her. For a minute, Brian thought he was going to refuse his sister, but something seemed to come over him and he agreed. 

 

They all stopped at the door to put on their coats. The boys waited for Molly to pull on her hat and gloves, then they headed outside. To their surprise, they saw Michael there. 

 

“Weren’t you going to be out back, Mikey?” Brian asked, raising an eyebrow. 

 

Michael squinted at Brian, wondering if his best friend was actually trying to get rid of him. “I was,” he started. “But I decided to stay out here.” He pouted, trying to gain sympathy.

 

Brian was ready to tell him to go back inside, but Justin put a gentle hand on his elbow and whispered something in Brian’s ear. The taller boy turned back to Michael, smiling at him. “Mikey,” he said. “Would you mind watching Molly here for a second?” 

 

Michael started pouting even more. Brian sighed. Unlike when Justin did it, Brian did not find it adorable and sweet. 

 

Molly also looked ready to protest, but she glanced at her brother’s face and seemed to interpret something. She turned to Michael and giggled. “I’ll watch him,” she laughed. 

 

“You, kid, watch _me_?” Michael snapped.  

 

Content, Justin snatched Brian’s hand and they began a slow walk down the sidewalk, but made sure to move away from Justin’s house. The blond knew his sister could put up with Michael. 

 

“Did you manage to get over here okay? Craig give you any shit?” Brian asked, slightly concerned for Justin. 

 

Justin shrugged. “He did. Told me I couldn’t come. I came anyway.” 

 

Brian was glad he had, but he wasn’t sure if Justin would get into trouble when he got back home. He certainly didn’t want his blond exposed to Craig’s rages. “And Molly?” 

 

Justin smiled. “She wanted to come, too. Said she was with me.” The blond’s eyes grew misty again at the memory. 

 

Brian took note and gently shook his head. Sunshine was such a princess. “I really do like that kid,” he said. 

 

Justin nodded. “She’s the best.” He suddenly shivered, rubbing his hands together. “How did it get so fucking cold all of a sudden?” 

 

The brunette drew Justin into his body. “I’ll warm you up,” he said in a husky, low voice. 

 

Both boys clutched each other under the moon, basking in the warmth they created together. The snowflakes were staring to fall harder now. 

 

The blond smiled and brushed a few snowflakes out of Brian’s dark hair. 

 

Brian impulsively grabbed Justin’s hand and pressed a kiss to the palm. He looked into Justin’s beautiful clear eyes, even brighter from the moonlight, and swallowed hard. 

 

“Sunshine?” 

 

Justin smiled again and nodded at him to continue. 

 

“You’re mine,” he managed to say, heart thumping in his chest. “And I…I…I’m so happy. You make me happy.” 

 

The smaller boy beamed. He encircled Brian’s neck, got on his tiptoes, and pressed his lips against Brian’s in a soft, sweet kiss. 

 

They stood there for a few minutes, and then slowly drew their lips apart. They kept close, their foreheads touching lightly. “I’m not cold anymore,” Justin said quietly. 

 

Brian knew it was fucking lesbianic, but he had to say it. “I never was. Not when you’re here.” He kissed the tip of Justin’s little nose, slightly pink from the cold. 

 

Blue eyes shone with love. “Happy,” the blond whispered. “So happy…” 

  

*          *            *

  

… _So unhappy. So lost._

 

The light-haired man rubbed his temple, trying to assuage his headache. This ache had been in him forever. Maybe not forever. But for a long time, at least. 

 

With numb, stiff fingers, the man shuffled around in his pockets, fumbling with his lighter and cigarette. 

 

The flame sparked, its orange light the only illumination in the heavy cloak of darkness, pressing against his from all sides. 

 

He shifted slightly on the rock, watching the waves crash against the shore. He didn’t know how he had ended up here. 

 

Still fairly young. He knew it. His family and friends told him so all the time. But with each passing day he felt himself growing heavier, growing more tired, growing lonelier. 

 

He had a deep hole in his heart. Something was missing. 

 

But he knew very well what it was. It had been several years ago, but it seemed like an eternity. He knew he was dipping into trouble, but he couldn’t help it. For the first time in his life, he had been happy. He had had love. 

 

And suddenly it was gone. All of it. It had all been an illusion, too good to be true.

 

No. He knew it was real. He knew it wasn’t an illusion. But he was scared. Too scared. So scared he had left it all behind without a second thought. And he never came back. 

 

Sometimes he still caught himself wondering what would have happened if he had stayed. He knew he would have been better off. He would’ve actually known happiness. 

 

So much guilt. So much regret. So much. 

 

The man shivered and rubbed his hands together. He was out there. Somewhere. 

 

And he was going to find him. 

  


	14. Fallen Roses

  
Author's notes:

Okay. Well guys, this is going to be a long A/N. So here goes...

Chapter 13 (Out There Somewhere) and Chapter 14 (Fallen Roses) were updated at the same time. So make sure you don't miss Chapter 13 before reading 14 (because 13 has some VERY important stuff that you don't want to miss).   

There has been major problems with this story and this website. I updated the story and added these two chapters back in November. However, as you may know, the administrators of the site have to personally update the story, the chapters dont automatically appear. For some reason, the site is taking WEEKS and sometimes MONTHS to update this story, while other stories are updated the very next day. I really don't know why this is happening. But yes, these two chapters have been written and updated to my LiveJournal wayyy back. My LiveJournal is [blue-sunrises.livejournal.com](http://astele.co.uk/BJfic/Chapter/Details/blue-sunrises.livejournal.com). However, since this story is rated Mature, it is locked to non-friends. So if you have a LiveJournal and want to keep up with this story quicker than it's being posted here, feel free to friend me and I'll friend you back. If you don't have an LJ, feel free to email me at [cplayfan25@gmail.com](mailto:cplayfan25@gmail.com). I would be glad to email you the chapters if you don't have a LiveJournal.  (I strongly suggest getting one though, there is excellent fic over there and you're missing out.) 

So..on to the story. This chapter is pretty heavy...lots of stuff happen...! If you read, please review! :)  Thank you!

 xoxoxo Izzy

* * *

Chapter 14: Fallen Roses

 

AP Biology was possibly the most horrible class Brian had ever taken in his four years as a high school student. He didn’t know what the fuck has possessed him to sign up for this class, even after listening to warnings from the older students. 

 

Looking up from his pointless notes, a smirk slowly spread across Brian’s face. What he had just caught sight of was much more interesting that anything that annoying old fucker Mr. Clarke could teach. 

 

In front of Brian, if he lowered his gaze just slightly, he could catch a glimpse of a plump ass peeking out from between the back support and seat of the hard wooden chair. 

 

Brian congratulated himself on his intimidation skills. He had moved directly behind Justin a few weeks earlier, shunting aside the anxious, nerdy little junior who had previously occupied that seat (who the hell took AP Biology junior year, anyway?). Clarke, he was surprised to note, didn’t even shoot him a dirty look for this offense, which was completely out of character for him. 

 

The tall brunette sighed. He just had to do this. He really had no self-control anymore. 

 

Brian let his pencil slip from his fingers and watched it slowly roll away from him. It reached the end of the desk and he watched it disappear and heard the weak yellow wood hit the floor with a soft plink. 

 

The boy slowly slinked out of his seat and got on his knees as if looking for his pencil, hiding from the teacher’s eyes. When Clarke was looking the other way, Brian slipped one hand between the small gap in the back of Justin’s chair and groped one of the boy’s tempting mounds. 

 

Startled, even though Brian had already done this twice before during previous classes, Justin jumped slightly in his seat with a small yelp. Brian quickly withdrew his hand and looked up innocently, preparing himself for what was to come 

 

Clarke was not fooled. “Mr. Kinney,” he barked. “What are you doing?” 

 

Brian arched a thin eyebrow and got to his feet, twirling his pencil with his fingers. “Just picking up my pencil,” he answered impudently and coolly, aware of the rest of the class staring at him. 

 

Clarke scowled deeply. “Well sit down,” he growled. “And don’t get back up until the end of the period.” 

 

Rolling his eyes as only a teenager could do, Brian slid back into his seat. When Clarke turned back to the list of important vocabulary on the board, he smiled to himself, having achieved what he wanted to do. Justin shot him a reproving but teasing glance over his shoulder. The taller boy gave him a trademark tongue-in-cheek smirk and marveled at the fact that Sunshine never seemed to get in trouble in this fucking class. Like that time when they were doing that boring ass lab. Justin, who was unfortunate enough to have to work with Hobbs and his dimwitted sidekick, had gotten splashed with dye they had been using. Brian immediately knew it had been Hobbs’ fault. The asshole has been sitting there with a huge fucking grin on his face. Brian got him back by scratching up his BMW later that day in the student parking lot. But that was another story. 

 

Anyway, Justin has been splattered with dye. Like a bee to honey, Clarke had literally flown over, buzzing angrily, to where Justin’s group was working. Ordinarily, Clarke would yell at whomever dared spill his precious chemicals, give him or her detention, and make the unlucky fuck clean up the entire classroom during their lunch period. In this case, however, Clarke observed what was going on and slowly walked back o his desk and to his stack of papers to grade without even saying a word. Brian couldn’t believe it. 

 

Brian looked up at the clock and was pleasantly surprised to see that there were only five more minutes until the class came to an end. Clarke had by now finished his daily spiel on cell communication and transduction pathways, or some similar idiotic shit like that. Everybody was packing up and getting ready to flee to their next class. Brian slowly stood up and stretched, then walked over to Justin. Just before the smaller boy closed his notebook, Brian saw a rough sketch of himself in the margins. He smiled cockily. 

 

“Happy birthday, Sunshine,” Brian mumbled sexily. “Did you enjoy my pinch to grow an inch?” 

 

Justin pouted adorably. “Do you really think I need that inch?” 

 

“Not on your ass, that’s for sure.” 

 

A smack silenced his snickers. “No,” Brian grinned. “Not even on your cock. I’m happy with it the way it is. Maybe you could be a little taller, though.” 

 

Justin smacked him again. “You don’t mean that,” he countered, “you know you love holding me and feeling my hair against your chin.” 

 

“Jesus Sunshine,” Brian said, eyes roaming around the classroom. “Say that a little louder, would you? I don’t think you’ve told everyone that I’m a lesbian yet.” 

 

The smaller boy smiled. “I’m so on to you.” 

 

“So you say,” Brian smirked. “But we shall see when I give you my present later on at Debbie’s. Make sure you come; you’re the guest of honor at her little banquet. Everyone’s invited.” 

 

The boy smiled devilishly. “Oh I plan to come,” he grinned. “I plan to do so in several different ways. You’ll give me a hand, won’t you?” 

Brian groaned. “What happened to Debbie’s innocent Sunshine?” 

 

Justin’s smile turned to a glare. “It’s your fault I made it to 18 without having sex.” 

 

Brian raised an eyebrow. “So you wanted me to have no respect for your virtue? Just slam you down one day and fuck you?” 

 

A pleasant shiver ran down Justin’s spine. True, he wanted it to be special, but Brian made an unexpected, slightly rough encounter sound very alluring. 

 

“Maybe…” Justin answered pointedly; making sure Brian was taking mental notes. “But this is so embarrassing, Brian. Although…” A twinkle seemed to gleam in his eyes. “I technically don’t turn 18 until 10:00 tonight. I’m a night baby, which is why I’m not a morning person.” 

 

The other boy grinned. “Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out.” His voice dropped a little lower. “What on earth will I say to Jack and Joan? ‘Sorry, but I had to stay out past curfew, I needed to deflower my boyfriend before the clock struck 10:00.’ Very Cinderall-ian. Except for the deflowering bit, I suppose. And if you even though about putting on a slipper, I’d get the fuck out of there. I don’t want a nelly queen.”

 

The blond boy smiled at Brian’s crudeness, but then seemed to sag, deflating. “You can’t stay longer?” Justin pleaded, disbelievingly. He really didn’t think he could spend his birthday night alone. 

 

Brian took pity on the boy and immediately dropped his act. “I can,” he whispered. “Made plans with Mikey. Even Debbie and Vic are in on it. I told Joan I’m staying over at Deb’s for the night, but I’ll be with you the entire time.”

 

Beaming a Sunshine smile, Justin had to refrain from throwing his arms around Brian’s neck and giving him a soft kiss. “Thanks Brian,” he said gratefully. 

 

The bell rang, and as everyone started exiting the classroom, Brian quickly looked around him to see if anyone was watching and then reached for Justin’s smaller hand. In a most un-Brian-Kinney-like gesture, he squeezed it in reassurance. But he’d been making a lot of these sorts of gestures in the last month or so. 

 

They each picked up their books in their arms and side-by-side, exited the classroom and went off to their next class. 

 

 

*          *            * 

 

 

Jennifer looked at the tiny screen on her cell phone and winced. She had known this was coming and was surprised he hadn’t said anything about it this morning. Though in all honesty, Craig was hardly awake in the mornings. Just stumbled through his shower, shaving, shoveled the eggs Jennifer cooked down his throat, and was off. Oh well. It was time to face the music. Even if she was in the middle of a supermarket pushing a shopping cart with one hand. 

 

“Hello Craig.” 

 

“Jen,” he answered brusquely. “Listen, I have five minutes until an important customer gets in. What time should I get off tonight? Seven? Will you have the dinner done by then?” 

 

Jennifer sighed, knowing she was going to fire up her errant husband with what she said next. “There won’t be a birthday dinner,” she answered as calmly as she could. “At least not at our house.” 

 

A pause on the other end of the line. “You mean,” Craig said in a low, deadly voice, “that Justin’s going to that loud red-haired woman’s house for his birthday instead of spending it here with his family?” 

 

“Yes.” Point-blank. No nonsense. 

 

Craig broke out in an angry shout. “That’s bullshit, Jen! Did you tell Justin this was all right?!” 

 

“Yes,” Jennifer answered demurely, trying to maintain her cool, WASP façade in front of all the other shoppers. “It’s his birthday, Craig. He should be able to spend his day the way he wants.” 

 

A snort of disdain on the other end of the line. “Are you actually being serious, Jen?” Craig growled. “That is really just bullshit. He’s spending entirely too much time over there with those crazy people. Jen, they’re just not OUR type of people.” 

 

Jennifer was getting frustrated, but was trying desperately not to show it. “Maybe not Craig, but Justin adores that family. Maybe…” she swallowed hard, unwilling to acknowledge this possibility “…maybe they give him something we can’t. He’s always been such a quiet boy, you should be grateful he wants to get out and associate more. You’re always telling him to.” Jennifer passed one of her acquaintances from the bridge club and gave her a weak smile. 

 

“I want Justin to associate more, but not with THOSE people, can’t you understand that?” 

 

Jennifer had reached her breaking point. “No,” she said adamantly. “No Craig, I’m afraid I can’t. Have a good day at work, and don’t bother coming home early.” 

 

And she hung up, amazed at her own bravery. The phone began to vibrate again, almost at once, but Jennifer let it go to voicemail. She had had with Craig and his pompous ways. 

 

Slipping her phone back into her purse, Jennifer picked up her shopping list once again and pushed the cart into the cereal aisle, picking up a healthy bran cereal for her and Craig and one of those sugary ones for her two children. Though she gave off the appearance that she had nothing else on her mind, she was distracted, her mind reeling. She had come to a decision. 

 

Her days of giving in to Craig were done. She was going to start putting Justin and Molly first. 

 

 

*          *            * 

 

 

“Totally last minute Brian,” Emmett sighed, sashaying down Liberty Avenue at Brian’s side. “You just had to wait until the day of Justin’s birthday, didn’t you?” 

 

Brian tossed him a glare. “Shut the fuck up, Honeycutt,” he shot back. “I picked up what I had to and I’m going over to Mikey’s and getting it done. You have to be there at least an hour before Justin gets there. We’re setting stuff up.” 

 

“Oooh!” Emmett squealed in delight. “I LOVE party-planning! And decorating! I’m going to make this little fiesta wonderful for our darling princess! The boy does know, I assume?” 

 

Brian nodded. “No surprise shit. I’ve always thought that whole idea is fucked up. You make the person think no one remembers their birthday and no one gives them presents, so throughout the whole day they’re moping around feeling miserable. Well, that’s not going to happen to Justin.” 

 

Emmett was gazing at Brian in wonder, almost proudly. “Why Brian Kinney has a heart. I don’t know why I’m all of a dither, I’ve known that for a while now!” He clapped his hands excitedly. 

 

The other boy groaned. “I don’t know why I’m letting everyone see me with such a flaming queen.” 

 

Emmett pouted, batting his eyelashes. “Oh Mr. Kinney,” he sang out. “I bet you say that to all the girls!” 

 

Brian gave him another glare. They had reached the Liberty Diner. 

 

The two tall boys paraded into the diner, taking a seat in their regular booth. Michael was already there, finishing up some of his homework. 

 

“Brian!” Michael exclaimed. “Thank God, I really don’t get this trigonometry shit at all…what’s in the bag?” he said suspiciously, trying to get a peek into the shopping bag at Brian’s side. 

 

Brian tossed his light jacked over the bag. “Part of Sunshine’s present,” he said smoothly. “You’ll see it tonight. Maybe.” 

 

“Ooooh, I can’t wait,” Emmett gushed adoringly. “It’s going to be precious, I know it is.”

 

Michael’s eyes seemed to dart back and forth and he bit back something that was on the tip of his tongue. “Right,” he muttered, going back to his math homework. 

 

“Hey kids. TGIF, huh?” Deb said, suddenly appearing next to the booth. “You all want something or are you just being a pain in the ass?” She studied the boys.

 

 “Hey,” Emmett said suddenly. “Where’s the birthday boy?” he asked, folding his arms across his chest. “Isn’t he working today?”

 

“Gave him the day off,” Deb answered. “No kid should work on his birthday.” 

 

“He’ll be by later. His mom knows he’s spending the evening with us, so she wanted him home at least a little while,” Brian answered smoothly. 

 

“Good,” Debbie said approvingly. “I hate to take the boy away from his family, but sometimes it seems as if we’re the only family Sunshine has. Except darling little Sunshine. Shame she can’t come.” 

 

“Yeah…” Brian replied. “I love that kid, but she has a tendency to come in when she’s not needed. And tonight…well…Justin and I don’t need any interruptions.” 

 

“Oooh!” Emmett squealed, fanning himself with one hand, the other flat against his chest. 

 

Deb shook her head, snapping her gum. “I can’t believe I’m harboring horny teenage boys inside my home. Well if you’re getting laid in my house, at least I know you’re safe.” She gave Brian a stern look. “You better play safe tonight, you little shit.” 

 

Brian gave her a withering look. 

 

“And that goes for you and Ben too,” Deb said, turning to glare at her son. 

 

Michael looked up from his notebook, shocked. His equations had turned into a doodle of Captain Astro. “Ma!” he protested. 

 

Brian grinned, but waited until Deb had moved away. “Planning on getting laid tonight, Mikey?” he said. “You could do with a fuck.” 

 

Emmett sighed. “I want a hunky boy too!” he said, feeling utterly sorry for himself. “Poor Emmett.” 

 

Brian snorted, then turned his attention back to Michael. “So Ben’s coming, huh?” he said. “Well make sure to keep him good and entertained, Mikey. After about 9:30 Justin and I will be MIA until tomorrow.” 

 

Michael didn’t say anything, but Emmett caught the glowing look on Brian’s face. He had suspected for a very long time that Brian had stopped tricking after he got together with Sunshine. This wild happiness at the prospect of tonight only seemed to confirm his suspicions. A year ago he wouldn’t have believed that Brian Kinney could keep it in his pants for a few months, but now…Emmett honestly hadn’t seen such a change in someone in his life. And what made it sweeter was that Brian Kinney was still Brian Kinney. No bullshit, no nonsense, straightforward Brian Kinney. Just not with Justin Taylor. 

 

Emmett sighed again. He needed a boyfriend. Badly. 

 

 

*          *            *

 

 

“Uggggh,” Brian groaned. “Thanksgiving Part II.” 

 

The boys were sprawled in the living room after an extremely thorough birthday dinner. Deb was simply unflappable. And the cake was still to come…

 

“What do we do now?” Michael piped up, looking happier than Brian had seen him in a while. He was leaning against Ben, content and for once not moody. Brian figured that someone else was what he needed. Hopefully Mikey’s silly little crush would go away. 

 

“How about a movie?” Emmett suggested, chancing a look at Ben’s gorgeous friend. He couldn’t believe Ben had brought along this delicious morsel. Michael had assured him several times throughout the course of the evening that he hadn’t said anything to Ben about bringing someone for Emmett, but the skinny, swishy boy wasn’t buying it. It had bothered him in the beginning, but now…it seemed as if he would owe Michael for life. 

 

Drew Boyd was a college football player. Tall, handsome, strapping…still in the closet, but Emmett was sure he could work on that…and smart. He was Ben’s roommate over at Carnegie Mellon. He had given Emmett an interested look when they had been introduced and to Emmett’s pleasure, had talked to him a lot throughout the dinner. Emmett was ecstatic. He was sure this could turn into something wonderful. The last sexual encounter he’d had was ages ago, with that jerk who got them into Babylon only for a quick fuck. Older men were for the most part lovely, but Emmett had learned to be wary of their intentions with much younger men. 

 

Drew smiled at him. “I’m up for a movie.” 

 

Almost swooning under the hunk’s gaze, Emmett turned to Justin, who was currently snuggled against Brian’s chest, whispering something in his ear. “How about you, baby? It’s your party, after all.” 

 

Turning away from Brian, Justin nodded. “Sure. Just until we cut the cake, anyway. By then it’ll be 9:30.” He giggled and turned back to Brian and they kissed lightly. 

 

After getting everyone else’s approval, Emmett began flipping through Vic’s movie collection. He grinned when he saw what was on the lowest shelf, pushed to the back. “Oh look. 80’s gay porn!” 

 

Ben laughed. “Good old Vic.” 

 

“You are not watching gay porn in my house!” Debbie screeched from the kitchen, where she and Vic were keeping an eye on the baking cake and (for the most part) minding their own business. 

 

The group eventually settled on _Troy_ and got caught up in it for almost half an hour. Everyone sat back, admiring Brad Pitt’s body quietly. Once in a while someone made a remark about the possible homoeroticism between Patroclus and Achilles. 

 

“I hate how they make them seem like cousins here,” Brian commented. “Good old Hollywood, squaring away homosexuality.” 

 

“That’s why _Alexander_ is better,” Ben replied. “At least they leave Alexander and Hephaeston’s relationship open to interpretation.”  

 

“Cake! All you little shits in the dining room now!” Debbie called. 

 

Shutting off the television, all of the boys headed into the dining room and took their seats around the table. Debbie had her ancient Polaroid out. She claimed they were better because the pictures developed instantaneously. 

 

The lights were dimmed and the candles were lit. Just before they started singing Happy Birthday, Justin protested the seating arrangements and said that he wanted Brian sitting next to him, right next to him at the head of the table. 

 

“Sunshine, it’s your day,” Brian started. 

 

“…I don’t care,” Justin said, pouting. “I want you right next to me, sharing the seat.” 

 

Emmett reached up and laid his hand over his heart, almost bawling at the sweetness. 

 

Everyone watched as the Great Brian Kinney got up from his seat and joined Justin, completely obedient. Though everyone knew better than to point it out to him, many exchanged gleeful glances. 

 

The singing commenced and Justin looked around at everyone, beaming. This was probably one of his better birthdays. His surrogate family surrounded him, and his boyfriend was here, right here. He missed Molly and Jennifer terribly, but he knew they were always with him. They had celebrated his birthday earlier on in their own way. 

 

The singing stopped and everyone looked at him expectantly. Justin grinned and shut his eyes, thinking of the perfect wish. When he had it, he leaned forward and gripping Brian’s hand, blew out the candles just as Debbie snapped a quick picture. 

 

The room was plunged into darkness and everyone cheered. When Vic flipped the lights back on, no one was surprised to see Brian and Justin locked in a passionate kiss. 

 

Emmett hooted and the boys broke apart, looking into the other’s eyes dreamily. 

 

“Is it 9:30 yet?” Justin murmured. 

 

“9:15,” Brian answered, admiring the blond’s eyes. 

 

“Close enough,” Justin answered, and he pulled Brian up. Quickly he kissed Debbie and Vic, thanking them profusely for the dinner and the cake. Debbie winked at Brian and handed him the picture she’d just taken. Justin and Brian bid farewell to Drew, Ben, and Michael. Emmett pulled the blond into a hug and whispered “Go get him, baby” in his ear. 

 

And they were off, upstairs. Everyone heard the guest bedroom door shut with a slam. 

 

“I think we should all wear earplugs tonight,” Deb commented. “God, I’ve missed the sounds of gay sex.” 

 

“Ma!” 

 

“Aw, come on Sis, they didn’t need to hear that,” Vic grinned, noting the looks of horror on the young faces. 

 

“Well Vic, I think it’s best for us to stay down here,” Deb grinned. “Unless you want to hear those boys.” 

 

“I wouldn’t mind,” Vic mused.  

 

“Uh Ma…” Michael looked at Ben, who gave him an encouraging look and nod. “…Ben’s going to be staying over.” 

 

Deb gave them a searching look. For the first time, Michael saw Ben fidget nervously under Debbie’s gaze, which surprised him. He was always so calm and Zen-like. 

 

Debbie gently cuffed both boys lightly under their chins and went into the living room. 

 

Vic smiled at the bewildered boys. “That’s her blessing,” he clarified. He also turned away and went into the living room. 

 

Michael took Ben’s hand and gently pulled him up the stairs, his heart thumping. This was it. He hadn’t planned on it, but Ben was going to be his first. He hadn’t completely given up on Brian, but…for some reason, the idea that Brian was up there with Justin, kissing him, about to make love to him…certainly it still bothered him a little, but nowhere near as much as it had. He had his own man. 

 

Emmett watched at Michael and Ben also disappeared up the stairs. He sighed. Two cherries were going to be popped in the same night in the same house. Nervously, he turned to Drew, who was looking at him with gorgeous, smoldering eyes. 

 

“I’m going to be alone tonight in my room,” he said quietly. “Obviously Ben’s not coming home tonight…but we don’t have to do anything.” He looked up at Emmett with pleading eyes.

 

Emmett suddenly came to the realization that Drew had no experience with gay sex and wanted to know more. “Oh honey,” he said, patting Drew’s arm. “You’re the one who needs to take it slow. But I think it’s a good idea. Let’s go.” 

 

They both called goodbye to Debbie and Vic and shut the door. Emmett could not have been happier.

 

 

*          *            * 

 

 

Brian shut the door behind him and locked it. He turned to look at Justin, who was bouncing around, turning back the covers and nervously jiggling around. The tall brunette decided to wait until he (somewhat) calmed. 

 

Soon Justin realized that he had nothing else to fidget with and decided to sit on the very edge of his bed, nervous, apprehensive, but determined. He’d been waiting for this for a very long time. 

 

Brian gave the blond boy a comforting smile and walked towards him. He sat down right next to him and gathered his smaller hands in his larger ones. Turning them up, Brian lightly peppered soft kisses on the soft palms, trying his best to calm the boy. 

 

“Scared?” he said quietly. “It’s okay if you are.” 

 

Justin sighed softly at the warm breath fluttering over his palms. “I just want it to be perfect,” he answered just as quietly. 

 

Brian lifted his head and ran his fingers through the blond hair. “It will be,” he said. “Don’t worry. But first…I have to give you my present.”

 

Justin beamed with pleasure. Earlier at the present-opening ceremony, he had felt shocked and saddened when he noticed that there wasn’t one from Brian. 

 

“I wanted to give it to you in private,” he whispered. 

 

He got up and fetched something hidden in the closet. He sauntered over and handed it to Justin. 

 

A gasp. Justin’s hand stroked the front of the album cover. He could tell that Brian had decorated it himself. There on the front, in big gold letters, read BRIAN AND JUSTIN.  

 

The blond opened it and gazed down in awe. On every page there were pictures. Pictures at the gallery, pictures of them just goofing around, pictures of them outside in the snow on Thanksgiving night. 

 

Justin looked up at him. “How did you do this?” he asked, his voice nearly breaking. 

 

Brian smiled at him. “I got Vic in on it,” he answered. “When we left Molly and Michael on the porch…I told him to take pictures.” 

 

Justin turned to the last filled page that read JUSTIN’S BIRTHDAY. He watched as Brian took the Polaroid Debbie had snapped, which had already developed, and slipped it into the sleeve.

 

“It’s beautiful Brian,” Justin said, his eyes shining. “Thank you.” He set the album down gently on the nightstand and leaned forward to kiss Brian.

 

The brunette leaned Justin back gently against the sheets and adjusted him so that he would be comfortable. Slowly, he began removing Justin’s clothes first.

 

The blond shivered in a mixture of nervousness and his skin coming in contact with the cool air. His heart was pounding wildly in his chest. He realized that Brian was tugging lightly on his jeans and he lifted his hips to aid him, biting his lip anxiously. 

 

Brian smiled when he noticed that Justin wasn’t wearing briefs. “Ready, are we?” he said softly to Justin, who smiled back as pink color touched his cheeks briefly. 

 

This was the first time Brian had seen Justin completely naked. He could feel his mouth watering slightly at the delicious sight. He was beautiful, ethereal. And his. 

 

The brunette pulled off his own clothes with less leisure, though Justin was just as stunned at the sight of his nakedness. Brian sighed; it had been much too long since he’d seen adoring glances. He lay down next to Justin and pulled the heavy blanket around them. Drawing the smaller boy into his side, he reveled in the feel of Justin’s soft, pale skin against his own. He was pleasantly warm. 

 

Justin carefully ran his fingers up and down Brian’s chest. He had done this before, but never against his bare skin. He was pleased to see that his touch also raised goose bumps on the tanned skin. 

 

“Okay?” Brian asked after a few minutes of just getting used to this feeling. He pressed a gentle kiss to Justin’s shoulder. 

 

A soft little sigh. “Perfect.” 

 

Brian knew it was time to take this further. Propping himself on his elbow and maneuvering Justin to do the same, he moved his hips very gently against Justin’s, both boys sucking in a breath of air as their cocks bumped together. Justin’s eyes shut tight and he let out a choked little gasp as his sensitive skin grazed Brian’s. 

 

The young lovers gazed into each other’s eyes once again, both reading the jumble of emotions hidden in them. Brian gently began stroking Justin’s hip, fingers gently rubbing into the soft spots along his thigh. The blond’s vision grew hazy as the other boy’s fingers curled into the wiry hair at his groin. He let out a soft little moan, dropping his forehead against Brian’s, looking down to watch the taller boy’s fingers tangle into the blond bush. The sight alone turned him on so much more than he thought was possible. 

 

Pushing the smaller boy gently on his back, Brian pressed his lips against Justin’s, tongue probing into the warmth, seeking out his lover’s addictive taste. He traveled downward; alternating between kisses, nips, and licks, down Justin’s throat, chest, and stomach. 

 

“Brian…” 

 

Without warning Brian slipped the boy’s swollen penis into his mouth. Justin’s mind went into a frenzy, arching his hips fervently, wanting to feel more. Brian had blown him before, but this…this felt a thousand times better. He fought to keep his eyes open and watched at his brunette gently suckled him, lapping up the precum dribbling out of the gaping slit, tongue slipping downward to swipe over his balls. 

 

And suddenly, so suddenly, Justin was there. He climaxed, colors flashing behind his eyelids, crying out, a hand clenched in Brian’s dark hair. His entire body trembled and shuddered with the aftershocks. 

 

Brian pressed his lips to Justin’s, sharing the remnants of his younger lover’s cum. He could feel Justin smile against his mouth as the blond tasted himself. The thought turned him on more than he thought it would. 

 

His own cock was throbbing with want for release. Justin moved to do something about it, but Brian halted him. “This is your night, Sunshine,” he whispered. 

 

He pushed Justin onto his stomach lightly and started the process all over again, kissing and nipping down Justin’s back until he reached the two soft mounds. Brian stroked them lightly; Justin did have a beautiful ass. Parting them gently, his cock jumped as he spotted the tight pink bud hidden between his cheeks. 

 

Brian proceeded to touch Justin’s puckered hole ever so slightly with his tongue. Justin moaned loudly; he had never dreamed anything could feel like this. His hands clutched at the sheets and he let out a keen as Brian’s tongue darted into his hole. It kept getting better and better. 

 

Sweat broke out on Justin’s skin and he panted loudly, tongue peeking out between his lips as Brian’s talented tongue kept up its motions, carefully slipping in and out of the tight bud. 

 

The blond boy was so turned on he didn’t even notice when one finger slipped in beside Brian’s tongue. Slowly Brian removed his tongue and pressed another finger inside. 

 

Justin whimpered at the loss of Brian’s tongue. He shut his eyes tight and whimpered again as he began to feel the slight burn. When he felt Brian begin to scissor his fingers he buried his face in the pillow and sighed softly. His cock was completely hard again.

 

Suddenly the fingers were gone and Brian had flipped him over once again. Justin saw the lust burning in Brian’s beautiful hazel eyes and felt a pleasant tingle in his spine. His breath got caught in his throat when he saw Brian’s swollen cock between his thighs. The blond always knew Brian was big, but for some reason, at this moment, he looked so much bigger than normal. 

 

The brunette leaned in to give Justin another kiss, one hand gently stroking the side of his face. “Put your legs on my shoulders,” he said quietly, helping Justin to raise his legs and position them accordingly. 

 

He caught sight of the fear on the blond’s face and gently stroked the sides of his thighs, comforting him with his touch. 

 

“Just…go slow,” Justin pleaded, even though he knew Brian would. 

 

A gentle nod and he felt Brian’s hardness bumping against his hole. He shivered, feeling exposed, feeling anxious, but also feeling happier than he could remember being. 

 

“I love you,” Brian whispered softly. 

 

Justin cried out as he began to feel the head of Brian’s cock stretch his hole, trying to gain access to his warmth. Bit by bit it slipped in, the taller boy peppering his face with gentle kisses. Finally he was seated, his swollen balls resting against his lover’s ass. 

 

“It hurts,” Justin panted, his eyes screwed shut. “Does it always hurt?”

 

“A little bit,” Brian whispered back, “but that’s part of it.” He waited until the pain began to disappear from Justin’s face, feeling the blond’s hole loosen gradually and accept him into his body.

 

Finally, Justin opened his eyes in a flash of blue. Brian let out a shuddery breath at the love, fire, and adoration in the beautiful eyes. He began to move his hips forward, thrusting gently. 

 

“I…” his words were lost in the next thrust. “I want you to always remember this. So that…whatever happens…I’ll always be there.” 

 

Justin’s hand stroked his hair. “Always,” he echoed, leaning up and capturing Brian’s lips in his. 

 

They moved against each other, faster and harder, Brian’s thrusts growing more and more powerful. The pain gone, Justin got lost in their own rhythm, gasping and moaning. He felt the pressure building and building, escalating to a point. 

 

With one last thrust, Justin’s head fell back and he let out a scream as he came with his most powerful orgasm yet. Brian soon followed, collapsing onto Justin’s body, though mindful not to hurt the smaller boy. 

 

They lay there for several minutes, their heartbeats slowing, reveling in each other’s scent. Brian finally gathered the strength to roll off of Justin and gather him into his arms. 

 

Content, Justin curled into Brian’s side. He was so happy. He looked across at the clock and noted that it was 9:55. He tilted his head up and nuzzled Brian’s chin, then motioned to the clock. A smile made its way onto Brian’s face. 

 

They both lay there happily, watching as the clock finally reached 10:00.

 

“Happy birthday Sunshine,” Brian whispered. 

 

Justin giggled. “That…that was wonderful, Brian.” He sighed. “I can’t believe it. I’m 18 and in love.” 

 

Brian smiled at him, leaning in quickly for another kiss. 

 

“Mmm…more?” Justin said, looking up into Brian’s eyes. 

 

Brian grinned. 

 

“What can I say?” the blond smiled. “You do know how to make a boy want more.” 

 

“Shhh,” Brian whispered. “Less talk, more cock.” 

 

“How sweet,” Justin cooed, and they both started to kiss again. 

 

 

*          *            *

 

 

Debbie turned to see Justin happily skip into the diner. He quickly tied on his apron and grinned at her. 

 

She smiled, shaking her head. The boy was blissful, simply glowing. This morning she’d had to put up with four boys in a state of post-coital ecstasy, smiling at everything. Not that she’d minded. It had been a little strange to see her own son like that, but she accepted that he wasn’t a baby anymore. She should be grateful. Her own brother had started having sex at a much younger age. 

 

Many people started coming for lunch and the diner got quite busy. Emmett sauntered in, side-by-side with Drew. Justin beamed and hurried over to them, glad that they had taken a seat at one of his tables. 

 

“So how was it baby?” Emmett said excitedly. 

 

Justin sighed. “It was perfect, Emmett. Amazing. And his birthday present was so, so sweet.” 

 

“What was it?” Emmett asked curiously. 

 

The blond smiled just thinking about it. “A photo album with pictures from the gallery, Thanksgiving, and my birthday. And from times when we were just together.” 

 

Emmett sighed at the thought. “I can’t believe it. You’ll have to give me the juicy details later on, baby.” 

 

Justin shook himself out of his thoughts. “I’m so sorry, Emmett! How was your night?” 

 

The taller boy grinned at him. “Wonderful, baby! Just wonderful! Wasn’t it, Drewsie?” he asked the muscular young man next to him, who blushed. 

 

Justin giggled. “Guess everyone had a good night. Ben and Michael fucked, too.” 

 

Emmett sighed again. “Isn’t it perfect? All of us got laid. No jealousy, no nothing. Everything is perfect.” He looked around. “Where’s Brian on this fine day?” 

 

“Had to go home real quick and pretend he was coming home from a sleepover,” the blond answered. “He’ll be by soon.” 

 

Justin took his friends’ orders and bustled around the diner from table to table, smiling, just thinking about his Brian and waiting for him to step through the door. 

 

*          *            *

 

Brian stepped out of the florist shop and happily strode down Liberty Avenue to the diner. Several months ago he wouldn’t have dreamed of buying flowers, but today…today called for them. 

 

He had had a fantastic night. Justin and he had made love for hours into the night. Brian swore he had never come so hard and so many times in one night. In the morning, he opened up his eyes to see Justin curled up with a blanket, propped against the wall and sketching him naked and asleep. He smiled and hugged Justin against his body and they had sex again. 

 

They showered together traded blowjobs. By the time they parted after breakfast, they were both very happy. 

 

Brian had had to suffer through fucking Jack’s snide remarks about Debbie and her family, with Joanie joining in, commenting on their “disgusting and sinful” lifestyle. He said he needed to pick up some things for a school project and was gone, out of the house as soon as possible. 

 

He’d passed the florist shop on his way to the diner and looked through the window at the roses. He knew his blond, knew he was a hopeless romantic. So he’d picked up a bouquet, a smile making its way onto his face just thinking about Justin’s face when he saw them. 

 

The diner came into view down the street as he approached it. He smiled. He couldn’t wait to see Justin. 

 

 

*          *            *

 

The diner had gotten even busier. Justin hurried over to Emmett’s table and plunked their food down. In his haste he spilled Drew’s Coke all over himself. Cursing softly and apologizing profusely, he ran to the back, running tap water onto his shirt, trying to get a stain out. 

 

“Sunshine,” one of the other waiters called, “there’s a gorgeous guy waiting for you in the front.” 

 

Beaming, Justin knew it was Brian. Giving up on his shirt, he hurried over to the front and stopped in his tracks. 

 

“Matt.” 

 

He couldn’t believe it. Right there in front of him stood Matt Albright, the ex-boyfriend. The one he had started to love before Brian, the one he had invited to Babylon what seemed like years ago. It was him, sure a little more haggard and thinner than he had been the last time Justin had seen him, but it was Matt. 

 

“Justin.” 

 

After the initial shock had passed and it had registered that it was Matt in front of him, Justin glared at the taller boy. “What are you doing here?” he asked. “You should leave. I don’t want you here.” 

 

He was about to flounce off when he saw Matt’s eyes fill with tears. “Justin,” he whispered. “Justin, I’m so sorry. I know I was a jerk, but I need to tell you something. I need your help.” 

 

The blond’s anger began to dissipate. Matt looked so forlorn and lost and sad. Sure, he wasn’t going to completely forgive him, but Justin wasn’t a monster. 

 

“What happened, Matt?” he asked curiously. 

 

“Please,” Matt said hoarsely. “Please.” He held out his arms to Justin, as if he needed help standing.

 

Hesitating, Justin stepped forward and hugged him. He had no idea what was wrong with him, but he was going to make it perfectly clear that they could be friends, but that Brian was his boyfriend now. 

 

Outside the diner, Brian gaped at the scene playing out through the window, his heart twisting in his chest. The pain changed to anger. He dropped the roses onto the ground, rage burning in his eyes, and he marched away. 

 

Justin had not noticed him.


	15. A New Home

  
Author's notes:

Hello everyone! So sorry for the late update! I know you may not like where the chapter ends, but please bear with me! If you read, please read and review. Also, here is my LJ: blue-sunrises.livejournal.com. If you have an LJ, feel free to friend me, you'll get quicker access to my updates and posts. And if you don't have an LJ, I strongly reccomend you get one, there's wonderful fan fic by numerous authors waiting for you over there!

 Thanks for sticking around :) 

xoxoxo Izzy

* * *

 Chapter 15: A New Home

 

Brian stormed into his house and slammed the door shut behind him. He was pulsing with fury, shaking in a combination of anger, shock, disbelief, and deep sadness. He went into his room, brusquely brushing aside anything that tried to get in his way, including a pair of old, mud-caked boots, an empty beer bottle, and Joanie. Jack wasn’t there, but even if he had been, Brian wouldn’t have given the fucker a second thought. 

 

He slammed his bedroom door as well and collapsed on his bed, punching his pillow a couple of times in utter frustration, resisting the temptation to pick up something, anything, and throw it against his mirror, shattering the image of the depraved teenage boy he saw there.  

 

Brian fumed quietly for a few minutes, thinking it all over. So Matt was back. Back and Justin ran straight into his arms, throwing away what they had. The fucking whore. 

 

A soft protest whispered through his mind, urging him to find out what exactly had happened before jumping to conclusions. Brian batted it away, hatred spilling over in his body, hatred for Matt, for Justin, for all the lies and love and deceit and trust. 

 

He had tried, on his way back to this God forsaken house, to deny what he had observed. Refused, for a paltry few minutes, to believe that his Justin could toss their relationship away like that. 

 

And yet…

 

The incredibly soft look on Justin’s face as he squeezed Matt tightly in a loving embrace. The way his eyelashes brushed against his cheek as he closed his eyes, shutting out everything but what he was feeling at that moment. Shutting out everything but love. Justin and Matt’s love. 

 

A lump formed in his throat and to his dismay a choking gasp tore from his throat, as if by force. Brian swallowed hard, fighting to hold his tears back. 

 

He leaped up from his bed and ran down the stairs. Joan had settled into the loveseat, reading the latest church newsletter with a glass of wine and a half-empty bottle at her side. 

  _Time to take a leaf out of Jack and Joanie’s book, then._

The tall, angry young man seized the handle of the refrigerator door and pulled it open. He grabbed three of Jack’s beers and went upstairs, locking the door behind him, collapsing on his bed. He opened the first beer. 

 

This was his home now. Not Justin. Not anymore. The drink. The drink was everything. The drugs. The tricks. The fucking. That was all he knew. That was all he deserved to know. How silly, to think he, Brian Kinney, could have more. 

  _"What the little boyfriend doesn't know won't hurt him."_ _“But…you’re pretty cool, Brian. We can be friends.”_ _“This is nice, isn’t it? You do realize that I have you now? That I won?”_ _“So happy.”_ _“I love you.”_

_“I want you to always remember this.”_

 

And then something Brian could scarcely remember, could not remember, could not understand why it was in his head…

  _“It’ll never be never for us.”_

Finished. Gone.

 

  _Justin was never your home,_ a voice whispered in his head.

 

_I know_ , Brian answered the voice, as he took the first taste of his salvation. 

  

*          *            *

  

Justin kept tossing glances out the window of the diner. His break had started over twenty minutes ago and Brian had not shown. He sighed, accepting the fact that something had probably come up, and turned his attention to Matt, who had been patiently waiting for him to recognize and admit to himself that Brian wasn’t coming. 

 

As the blond looked over the taller, dark-haired boy, he realized he no longer felt the old thrill, the old passion. There was still warmth there of course, still worry, still concern, still affection. But love? No. That belonged to Brian. Completely. Utterly. Helplessly. 

 

He smiled. 

 

Matt smiled back, mistakenly interpreting the smile as for him. “It’s good to see you, Justin.” 

 

The other boy cocked an eyebrow and tilted his head to the side slightly. “Even though we didn’t necessarily part on the best of terms?” 

 

Matt chuckled. “I believe the exact words were ‘Fuck you very much, you piece of shit!’”

They both smiled again at that, though with a hint of sadness. Evidently the two boys still felt pain at the thought of their last encounter. 

 

“So what brings you back?” Justin asked. He wanted to know the reason for this visit, so he could get to the phone and give Brian a call. He was worried. Brian wasn’t the type that blew someone else off, especially not the ones he cared about. Well, maybe Michael sometimes, but the small, dark-haired boy could be quite annoying. 

 

All the light went out of Matt’s eyes and he swallowed hard. He looked down, intently studying the whirl patterns on the wood tabletop, then raised his eyes to meet Justin’s unwavering blue gaze. 

 

“It’s a long story. And it explains a lot. What really happened that night. Why I needed space. Why…why everything.” 

 

Justin studied his ex-boyfriend intently. He had known Matt for a long time, for ages it seemed. And yet he could not recall a time in memory that he had seen Matt as anything other than strong and sturdy. Except for now. 

 

“So tell me.” 

 

A shuddery, breathy sigh escaped Matt’s slightly chapped lips. 

 

“Do you remember…do you remember that time you called me during your first day of school here in the Pitts? You were feeling homesick? And I was at the doctor’s office back home?” 

 

Justin remembered. He remembered it very well. “You said it was a sports physical,” he said in monotonous, almost robotic tone. “Basketball season was coming up.” And he remembered the nagging little feeling he had decided not to voice. “It wasn’t just a sports physical, was it?” 

 

Matt took a deep breath and shook his head. He opened his mouth, but could utter no words. 

 

“What was it?” 

 

A soft, choking murmur, so soft Justin wasn’t sure he had heard correctly, but at the same time knew nothing else was possible. “ I was having tests done at the hospital, but for a different reason. Leukemia. We tried everything, but they caught it too late. I’m terminal.” 

 

Justin pressed his eyes closed, his head a whirl of colors, sounds, smells, and shapes. He was being assaulted with sensory images, everything he imagined the eight-letter word entailed. 

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

 

Miserable half-laugh. “And worry you? Upset you? Risk losing you? When you were the only thing I ever really cared about?” 

 

Slowly, anger began to build up in Justin’s body. “So that’s the kind of person you think I am?” he demanded, balling his hands into fists. “I could have handled it. I would have helped you. I wouldn’t have tossed you aside. But you tossed me aside. And you lost me.”

 

“No,” Matt gasped out, as Justin started to rise from the booth. “No Justin. Please don’t. Not now. Not ever.” 

 

“Not ever?” Justin questioned, looking into Matt’s eyes. “You forced me away, Matt! Remember? ‘I’m going through some shit right now and I don’t need you hanging onto me!’ Your words, not mine! Don’t think I forgot! So why are you back?” He knew he was being cruel, knew he should not be acting this way with someone so sick, but he couldn’t help it. 

 

Matt turned away, his eyes closing. “I couldn’t leave things the way they were. I couldn’t…I couldn’t go. I couldn’t… _die_. Not without telling you the truth.” 

 

Justin sat back down, rubbing his eyes and temples. Suddenly he had a splitting headache. And he was suddenly tired, so tired. 

 

“So why did you come that night?” the smaller boy asked, almost folding in on himself. “To Babylon? Now that I remember, you seemed out of sorts. Especially towards the end.” 

 

Tears welled up in Matt’s eyes. “I was never there for you at St. James. Never. Not once. I just stepped aside and let my friends shit all over you. I made you hide what you really were. I made you hide our happiness, our relationship. And once our parents found out, my part in this was all hushed up while yours was exposed to the world. So for once…” the boy hurriedly brushed away his tears with the sleeve of his thin, worn, school basketball jacket, “for once, I wanted to be there for you. Supporting you. The real you. Even though I knew I was going to let you go at the end of the night.” 

 

All anger was gone. Justin’s blue eyes were pitying and sympathetic. “Oh. Oh, Matt.” 

 

Matt gestured to the front of his jacket, pointing to his name, number, and varsity position, tears spilling down his cheeks. He made no move to clean them up this time. “And for what? For _this_? It all means shit. And at St. James I chose it over you. _You_ , Justin!” A sniffle. “The only person who was ever mine. The only person who gave a damn about Matt Albright the gay teen. The only person who _knew_ about Matt Albright the gay teen.” One last sniffle. “You.” 

 

So there it was. 

 

Justin stood up and slid into Matt’s side of the booth. He hugged him tight, for once being the strong one, for once being the shoulder to cry on. 

 

“But you’re not mine any longer,” Matt said quietly. “And right now, you’re with someone and you’re happier than you’ve ever been.” He tilted his head up to study Justin’s face. 

 

“…How did you know…?” 

 

Matt once again gave a shaky laugh. “That night at Babylon…the looks that guy Brian gave me…” he shook his head. “If looks could kill, well, I’d be dead. Dead sooner, rather.” 

 

Justin stiffened and fell silent. 

 

Matt shook his head at himself. “I keep forgetting I can’t make those jokes anymore.” He wiped his eyes brusquely with the back of his hand. “But I could see how much…how much he adored you. Cared about you. And you know what? It didn’t piss me off. Because I knew. I knew he’d take care of you. When I couldn’t. When I wouldn’t.” 

 

“I’ll follow his example.” 

 

Matt looked at Justin in bewilderment. “What?” 

 

“I’ll follow his example. I’ll take care of you. I’ll visit you. I’ll take care of you…” the blond stopped abruptly. 

 

“…Until the end?” 

 

“…Yeah. Until the end.” 

 

Justin leaned forward and gave Matt a gentle, now almost fraternal kiss to the cheek. He and Matt could both feel the difference between this seemingly loving kiss as compared to their kisses when they were still a couple. 

 

But across the diner, as they collected their lemon bars to go, Emmett, Drew, and especially Michael could not. 

  

*          *            *

  _I can’t believe it. And I was just starting to trust him, too,_ Michael thought to himself as he stood there in shock, watching Justin and Matt huddle together in the small booth. _The little shit is back with the old boyfriend. Fuck, what is Brian going to say?_

“Now Michael sweetheart,” Emmett said quietly, tugging on the indignant boy’s arm, trying in vain to remove the Michael from the diner. “Don’t you go charging in there. You don’t know what’s happening.” 

 

Michael snorted. “The little blond slut is fucking over Brian, that’s what it looks like to me.” 

 

Between Emmett and Drew, the two taller boys were able to get Michael out of the diner without him causing a scene. “I’m not sure you’re right,” Emmett said quietly. “I’ve seen that dishy boy before, do you remember? He definitely doesn’t look the same as he used to. I don’t think the boy is feeling too well.” Emmett suddenly had another thought. “And didn’t he and our Sunshine have a little lover’s spat that night after Babylon?” 

 

Remembering this, Michael’s theories immediately plummeted, but then came right back up again. “He faked the whole argument,” he said, sure of himself. “That whore planned this all along. He wanted to have Brian as his fuck on the side while he still kept the other one.” 

 

Emmett sighed. “I really don’t think anybody is that good of an actor, Michael honey. And especially not Baby. Don’t you think so, Drewsie?” 

 

Drew shrugged his large shoulders, unsure of what to say or do in this situation. Gay backstabbing was completely new to him. 

 

“Wait a tick,” Emmett said, having another thought come to him. “Sunshine said that Brian was coming over in a little bit. To the diner, during his break, I imagine. And Brian didn’t show up? Do you think he…” the tall, gangly boy put a hand to his forehead and groaned, “…he showed up. I know he did. And he saw the same thing we saw. And left, the poor sweetheart.” 

 

Michael brightened at this thought. “Good! I hope he realizes what a bad choice he made by siding with that little shit. Maybe we should go see him and talk him through it.” 

 

Drew shook his head, finally having something to say. “No. We should let them talk it out. We really don’t know what was happening back there in the diner. We can’t just assume things. They deserve a fair chance to be together. They don’t need us mapping out their relationship for them.” 

 

Emmett beamed at Drew, gave him a kiss to the cheek, and turned to Michael. “Isn’t he just darling?” 

 

Michael grunted noncommittally. He had Ben now, yes, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t warn Brian about the little blond cheater. Brian deserved someone better; he’d been saying it from the beginning. That Justin had had his whole family fooled. Brian. Vic. His Ma.  

 

But not now. Now Justin was in for a nasty surprise. 

 

Michael grinned to himself, bade goodbye to Emmett and Drew, and reached for his cell phone.

  

*          *            *

  

Justin was leaning over the sink in the kitchen, splashing water on his face. He really didn’t feel well at all. He had asked Matt if there was anything he could do, but the other boy didn’t seem to want to talk about his illness. Justin understood, of course.

 

 Nevertheless, Justin had promised to call Matt soon and they had said their goodbyes, both worn out from the trauma of the last hour. The blond boy had then proceeded to call Brian at home, but had gotten no answer. He was perhaps a little apprehensive, but he still believed something had come up and didn’t press matters. He did, however, really want to talk out what he’d heard today with someone. 

 

“Sunshine, you okay?” Deb asked, striding over to where Justin stood. 

 

The blond managed to give Debbie a weak smile, but it wasn’t even close to his regular smile. He was grateful for her interest, and he really did want to talk, but he wasn’t sure if Debbie was the one to talk to about stuff like this. “I’m good, Deb. Thanks, though.” 

 

The loud, redheaded woman gave Justin a withering look. “Don’t bullshit me Sunshine, how many times do I have to tell you? Now, out with it. I got someone to cover our tables just so I could get whatever it is that’s bugging you.” 

 

Justin sighed. “Debbie…well…I don’t know if you saw the guy who came to visit me just a little while ago…” 

 

Deb let out a snort. “When are you going to learn that I see everything that goes on around here?” 

 

Justin managed a little laugh. “Yeah. Well, he was my old boyfriend, back where I used to live. We had a nasty breakup…a little bit after I moved here. He gave me some shit about not needing me anymore. But it was a lie, all of it. He didn’t want me around because he was…” Justin swallowed hard. 

 

Debbie’s face softened and she reached out to brush a blond strand out of Justin’s eyes and to lightly pinch one of his cheeks. “Yes Sunshine?” she prompted, trying to give him confidence. 

 

The boy took a deep breath. “He was diagnosed with leukemia. He says he’s terminal, there’s nothing he can do. I think he’s tried treatment, but nothing seems to be working.”

 

Debbie gave Justin a look of shock mingled with pity. “Oh baby.” 

 

Justin felt like a rock was lodged in his throat. “He doesn’t want to talk about it. And I’m not sure if I should bring it up. I think he NEEDS to talk it out, but he doesn’t seem able to. But I don’t want to see him like this, even if we’re not together anymore. I still care about him, Deb.” 

 

The woman reached out and pressed Justin to her. The boy pressed the tears back. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been hugged like this. Like mother and child. His mother hadn’t for years, it seemed.  

 

“Sunshine,” Debbie said quietly but forcefully, “you have to suck it up and be strong for your friend. I know you’re a strong little shit. You fight as long as your friend needs you to.” 

 

After a few more minutes, Justin pulled back. He nodded. “You’re right Deb. Thanks.” 

 

Debbie smiled once more at him and patted him once more on the cheek. “Now get going on your tables.” 

 

Justin nodded again, braced himself, and hurriedly rushed back into the dining area, immediately taking over his tables once more. The faster he got out of here, the faster he could back to Brian. 

  

*          *            *

  

Michael couldn’t believe his eyes. It was like he’d regressed to last summer’s Michael. The one who stood around, watching his best friend fuck the shit out of some random guy in an alley. 

 

Awkwardly, Michael stepped back and waited for Brian to finish, trying hard to avert his eyes. This was hard to do; he still couldn’t help imagining himself in Brian’s arms, Brian’s cock inside of him. And now that he knew what sex actually felt like, he imagined it all the more clearly. 

  _Ben loves me_ , Michael tried to tell himself. And yet he realized that Brian was once again on his own, and Michael once again had a shot.

##  _Do you really want to be like that whore Justin?_

 

He couldn’t ignore the little voice in the back of his head that argued that he wouldn’t mind being _Brian’s_ whore. 

 

“What the fuck are you doing here, Mikey?” 

 

Brian had finished up with his trick. The twink rushed out of the alley, pink-faced and looking fresh-fucked. As he turned the corner, Brian crumpled the slip of paper in his hand and tossed it into one of the garbage cans in the alley. 

 

“I was making sure you were okay,” Michael said, hating the timid tone in his voice. 

 

Brian snorted. “I’m always okay. I knew better than to fuck around with love. We’re queers, Mikey. We fuck. And that’s about it.” 

 

Michael looked closely at Brian. His eyes were glazed, obviously on something. “Come on Brian, let’s go home,” he said, trying to take Brian’s hand. 

 

“Home?” Brian sneered. He exited the alley, Michael on his heels. 

 

The taller boy walked right up to the doors of Babylon and was immediately granted access. Michael gaped at this, then hurried in after Brian. “How the fuck did you do that?” he asked. “You’ve never been able to get in before! Not without an older guy.” 

 

Brian laughed. “Since I fucked the guy at the front,” he smirked, tossing a condescending glance over his shoulder. “Take a good look Mikey.” 

 

Michael looked around at Babylon for the second time of his short life. A shiver ran down his back. It was like looking at the future, his and Brian’s. Dancing. Drugging. Dancing. And fucking.

 

“…Because _this_ is home.” 

 


	16. Here

  
Author's notes:

Hello friends! :) Just a note: THIS IS CHAPTER 16, NOT 15! I know you have not read 15, so by the time the site updates my story again, there will be TWO chapters ready for you. So please go back and read chapter 15 or you will be quite confused! 

There is A LOT of angst in this chapter, so please bear with me! I know you might not agree or like what happens here, but remember....it's B/J! They can get through anything! Again, you can find my fic at blue-sunrises.livejournal.com. The journal is friend-locked, so if you would like to read over there and have an LJ, friend me and I'll surely friend you back! If you don't have an LJ, I suggest you make one, there's WONDERFUL fic over there! 

 xoxoxo Izzy

* * *

Chapter 16: Here

 

Justin was exhausted. He'd picked up an extra shift at the diner. Debbie had her hands absolutely full with all the customers. The influx had finally slowed around 8:00, with Justin getting more anxious with each passing hour. He called Brian's cell phone over and over, but he kept getting his voicemail. At a little after 9:00, he couldn't wait any longer.

 

"Deb? Do you mind if I go now?" 

 

Debbie, her wig in a frenzied state, looked at Justin as if she had suddenly remembered he was there. "Oh God, Sunshine! Of course you can. You've done more than enough. You'd think that people would stay home eating their Thanksgiving leftovers, wouldn't you?" 

 

Justin gave her a weak smile and pulled off his apron, washed up a little, did what he had to do. Finally he pulled on his coat and exited the diner. 

 

And felt completely lost. 

 

He had the most horrible feeling something was wrong. The dread chilled his bones, traveling through his body at an alarming rate. The blond knew it was probably just the shocking and horrible news about Matt's illness, but for some reason he couldn't help feeling that it was more than that. He suddenly wanted Brian very much, more than anything. 

 

Justin was on his way to the bus stop when he finally felt his phone vibrate against his thigh. He immediately reached into his pocket and fished it out, not bothering to look at the screen. He was positive he knew who it was. 

 

"Brian, what happened? You've been..." 

 

"Justin?" 

 

" _Michael_?" 

 

"Yeah, it's me. Umm..." the dark-haired boy hesitated on the other line. "Listen, we're at Babylon..." 

 

" _Babylon_? Wait, who's we?" 

 

"Uh, Brian and I. Well, in case you didn't notice all the people on Liberty tonight, there's this King of Babylon contest tonight and the club is fucking packed..." 

 

"I'll come," Justin said, so elated to know that Brian was okay that he missed the hints of trepidation in Michael's voice. "Vic gave me his card early this morning, so I can get in. See you then! " 

 

Veering away from the bus stop, Justin started walking quickly in the other direction. 

 

_We'll dance. And dance. Under the dazzling lights. Like it was meant to be._

 

A soft smile on his face, Justin walked faster. 

 

*    *    * 

 

Fuck. 

 

Michael groaned when he he felt the click on the other end of the line and shut his phone, forehead creased with worry wrinkles. 

 

Brian was unstoppable. He wouldn't stop tricking, drugging, and drinking. Frankly, Michael was surprised he hadn't passed out cold yet. And now he was talking about entering the King of Babylon contest. 

 

Michael was honestly getting scared, so scared he actually picked up his phone and called Justin. He was still angry with him, still trying to hold onto his suspicions, but Brian could be in danger and Justin was usually the one to pull him back from the brink, no matter how hard it might be to admit. But unfortunately, Justin hadn't stayed on the line long enough for Michael to give him a heads up, and truth be told Michael was still unsure of what to say or what to do when he saw the blond brat. 

 

When he'd called Brian after leaving the diner he was surprised to find out that Brian was outside of Babylon already. He'd arrived to see Brian fucking a trick in the alley and had then followed him into the club. Brian had then proceeded to fuck at least five more twinks; take God only knew how many drugs, and a few more shots. 

 

Michael was certain that Emmett's suspicions had been right. There was no other explanation. He must have either found out about Justin and the ex or had been at the diner and saw it all. Brian this morning had been a different person, floating on air, smiling like a fool and for once not giving a shit. It had been a very nice change, actually. 

 

And if Justin had been the one to fuck it all up, then there would be hell to pay. After he got Brian out of there, at least. Michael winced, thinking that maybe he should have called Emmett or Ben instead. He hadn't thought this through. It was quite possible that upon seeing Justin, Brian would do something even stupider. 

 

"Mikey," Brian slurred. "Why don't you just fucking dance? That's the whole point of Babylon, you know. Quit standing by the bar like some pussy faggot." 

 

Michael glared at his friend, who stood there with yet another twink at his side, shaking his head. "For fuck's sake Brian! What the fuck is wrong with you? I think it's definitely time to go." 

 

Brian groaned. "Fuck off, Mikey. I thought Ben...loosened you up." He gave a lopsided smirk, a pale imitation of his usual one. 

 

Michael put a hand to his forehead and closed his eyes, feeling the beginning of a headache begin to emerge. "Maybe you should take a break from the backroom, Brian," he said, sighing. When he opened his eyes again, he was shocked to see an unmistakable blond head bouncing through the crowd, heading in their direction. "Double fuck." 

 

Brian smirked again. "No way Mikey, I...what th' fuck are you looking at?" He turned and for one second, the haze seemed to lift from his eyes. 

 

"Brian! I missed you so much today!" Justin exclaimed, opening his arms to snuggle against Brian, not even noticing the trick standing next to Brian. 

 

WHACK. 

 

Michael's eyes bulged, a hand coming up to cover his mouth. 

 

Brian's chest heaved, his fist and jaw clenched tightly. His heart hammered in his chest along with the pulse and the beat of Babylon. 

 

Below him sat Justin, hand at his eye, mouth open and slack, knocked down on his ass from the blow. He was beyond shocked, too shocked for tears. 

 

"Brian...?" he whispered, voice so quiet underneath the loud music it looked as if he had only mimed the word. 

 

"Fuck you," Brian said. "Just...just fuck you. Fuck you and your fucking love and your relationship bullshit and fuck everything you are." 

 

With that, he grabbed the twink and mashed his lips to his in a rough, drunken kiss. Without a backward glance, he dragged the young man into the backroom yet again. 

 

Justin sat on the floor in a daze, hand still at his eye, the world spinning crazily around him. He had still not recovered from the dizzying blow. 

 

Michael felt a pitying stab to the heart at the look on Justin's face. At that moment, everything became clear to him. Justin had not cheated. Deep down, had he ever really thought he had? He sighed. "Justin…" 

 

The blond leaped to his feet and dashed through the crowd towards the bathroom. Michael felt obligated to follow him.

 

The boy crashed through one of the stalls, only to find two guys making out. "Get the fuck out!" he screamed. 

 

They immediately complied, spooked by the wild look in the small blond's eyes. No sooner had they stumbled out of the stall, still clutching at each other, than Justin heaved his dinner into the toilet. 

 

Michael again felt obligated to rub the boy's back, wincing at the horrible, painful-sounding noises. 

 

"Fuck, that's disgusting." 

 

"Get the fuck out!" Michael roared. 

 

Again, they complied.

 

Finally, Justin had finished. Fumbling blindly for toilet paper, he wiped his mouth. 

 

"Michael…" 

 

And then the tears came. 

 

How long Michael sat there, he didn't know. When Justin finally felt physically strong enough to stand, he helped Justin out of the bathroom and out of Babylon. As they walked through the club, Michael's prayer that they wouldn't run into Brian again was answered. He called Emmett and Ben once they were outside, getting Ben to drive by and pick them up and getting Emmett to meet them at his house.  

 

When Ben came around in his car, both he and Michael made Justin comfortable in the backseat. Ben tossed his jacket to the boy to put under his head, and they lowered the windows for the blond to get some air. 

 

Emmett was already at Michael's house when they arrived. Debbie was still at the diner closing up and Vic was taking a nap, much to their luck. The three older boys brought Justin up to Michael's room, where Emmett immediately started doctoring Justin's eye. Ben just sat there, trying to talk it out with Justin. And Michael's head just reeled. 

 

"I don't understand it," Justin said in a flat voice, hissing a little when Emmett pressed a bag of ice to his tender eye. "I don't." 

 

"It was a mistake, Baby," Emmett said soothingly. "He was drunk and high and he didn't know what he was doing. You heard Michael. He thought you were cheating and he was stupid." 

 

"It was nonsensical rage," Ben said quietly. "He'll come around by tomorrow. You can talk things through. If you can forgive him." 

 

Justin lay quiet for a minute. "I don't think I can. Not because of what he did to me physically. But it's inside of me that hurts most of all." A sob broke from his throat. "I don't think I can be with him if that's what he thinks of me."   

 

All went quiet again for several more minutes. 

 

"Well Baby," Emmett said softly, "I think there's going to be a black eye." He suddenly reached over and pulled Justin into a hug. "It'll be okay, Baby. It'll be okay. Just breathe. Just breathe…" 

 

"I can't," Justin sobbed. "I can't." 

 

"We're here," Emmett continued soothingly. "Ben and Michael and me. We're here. We're here." 

 

Ben reached over to stroke Justin's hair. 

 

Michael squeezed his hand. 

 

"Yeah, Justin. We're here."

 


	17. Hope is the Last Thing That Dies

  
Author's notes:

Hey guys! Well, now I think three chapters have been added since the last time administrators updated this story :( I'm depressed. But the last chapter you might have read (if you've been following the story since the beginning up until now) is Chapter 14. Please read 15 and 16 before reading this one or you will be VERY confused. Thank you for continuing to support me and reading and reviewing this fic :) Again, if you have a livejournal, my LJ is blue-sunrises.livejournal.com. It is locked and entries are available only to friends, so if you have one add me or leave a message to the FRIENDS ONLY entry and I will certainly add you back if you are 18 or over. If you dont have an LJ, I am perfectly willing to email you the missing chapters. Email is [cplayfan25@gmail.com](mailto:chapters.cplayfan25@gmail.com) . Thanks! 

xoxoxo Izzy

* * *

Chapter 17: Hope is the Last Thing That Dies

 

Brian sighed as he looked at Justin, who was sitting all the way across the classroom. He remembered the day after the incident, when Justin had walked right in, looked Mr. Clarke unflinchingly in the eye (though the same could not be said for the teacher himself) and murmured something to him. The next day Brian had a new seat…as far away from Justin as he could possibly get. 

 

The days when they sat near each other seemed eons ago, yet Brian still watched Justin just as much as he ever had during the class. Even though the purple around the blond’s eye had long ago faded to green and then to normal, white skin, Brian continued to feel the old, bitter, almost physically painful remorse every time he looked at the other boy.

 

He missed Justin badly, terribly, hopelessly, but he knew he deserved every second of this loneliness. In the almost four weeks since the night at Babylon, not an hour had gone by when the seriousness of what he had done to Justin whispered through his mind. Though he could not remember much more than dazzling, brilliant lights, stumbling, and the “pleasure” of sex, the slight ache in his hand the next day assured him that what everyone was saying was true. 

 

Brian had awakened at Michael’s house, startled to see the dark eyes of his friend boring into him with an expression he had never seen before. Following this glare, Michael had pretty much screamed out the story. Something about miscommunication and Justin NOT cheating and Babylon and crying and going back to the club to pick up Brian’s sorry ass after Justin was all cried out and asleep…throughout the rant, the taller boy had been bewildered. 

 

But one thought did stick in his befuddled and murky mind. 

 

Crying…Justin crying. 

 

And then all the pieces fit into place. 

 

Yet even under these new dire circumstances Brian found himself sitting back, unable to cry, scream, talk, or do anything at all. Michael had sat across from him, in Brian’s old place on top of the desk, waiting, waiting for _anything_. Waiting for a response that would never come. Finally, forced to give up, Michael threw his hands up and fled the room. It had been the first time Mikey had skipped out on _him_. 

 

However, there was a chance that what woke up in the bed that morning was not Brian Kinney. 

 

The brunette sighed as he realized that he hadn’t been himself in almost four weeks. The last time Brian had been Brian was when a soft palm had cupped his cheek, when softer blond strands had brushed his chin, when even softer plump lips had brushed his own in a goodbye kiss. Brian hadn’t been Brian since he and Justin had parted after that one amazing night. 

 

The night that seemed like _ages_ ago. 

 

He doubted even Michael had forgiven him. They talked of course, but there was disapproval now in the smaller boy’s eyes, indecision in their conversations and distrust in his body language. 

 

For the first time ever, Michael had stopped chasing him. He was growing up, something Brian had in the past always urged him to do. Mikey was usually with Ben now, in a real relationship. It was like a stab to the heart when Brian realized that he had had something like that, and he’d thrown it away in a moment’s insecurity. 

 

Brian Kinney doesn’t DO insecurity. No apologies, no regrets 

 

Fuck that. Fuck all of that. 

 

Fuck Brian Kinney and his lies and his bullshit. Fuck everything he is and everything he stands for. Fuck you, Kinney. 

 

Ben was still pleasant to him, because granted; he had not been there to witness what had occurred between himself and Justin. Brian could tell Ben was very much on Justin’s side about the whole thing, but he was much too mature to snub Brian. 

 

Emmett was a different matter. He was also in a fairly steady relationship with that football guy, Drew, or as steady as a relationship with a fag still in the closet could be. The once-flamboyant Emmett had turned remarkably cold towards him, and even though Brian had in the past joked that he would be fucking elated if Emmett would leave him alone for two seconds, he was definitely finding himself missing his old friend’s presence in his life. 

 

Debbie and Vic were still pretty decent to him, even though the first few days Debbie had been shocked and furious. Vic was also very disapproving, but was trying his best to stay out of the situation entirely. He had his own shit to deal with. Brian didn’t blame him for trying to back out of it at all. It was the sort of thing he would have done if put in the same position. 

 

And Justin. The boy himself. He had ignored all of Brian’s calls, all of his messages, all his emails. Even though Brian had tried to corner the blond after class the first school day after the night at Babylon, Justin had brushed by him, not saying anything, barely acknowledging his being there. He didn’t come to their spot by the tree for lunch, even though Brian waited for the entire period. 

 

The hallways were even worse. Brian remembered the rush of guilt he felt when he spotted Justin walking, with all the dignity in the world, while Hobbs and his gang followed with taunts of “Hey Taylor, who finally got sick of your faggot ass and let you have it?” 

 

Brian had rushed forward, determined to say something, but Justin had shot him a look that stopped him in his tracks. It was a look that he had never before seen in Justin’s eyes. Disgust, anger, borderline hatred, possibly. It was a look he hadn’t seen even when Justin talked about his father. So Brian let Justin walk past. He understood. The smaller boy didn’t need his help nor did he want it. Brian had decided that the best thing was to let time pass and then go to Justin again.

 

The bell rang and Brian looked down at his blank notebook. Even though Mr. Clarke and he had always been enemies, he had always been able to pull an A in this class on sheer academic talent. Lately however, Brian’s grades not only in biology but also in all his other classes had taken a dramatic nosedive. He just couldn’t seem to focus on anything but the situation at hand. He didn’t know how to deal with that. He had always been able to focus and be brilliant at whatever task was at hand. Not being able to do something was not a Brian Kinney thing. 

 

_Who the fuck cares? We’re fucking over Brian Kinney, remember?_ Brian reprimanded himself, getting to his feet and gathering his things. _His so-called philosophies have never worked. The only time I was remotely happy was when I ignored all the fucking shit I cooked up with over the years._

 

Brian made his way to the door, but then stopped abruptly, remembering in time that he had tucked another notebook under his chair. He turned and again, he stopped. 

 

Justin was right behind him. 

 

For a moment, they looked at each other. Brian’s heart, ridiculous as it sounded, was thudding in his chest. For the first time he was afraid. Afraid of what he would see in Justin’s eyes. 

 

His heart clenched as he realized that maybe he had no right to be afraid. If anybody should be afraid, it should be Justin. Frightened. Frightened of Brian. Of him and his temper. 

 

Brian had become Jack. 

 

But before Brian had a chance to rehash this anguishing thought, he became disconcerted by the look on Justin’s face. Still anger, definitely, but it was now mixed with a bit of…confusion? Maybe. But most of all…

 

Loneliness. 

 

Just like before, the blond broke the connection and strode past Brian, on his way to his second class. 

Nevertheless, Brian couldn’t get rid of the expression he had just seen. 

  _Maybe…maybe he’s as lonely as I am._  

The tall dark-haired boy rubbed his temple and exited the classroom. 

  

*          *            *

  

Michael was at a booth with Ben, who was talking him through his math homework. The smaller boy had been seriously on the verge of dropping out of school, but Ben had been urging him to continue with his studies. He still struggled sometimes, especially in the tougher subjects, but now that he had Ben, things were going smoother, much to his Ma’s delight. 

 

“I wish I had you during the tests,” Michael muttered as he penciled in the answer, having finally solved the equation he was working on correctly. 

 

Ben gave his hand a comforting squeeze. “You’re problem is nerves Michael, and nerves alone,” he stated. “That’s the only thing that’s holding you back. Test taking is a skill. You have to learn not to freeze up and go blank. When you have a firm grasp of the material, I know you can do it.” 

 

“You know, he’s right Michael,” Debbie shouted as she hurried past their table. “It’s what Vic and I have always been telling you.”

 

Michael shrugged. “I guess,” he said. 

 

“Don’t second-guess yourself, you little shit,” Debbie said affectionately. The door to the diner opened and she raised her head to look. She sighed. “Look who it is.” 

 

“Hey,” Brian said as he slid into the other side of the booth. 

 

“Hey Brian,” Ben said pleasantly. 

 

“Hey Brian,” Michael echoed. He tried to nonchalantly scan the diner and near the kitchen, making sure Justin didn’t have this shift or wasn’t anywhere nearby. The blond didn’t need to suffer more than he had to. When he was finally convinced that Justin was not around, Michael turned to Brian. The anger had faded, still there, but not as strong. Now there was just disappointment. Disappointment that Brian managed to fuck up the one good thing in his life. 

 

_Sure, he had me, Emmett, Ma, and Vic, but none of us can compare to what he had with Justin_ , he thought to himself.Michael had finally realized that.  

 

And of course when it had just happened everyone was much more offended. But now that they saw how sad both Brian and Justin were, it was becoming clear to all of them that despite the fucked up lack of judgment on Brian’s part, there was still love. Love that was so strong and so fucking powerful it had such a negative impact on both of his friends when it was no longer shared. 

 

Michael wasn’t the only one who had seen the change. Everyone had noticed. Other kids at school, who watched as the formerly content Brian Kinney trudged through the halls, the secret smile replaced by a lingering frown. Teachers wondered what had happened to make the tall, brilliant, and finally fulfilled boy stoic once more. Those who were relatively close to Brian had their suspicions, but knew it had something to do with the sweet blond boy who was similarly downcast. The clouds were blocking the sunshine.

 

But Michael, Emmett, Debbie, and Vic didn’t have to suspect. They all knew. 

 

Even after this, Michael knew that Brian and Justin belonged together, _needed_ to be together. He had tried to refuse it, but it had taken a broken, trembling Justin to prove him otherwise, to prove what he had been trying to deny. Sure, that punch was more than uncalled for, if downright cruel and completely, utterly fucked. Michael was not trying to make excuses for his friend. And Brian getting Justin back was going to require some _serious_ groveling from Brian. But in the end, they had to be together. It was just meant to fucking _be_ , as Vic had said in spite of himself earlier this morning.  

 

“Um,” Brian began, trying not to look too worried or anything, “…anybody seen Justin around lately?” 

 

There was a pause. “Sunshine still works here,” Debbie said, “just a different shift.” She gave Brian a piercing look, as if trying to send him a mental message. “Maybe you should try talking to him, you little asshole.” She tried to soften this remark by ruffling Brian’s hair. He was, after all, one of her boys, just as much as Michael and Justin were. 

 

“Yeah, well, what if he won’t talk back?” Brian muttered. 

 

“Just fucking try,” she said, snapping her gum. “You might be surprised by what happens. Now, what can I get you?” 

 

Brian shrugged. 

 

Deb glared. “I have to do _something_ to fatten you up. Christ, you’re getting skinnier every time I see you.” 

 

Brian shrugged unconcernedly at this once more. 

 

Ben understood the meaning behind those shrugs. How important was food to Brian when there was no Justin? 

 

*          *            *

 

“It’s 3:00,” Regan Albright said cheerfully as she ushered her son’s visitor into the hospital room. 

 

Matt, who had been reading a book in bed, turned to see Justin make himself comfortable in a nearby chair, as he had every day at 3:00 for the last week and a half. He grinned and set his book aside after marking the page he had stopped at. 

 

“Hey Jus.” 

 

“Hey Matt,” Justin replied, smiling a little. “Has that hot orderly come by yet?” 

 

Matt grinned again. “Not yet.” He turned to look at his mother, who immediately understood the look her son was giving her and surrendered, exiting the room. 

 

“Your dad still hasn’t come to see you?” Justin said sympathetically. 

 

Matt shook his head. “Nope. Ever since I told him I was really, truly, 100% gay the first night the doctors finally decided to put me in here, he hasn’t come by. But you know, it was just something I had to do. Life is fucking hard and it’s fucking short. I needed to tell him _sometime_ , didn’t I?” It was the kind of question that didn’t warrant an answer, so Justin kept quiet. The dark-haired boy peered closer at his friend, who was still looking tired as usual, not his sunny self. “Things with Brian still…” 

 

“Matt,” Justin said in a warning tone. “We talked about this yesterday and I don’t want to talk about it again.” 

 

The other boy shrugged. “Fair enough,” he said. “I still can’t believe you didn’t say anything to him the next day though. Not even to fucking ream him out. Silence can be the biggest punishment though…” 

 

“Matt!” 

 

The blond glared and his friend threw his hands up, admitting defeat. “You know who hasn’t come by yet though?” he said. “Daphne.” 

 

“Daphne Chanders?” the smaller boy asked. 

 

“Yeah.” 

 

“That’s weird, you guys were really good friends back at St. James. I think she wanted you to fuck her though.” 

 

Matt snorted at his remark. “She wanted _you_ to fuck her.” 

 

“No way, really?” Justin said, intrigued. 

 

“Yeah.” 

 

“But she hardly talked to me.” 

 

“Duh, she was fucking in love with you. She was just shy and scared you were going to reject her. But she got over it, I think. Least I hope so.” 

 

Justin gave him a look. “She better have. Pretty much all of St. James knew I was gay that last month I was there.” 

 

Matt didn’t say anything. Any mention of the way he had behaved back then made his blood run cold. He still wasn’t able to forgive himself for the way he had treated Justin. Just let him take the fall for everything and let his own role in all of it be hushed up. His dad had been furious, thinking Matt was just experimenting and had gotten caught. He was even more furious when he finally realized that Matt hadn’t been “just experimenting.” 

 

Justin could tell what Matt was thinking. “Hey,” he said. “Forget about all of that shit, all right? It’s in the past and it doesn’t fucking matter. It didn’t matter to me then and it still doesn’t.” 

 

Matt nodded, but having trouble believing it. “Yeah. I guess. But yeah, like I was saying…still no Daphne.” 

 

“Have you tried calling her?” 

 

Matt nodded. “She’s either ignoring them or doesn’t know what to say. I don’t blame her, though. I wouldn’t know what to say either, if one of my friends was dying.” 

 

Justin blanched. His friend has started saying the word “death” so casually lately. He still hadn’t gotten used to it, even though he knew Matt was terminal. 

 

Matt reached over and squeezed one of the blond’s hands. “I’m sure she’ll call eventually,” he said, mistakenly interpreting what Justin was looking upset about. He then looked out the window at the soft flurries falling. “Christmas is almost here. Few more days.” 

 

“Yeah,” Justin agreed. “Christmas.” 

 

They were quiet for a moment. 

 

“Will they let you out for Christmas?” Justin asked. 

 

Matt shrugged. “Doubt it,” he said. “Too fucking sick, aren’t I?” 

Justin winced at this. “But you’ll have your mom and she’ll bring your brothers, won’t she?” 

 

His friend nodded. “Yeah, of course she will.” 

 

Another silence. 

 

“Do you think Brian knows what really happened? That what he saw at the diner wasn’t what he thought?” 

 

Justin sighed. He really didn’t want to go down that road. Not here, anyway. This was on his mind 24/7 elsewhere. At school, at home, at work. “I don’t know,” he answered. “Maybe he does, maybe he doesn’t. Michael, Emmett, and the others really don’t mention him around me, and I don’t ask.” 

 

“Are you going to ever forgive him?” Matt asked quietly. 

 

Justin sighed the saddest sigh Matt had heard in a while. 

 

“I don’t know, Matt. I just don’t know.” 

 

“But do you want to?” 

 

Another sigh. “I don’t know that either.” 

 

“But you still love him.” That wasn’t a question. 

 

A soft, shuddering breath. “Yeah.” 

 

Matt heard the waver and grasped Justin’s hand more tightly, trying to convey strength to his former boyfriend and now friend. “So that’s it.” 

 

Justin shook his head. “But I don’t know if that’s enough.” 

 

“You’re lonely without him.” That wasn’t a question either. 

 

 Matt squeezed Justin’s hand again when there wasn’t a response. “So maybe all you need is time.” 

 

Justin smiled softly and sadly at his friend. “I hope so, Matt. I really do.” 

 

Matt smiled back. “Hope is the last thing that dies. As long as we have hope…” 

 

Justin nodded and turned to look at the falling snow. 

 

It would soon turn into a blizzard.

 


	18. Out of the Shadows

  
Author's notes:

Hello readers! :) Please go back and read 15, 16, and 17 if you haven't already done so...as I'm sure you may know by now, this site is experiencing problems with my story :( Please read and review!

 xoxoxo Izzy

* * *

Chapter 18: Out of the Shadows

 

“What are you doing?” Drew asked, popping up behind Emmett and surprising him with a quick kiss to the cheek. 

 

The tall skinny boy, who had been poring over a sheet of paper he had in front of him, jumped in his seat, then smiled and returned the kiss. “Hey honey! Just making sure I didn’t forget anybody’s Christmas gift thank-you note!” 

 

Drew chuckled at Emmett’s promptness and took notice of his jiggling knees, and though he knew his lover was usually quite active and energetic, he could tell this was nervousness. 

 

“Relax,” he muttered quietly, resting a hand over one of Emmett’s. “She loved you.”

 

The other boy turned in his seat and gave him a shocked look. “I don’t know Drewsie, she’s your mother! You really should have told me we were going…” he gave Drew a stern look, “I had no idea! We hadn’t even been together that long and there you go tricking me into visiting your mother…!” 

 

Drew laughed quietly. “You know I told her a couple of weeks before we went and she was just…mom. I don’t know why I was so damn worried, how could I not have known she would understand? It’s just my uncles, Emmett, and I really couldn’t give a shit if they…” 

 

“I know, I know! I just really hoped she liked me. But you really should have told me; I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to find the appropriate gift. Do you really, really think the Edible Arrangement and Chanel box were all right? I didn’t get to peek around Bloomingdale’s, so we did have other options, and I can’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t want a little Coco…” 

 

Drew groaned. 

 

“Oh, quit whining, Emmett,” Debbie said as she hurried over to the table and patted Drew lightly on the arm. “Christmas and the fucking holiday season is done and over with. All we have to look forward to is a long, terrible Pittsburgh winter. Now what can I get ya? Michael and Ben should be here any minute now.” 

 

Drew and Emmett placed their orders and watched in amusement as Debbie whisked away. 

 

True to Deb’s prediction, Michael and Ben walked in barely three minutes afterward. They squeezed in with their friends and started catching up. 

 

“So, January 2nd,” Emmett said with a world-weary sigh. “The beginning of a whole new year. Doesn’t it feel a tad melancholy?” 

Ben smiled calmly. 

 

“I’m glad,” Michael chimed in. “Last year was all right…towards the end it got better though,” he grinned, looking over at his slightly older lover, who gave the smaller boy’s shoulder a soft squeeze.

 

“How was the skiing up in Vermont?” Ben asked, smiling at the other couple and failing to notice Drew’s pleading glance. “Did everything go all right with meeting the family?” 

 

Emmett, ecstatic to have a fresh, attentive audience, opened his mouth to begin his saga about his Christmas adventures, when suddenly a pitying look came into his eyes and his mouth closed again. “There’s that poor boy,” he said softly. 

 

Michael and Ben didn’t have to turn around to know who he meant. The old feeling of possessiveness rushed through Michael, but it was much weaker than he ever remembered it being. He supposed he would never get rid of the instinct to run over and attempt to shield his oldest friend from his demons. He didn’t say anything. 

 

“Just lemon bars to go,” Emmett said thoughtfully, his eyes mournful. “Doesn’t ever seem to stop by and just talk anymore, does he? Looks like all the life has gone out of him.” 

 

Michael felt a lump in his throat. He swallowed hard to try to make it disappear. But it was still there, just as his best friend’s misery was still there, and no amount of anything would make it disappear. Only one person in the entire world had the power to make it all disappear and make it all get better. “We did ask him over to Ma’s for Christmas, but he never showed,” he confided in a quiet voice. “Not that we really expected him to. Haven’t heard from him since then. And I can’t imagine what he did for Christmas. Stayed home, I guess.” 

 

Ben shook his head sympathetically. 

 

Angry tears were brimming in Emmett’s eyes as he listened to Michael talk and as he watched Brian turn his head slightly and give the little group a small glance and tiny nod before he left the diner, bag of lemon bars in hand. “Isn’t there _something_ we can do?!” he almost wailed. “Honestly? Has anyone tried talking to Sunshine again?”

 

“I doubt he’ll listen, Em,” Drew said quietly. “Not after what Brian did, and if ever does, it has to be at his own pace.” 

 

“But it’s been almost two months since they’ve even talked to each other!” Emmett said agitatedly. “They’re both empty inside, poor babies. We HAVE to do something!” 

 

Michael shook his head. “It took me a while, but I learned it’s best to stay out of it. If it’s meant to be, Brian and Justin will be together again.” 

 

Emmett disagreed. “But those boys are so damn stubborn, they need a poke in the right direction! Otherwise they’ll be old and gray before they ever find their way back to each other!” 

 

“Then they’ll be old and gray, but together, and they’ll be that much stronger because they did it without anyone interfering,” Ben said wisely. 

 

Emmett sighed. He just didn’t know anymore. 

 

The four of them looked around at each other. They all knew, deep down, that the group wasn’t complete without Brian and Justin. 

  

*             *             *

  

Brian had been walking for what seemed to him like hours, but in reality was probably only under 30 minutes. As his boots crunched over the hard leftover snow on the sidewalk from the last snow shower, he kept replaying the last few months of his life over and over again in his head. His life had been turned from upside down to right side up to upside down again in that short span of time. He’d gone from a cold-hearted bastard to someone so in love that even now he couldn’t really understand its depths, to a lonely, shattered piece of nothing. That’s what he was, nothing. Lower than crap, lower than shit, lower than…

 

“Brian Kinney, you look like you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders.” 

 

Brian’s head snapped up when he heard his name said out loud in the first friendly, non-pitying voice he could remember hearing in quite a while. He smiled softly when he saw who it was, dusting the snow off a dying cactus on the front porch. 

 

“Sis always forgets she has plants out here, and lately I’ve been forgetting, too.” Vic smiled at the young man standing in front of him. “I’ve got some of that cocoa you’ve always liked on the stove right now, Brian. Why don’t you come in?” 

 

Brian gave a small smile as he recalled the cocoa from better Christmases. He realized he couldn’t remember the last time he had smiled. Certainly not during the last week. How could he, with Jack treating the family to drunken renditions of old carols, and with Joan hunched over her glass of sherry in what she apparently believed was a more dignified stance. No presents, or at least none from his “family.” Not that he had been expecting any in the first place.

 

Merry fucking Christmas.

 

Again, Brian’s feet seemed to take him up the stairs and through the front door of the Novotny/Grassi household. He noted that he hadn’t been here in what seemed like ages. He just couldn’t stand it. Even now he couldn’t look over at the house next door. He wasn’t sure if he could keep himself in check if he did so. 

 

He sat down at the dining room table. There was a pain in his chest. Before, he wouldn’t have known what the pain was. Before, he wouldn’t have recognized it as loss of raw, yet precious love. 

 

Before. 

 

Thanksgiving night. Justin’s birthday. Both had taken place here. 

 

The pain in his chest intensified, and a twisting in his stomach began. There was hot wetness burning behind his eyelids. 

 

Vic came back in with two tall, steaming mugs of hot cocoa. He seemed to realize something and gently took Brian by the elbow and helped him up. He then led the boy to the kitchen table. Brian suddenly felt he could breathe a little bit easier and took a soft, shuddering breath. He didn’t even care that Vic was there and had heard the pathetic attempt to hold back his emotions. Before he would have.  

 

Before. 

 

The pair sat in silence for a while, sipping at their cocoa, wincing a little as the hot liquid touched their tongues. Brian was looking down into his cup. After a few more minutes, he reluctantly looked up and met Vic’s unwavering eyes. 

 

“Vic…” he sighed. 

 

For the first time, Brian thought, ever, Vic interrupted him. “Do you remember the last time you sat at this table, Brian?” 

 

Brian’s forehead furrowed. He didn’t know what that had to do with anything. 

 

“I’m sure you remember the dining room, but what about the kitchen?” 

 

Brian still didn’t know what Vic was getting at, but he figured it was best to humor him. He sat and thought for a minute. It suddenly came to him, so quickly and so overwhelmingly that he felt shaken. 

 

“I came to talk to you,” he said in a voice barely above a whisper. “About Justin.” 

 

Vic nodded. “What _about_ Justin?” 

 

The young man remembered. “I didn’t know why Justin wouldn’t open up all the way. Emotionally, I mean.” A shadow of a grin flitted across Brian’s face and for a moment Vic almost saw the old Brian. “Sexually too, now that I think about it.” 

Vic shouldn’t help it. He chuckled. He knew Deb and Michael and the other boys were worried about Brian. This proved he was still there. Somewhere. 

 

“And do you remember what I told you?” 

 

The younger brunette felt like an idiot. He remembered. He remembered perfectly well, and he knew why Vic was bringing it up. 

 

_“If you really do care about him, you’re both going to have to talk about how you feel. The key to a good relationship is good communication. It’s not the only key, but it’s a damn good one. Share whatever’s worrying you. That way you’re never going to have to agonize constantly, like you’re doing now. You’ll always be aware of everything that’s going on.”_

 

“I remember,” Brian said quietly. 

 

Vic nodded. He knew the boy did. “So what happened?” he asked calmly. 

 

Brian shrugged helplessly, tears building up once again and he struggled to keep them down. “I don’t know,” he said listlessly. “We just fell apart.” 

 

Vic looked hard at Brian. “You know. You know damn well. Just like you showed Justin consideration then, just like you gave him the chance to talk, you should have done the same at Babylon, no, at the diner, before jumping to rash conclusions. Good communication, Brian. Remember?” 

 

Brian seemed to deflate even further. He nodded and felt like melting away, like the snow outside the window. He hadn’t learned anything. He was right back where he used to be. 

 

“But it’s not too late, Brian,” Vic said after a moment. 

 

The boy’s head lifted in surprise. “What?” 

 

“It’s not,” Vic said quietly. “We’ve all seen how much you both love each other. And it’s still there. That kind of love doesn’t go away, not after a week, not after a month, not after two months, not after a year. For you and Justin, it will never be never.”

  _Brush of lips to a soft, smooth curve of a cheek. Small hand slipping into a slightly larger one._ _“It’ll never be never for us.”_  

Brian rubbed his face, unsure of the scene that had fluttered across his mind. 

 

“But don’t expect him to welcome you back with open arms,” Vic said, suddenly stern. “Even after all this time, I doubt that’s what he’ll do. I’m sure you know by now he didn’t do anything to deserve that. That was a shitty, shitty thing you did to him Brian.” 

 

Brian slumped. “I know,” he murmured. “Fuck, I knew even when my fist was still at my side that I was overreacting and that I’d regret the action for the rest of my life.” 

 

The young man looked up again and saw compassion, which made him sit up a bit straighter. It wasn’t pity. Compassion. He didn’t mind compassion. 

 

“Thanks Vic,” Brian said quietly as he drained the rest of his cocoa. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

 

All of a sudden, Brian seemed to wake up from his daze. This time, he stared hard at Vic, giving him a measuring glance. 

 

_He doesn’t look so good_ , Brian thought. _Why didn’t I fucking notice?_

 

To his horror, he felt the twisting in his gut again, but this time it was for a completely different reason. 

 

_What would I do without him?_

 

Vic smiled, stood, and clasped Brian’s shoulder briefly. “You’re a good kid, Brian,” he said. “You just get lost sometimes. But you’ll find your way back. You always do.” 

 

Brian stood up and embraced Vic. He didn’t let go for a few moments. When he did, all his appreciation and love for the older man shone in his eyes. It was the first time he’d felt positive feelings coursing through him in ages. “Thanks Vic,” he said. “Not just for the cocoa, but for everything. I’ll let you know what happens.” 

 

Vic nodded and smiled again. 

 

Brian went for the front door. He looked back once and saw Vic at the kitchen window. He gave him one last wave, turned…

 

And found himself staring down at Molly Taylor’s blond head. 

  

*          *            *

  

“He’s your _son_ , Seth! And you didn’t even show up on Christmas OR Christmas Eve!” 

 

Justin winced as he watched Matt avoid his eyes, fidgeting, trying to appear as if he wasn’t listening to the conversation. Regan Albright had received the call and stepped outside the hospital room briefly. At first, she had tried to keep her voice down, but as she grew more and more agitated, she had escalated into some sort of angry hissing, as her voice continued to get louder and louder. 

 

“Ten minutes, Seth! That’s all I’m asking, and I shouldn’t even HAVE to be begging you to come see your own son!” 

  _God dammit_ , Justin thought. _Fucking cold-hearted WASP bastards. Don’t know what being a father means._

Regan’s angry protests began to fade bit by bit, which both boys assumed meant she had walked down the hall and into the ladies’ room, where she would have the privacy to really ream into her husband.  

 

Matt looked up at Justin. “Sorry,” he said quietly. 

 

Justin, feeling angrier by the second, shook his head. Why did Matt have to apologize for his asshole father’s actions? “Don’t be,” he said.   

 

Matt sighed heavily and leaned back against his pillows. He felt more and more tired with each passing day. He wondered if life for his parents would be easier with him out of the picture…permanently. Though he knew he didn’t have to wonder. It was pretty much a given. 

 

“This is fucked!” he exclaimed, growing angry. “I can’t fucking DO anything! Doctors, nurses, my mother, my brothers, all of them, in and out of this fucking room and trying to keep me in the dark about everything! I know I’m a fucking goner! Can’t they just talk to me like a normal person? Why do the last few weeks and months of my pathetic life have to be spent like this?” He was breathing hard, beads of sweat on his forehead from that simple exertion. 

 

Justin quickly leaned over and grabbed Matt’s hand, trying to quell his raging emotions. “Don’t Matt. Calm down, or one of those fucking doctors will throw me out. Then who will you bitch to?” 

 

Matt chuckled softly, squeezing Justin’s hand. “You’re a good friend, Jus.” 

 

The blond smiled down at his friend. 

 

A few minutes passed with the boys quiet, looking up at the television set high in a corner as Justin flipped through the channels. Game shows. Talking heads. Nothing much. Justin had arrived at the hospital barely an hour after the end of the first day back at school after Christmas break, which had been uneventful. Same old same old. Loneliness. It was so fucking depressing. But Justin knew this was nothing, NOTHING compared to the hell Matt was living in. He felt like a bastard wallowing in his own misery. He knew he didn’t have a clue what real misery was. 

“Justin?” 

 

The smaller boy looked at Matt, his eyes urging him to continue. “Yeah?” 

 

“I lied.” 

 

Justin’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh?” 

 

Matt’s eyes lowered to one of the crisp, white bed sheets. “Remember when I told you that Daphne hadn’t come by?” 

 

Justin nodded. “She did?” 

 

Matt shook his head. “No. But I lied about not knowing why she hadn’t come to see me.” 

 

The other boy remained silent. 

 

“I, well…I fucked her.” 

 

Justin was surprised, but knew he really shouldn’t be. “And?” 

 

“Well, she was a virgin and she said she wanted me to her first. So we fucked. I did it because…she was my friend and I was an asshole and I really did miss you. And I wanted everyone to think I was just fine. People were already starting to tell me I looked out of shape, especially the guys on the basketball team. I just wanted to prove I was the same Matt. So I fucked her. And then nothing.”

 

“Nothing?” 

 

“She didn’t even talk to me the next day. Didn’t meet my eyes. Or wouldn’t. Few weeks afterwards I left St. James and ended up here. None of my old friends have been by to see me, so I don’t know what’s going on.” 

 

Justin knew he couldn’t help Matt there. He didn’t keep in touch with anyone from St. James, either. Yet he felt fury flame through him at the idea that none of Matt’s “friends” had bothered to stop by for a while. 

 

“Have you tried calling her?” 

 

“No. I mean, why try talking to her when she obviously doesn’t want to talk? I’d just fuck up even more, anyway. It’s better to leave her alone. I don’t really want her to see me like this, you know?” Matt gave a huge sigh. 

 

The blond nodded. He understood. 

 

“I really do feel bad about it, though. I mean, she was one of my really good friends. I don’t really want to…you know. Without talking to her again. So maybe I will try calling her one of these days. Just to talk, maybe. If she wants to. I’ll tell her she doesn’t have to come down.” 

 

Justin nodded again.

 

They both looked back at the T.V. Matt looked at his friend from the corner of his eye. 

 

“Justin…you sure you don’t want to talk about school today?” 

 

“I’m sure, Matt. There isn’t even anything to say. Usual back-to-school chatter. What presents did you get? Where did you go? What did you do? Who did you do?” he shook his head. 

 

Matt chuckled. “I definitely don’t miss that.” They were quiet again. “And…” 

 

“Nothing.” 

 

“Nothing?” 

 

Justin shook his head. 

 

“And you say you’re ok with that?” 

 

The blond shrugged his shoulders agitatedly. “What does it matter, Matt? What does it matter what I think? It’s the way it is.” 

 

Matt sighed and nodded in resignation. He knew he really shouldn’t get mixed up in this, but desperate times called for desperate measures, didn’t it? 

 

Both boys focused their attentions on _Who Wants to be a Millionaire_ once again. 

  

*            *            *

  

“What are you doing here? It’s cold and you don’t even have a hat or gloves on.” 

 

Molly glared at Brian. She wasn’t going to get distracted. 

 

“I know what you did.” 

 

Brian sighed. 

 

“I know what you did and I should kick your skinny, non-bubble butt behind, but I won’t. Know why?” 

 

Brian raised an eyebrow. She seemed to be getting more like Debbie everyday. 

 

“Because he loves you and you love him and this is all just so stupid!” 

 

Brian was torn. He wasn’t sure if he should feel ashamed of himself or slightly humored over Molly’s adult behavior. But he agreed with her last statement whole-heartedly. 

 

“I know. I deserve that kick,” he said remorsefully. 

 

Molly peered up into Brian’s eyes and seemed to see the regret there. Her expression softened slightly and she gently took his hand. 

 

“Let’s make a snowman,” she said. 

 

Brian wasn’t sure what this was all about, but he decided to follow the small girl’s lead. He gently set down the bag of lemon bars, but made the girl go in and get a hat and gloves. She did and slowly, Molly and he started working on a snowman. They talked while they worked. 

 

“You don’t have to worry about Justin showing up,” Molly chattered when she took notice of the older boy sneaking peeks over his shoulder every so often. “He’s with Matt.” 

 

Brian dropped the bit of snow cupped in his gloves. “Matt?” 

 

“Yeah. He’s not doing too well.” 

 

Brian didn’t know what to think or what to feel. “What do you mean?” 

 

Molly kept on packing snow onto the snowman’s torso. “He’s really sick. Cancer. That’s what our grandma had, and she died,” the girl said matter-of-factly. “I think Matt’s going to die, too. So Justin’s being a good friend and goes to the hospital every day after school. He’s been doing it since before Christmas vacation, during our break, and he’s still doing it. If he has homework he does it over there. I miss him, but he says Matt needs him more right now.”

 

The cold air was biting at Brian’s lungs. He suddenly felt really sick. So there it was. He knew his Liberty Avenue family knew something, but he had been far too ashamed to question them about it, especially when chances were they would keep their mouths shut, for once. 

 

Molly stopped what she was doing when she saw the expression on Brian’s face. “What’s wrong, Bri?” 

 

“I really, _really_ fucked up,” Brian said, then mentally berated himself for swearing in front of Molly. 

 

The girl took it all in stride, barely batting an eye. “You probably did,” she said, continuing what she was doing. 

 

Brian fell into pace with her, but his mind was on overdrive. He knew what he had to do now. 

 

When they were done, the sky was beginning to darken and a few more snowflakes were coming down, brushing softly against the black of Brian’s leather jacket. 

 

Molly stood there proudly, hands on her hips. “It’s good,” she stated. “Real good.” 

 

Brian grinned. “Yeah. It is. We worked hard today, Molly.” His glance fell onto the white paper bag full of lemon bars. “Want a lemon bar?” 

 

Molly tried unsuccessfully to cock an eyebrow. “A what?” 

 

Brian walked over, opened the bag, and pulled one out. He handed it to Molly, who wolfed it down. She smiled afterwards. 

 

“It’s good, too,” she said, beaming. 

 

The brunette smiled. “Your brother loves them.” 

 

For the second time that day, Brian saw compassion fill the girl’s eyes. Even though she was so much smaller than him, she opened her arms and hugged Brian around the middle. 

 

Brian accepted the hug, marveling at the girl’s selfless attempt to make him feel better. 

 

Before he left he gave her a couple more lemon bars and pushed her gently in the direction of her front door. “Be good. And I’ll be back. Soon.” 

 

Molly smiled. “I know.” She turned; her little gloved hands full with lemon bars, and went into her house. At the doorway she stopped, balanced her treats from one arm to the other, and gave Brian a wave before shutting the door.

 

Brian smiled again. “Just like Sunshine.” 

  

*            *            *

 

Justin slowly rose from the chair next to Matt’s bed and stretched. “It’s getting late,” he said. “And the roads might be a bitch because of the snow. I better go before my mom really panics. She already sent me a couple of texts.” 

 

Matt nodded. “All right,” he said. “I’ll see ya.” He gave the other boy a smile. He could tell his friend had been preoccupied with his own thoughts for the last hour or so.  

 

“I’ll come by same time tomorrow,” Justin said, picking up his book bag from a corner where he’d tossed it earlier. 

 

Matt nodded again. 

 

Justin turned to leave. When he was at the door he stopped, but did not turn back. “Matt?” 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“I miss him.” 

 

Matt nodded once again, aware that Justin couldn’t see it. “I know.” 

 

Justin left. He nodded at Regan as passed, who was on her phone in a chair outside the room. She smiled at him, and as always, mouthed a soft “thank you.” 

 

The blond walked down the hall and took the elevator down to the parking garage. He took out his car keys from his coat pocket. He was about to unlock the car when…

 

“Justin.” 

 

The boy whirled around and saw a man coming out of the shadows. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up and his book bag slipped from his shoulder into his hand. It wasn’t much, but there were heavy textbooks in there that Justin could use to swing at this man if he tried anything. 

 

“Don’t be scared.” 

 

Justin’s heart pounded in his chest. 

 

“I’ve been looking for you.” 

 

The man stepped out of the shadows. 


	19. Revelations

  
Author's notes:  Next installment! Thank you to all my readers, and please review, I appreciate each and every comment. This chapter is mostly B/J, which I really don't like doing, since I prefer incorporating the rest of the boys too, so as to give the story a more well-rounded feel, but alas, this is what the muse demanded and well, I suppose the situation called for mostly B/J. I will update quite soon! Love you all madly :) xoxoxo Izzy

 P.S. I actually used song lyrics for once....the song is "Until the End of the World" by U2 (who else?) :D Just thought it was suitable for this chapter :)

* * *

Chapter 19: Revelations

 

__

_…So unhappy. So lost._

_The light-haired man rubbed his temple, trying to assuage his headache. This ache had been in him forever. Maybe not forever. But for a long time, at least._

_With numb, stiff fingers, the man shuffled around in his pockets, fumbling with his lighter and cigarette._

 

_The flame sparked, its orange light the only illumination in the heavy cloak of darkness, pressing against his from all sides._

 

_He shifted slightly on the rock, watching the waves crash against the shore. He didn’t know how he had ended up here._

 

_Still fairly young. He knew it. His family and friends told him so all the time. But with each passing day he felt himself growing heavier, growing more tired, growing lonelier._

 

_He had a deep hole in his heart. Something was missing._

 

_B_ _ut he knew very well what it was. It had been several years ago, but it seemed like an eternity. He knew he was dipping into trouble, but he couldn’t help it. For the first time in his life, he had been happy. He had had love._

 

_And suddenly it was gone. All of it. It had all been an illusion, too good to be true._

 

_No. He knew it was real. He knew it wasn’t an illusion. But he was scared. Too scared. So scared he had left it all behind without a second thought. And he never came back._

 

_Sometimes he still caught himself wondering what would have happened if he had stayed. He knew he would have been better off. He would’ve actually known happiness._

 

_So much guilt. So much regret. So much._

 

_The man shivered and rubbed his hands together. He was out there. Somewhere._ _And he was going to find him._

 

                       *            *            *

He thought back to that moment. Only about a month and a half ago, but it seemed like years. Indeed, every day that went by without those he had left behind seemed like an eternity. Only when he closed his eyes did he allow himself to slip into another realm. Another world where everything he had ever given up was his reality. 

 

_In my dreams, I was drowning my sorrows_

_But my sorrows, they learned to swim_

_Surrounding me, going down on me_

_Spilling over the brim_

 

And now he could hardly believe he was here. Standing in front of the boy he’d longed to see for so long. Years of pain, years of agony, years of second-guessing himself and years of denial. All leading up to this one moment. 

 

“Please don’t be afraid,” the man pleaded, taking notice of the blond’s pale face, which was drained of all color. 

 

The older man felt his heart race, his heart thump, tears building. He was in awe, staring at this boy. The most beautiful boy he’d ever seen. The most precious. 

 

How did he ever give him up? 

 

Justin could not say why he suddenly felt his defenses slip. As he looked into the man’s face he felt the wild red haze surrounding him fade. His grip on his book bag loosened. His head cocked to the side. This man was familiar, but he just couldn’t seem to place him…

 

“Do I know you?” Justin asked.

 

A tear ran down the older man’s face. His face broke out in a small smile, the first time he could remember smiling in ages. He reached into his pocket. 

 

The blond boy tensed suddenly, his guard up once again. 

 

But no. The man had pulled out a photograph. Justin’s eyes were drawn to the artist fingertips, coated with pencil dust and lead. The boy leaned in a bit to see who was in the picture. His throat tightened and he gasped. The man nodded.

  _Waves of regret_

_Waves of joy_

##  _I reached out for the one_

 

_I tried to destroy_

 

Another tear. 

 

Justin closed his eyes in disbelief. 

 

 “You can say that,” the man answered.  

  

*            *            *

“…I know things can never go back to the way they were…” Brian murmured to himself, pacing up and down his bedroom. 

 

“…but maybe we can start something new?”

 

_Fuck it_ , Brian thought to himself, _I’m no good at this_. 

 

The brunette collapsed on his bed, burying his face in his pillow and trying not to yell into it in anguish. Both Jack and Joanie were hung over from this morning and Jack would almost certainly try to rip his balls off if he yelled. What a fucking pair they made. The thought of screaming and making their headaches worse was very tempting. Knowing them though, they would cure the hangover by getting drunk again. Brian didn’t know anybody else whose parents got drunk in the morning and in the evening. 

 

He’d decided to come home after his talk with Molly. A bad idea, since sadly both his parents were home. He’d wanted to gather his thoughts together and really think of something to say to Justin beforehand. He figured it was a bad idea to just go charging in. He would probably fuck up. He was no good at words. Sure, he could present. He was a pro at pitching things in his business and marketing classes. But when it came to relationship shit…

 

He was fucking clueless. Molly was probably a whole lot better. He sniggered at the thought of the headstrong, stubborn little blond girl. She was going to be a real heartbreaker when she was older. 

 

And then there was the revelation about Matt. He’d be forever indebted to Molly for that little bit of crucial information. He was grateful, but at the same time this was even more mentally anguishing. Prior to this, he had no idea what Matt’s role in Justin’s life was. Now he knew. Justin, being the caring, thoughtful boy he was, was reaching out to his friend in a time of need. And that made Brian feel even worse and regret his actions all the more. 

 

_“He’s really sick. Cancer. That’s what our grandma had, and she died,” the girl said matter-of-factly. “I think Matt’s going to die, too…”_

Was it possible that the cancer had not been caught in time? What kind of cancer was it? Was Matt, in fact, terminal? These were questions Brian did not have the answers to. He knew there were only two ways he could get them, from the source or from Justin. Maybe he needed to talk to Matt first, just to get all the facts, before he talked to Justin. He really didn’t want to fuck up. He’d done enough of that to last two lifetimes. 

_“…Justin’s being a good friend and goes to the hospital every day after school.”_

So he’d have to go early. Maybe even skip school, or go during his lunch hour. Lunch wasn’t much of a loss anyway. Not now. Before…

 

Brian closed his eyes against the memories of previous lunches. Stolen kisses under a protective tree. 

 

_Sometimes Justin would lean against Brian’s chest and sketch while Brian locked his arms around Justin’s waist, buried his face in Justin’s soft blond hair, and (while trying not to make it obvious) inhaled the sweet smell of Justin’s shampoo._

Brian’s eyes snapped open. He could not go on like this. He just couldn’t. Not when he knew that there was more. Not when he had had more. 

  

*            *            *

 

Justin was curled up in his bed, under the covers, shaking. So much had happened that night, but now he tried to concentrate on how he had better calm down and finish his calculus homework. 

 

_Breathe, Taylor, fucking breathe. He said you didn’t have to do anything. He only wanted to see you._

But how could she have fucking kept that from him for so long? And it all made sense now…so much fucking sense…

 

“Justin?” 

 

The blond’s fingers clenched tightly around the blanket. He pulled it even further over his head. 

 

“Not now, Mollusk. Please?” he begged. “This really isn’t the time.” 

 

“Jester, I really have to talk to you. You know who I saw today? I know you probably didn’t want me to…”

 

“MOLLY! I said not fucking now!” 

 

Molly took a step back. Justin almost never raised his voice to her. Not in anger, anyway. In shock, only occasionally. But in anger? 

 

“Justin…” 

 

“FUCK. OFF!” 

 

“Justin Taylor! You know better than to speak to your sister like that!” 

 

The blond boy groaned as he heard his mother’s voice, but he also felt the anger pulse in his veins. 

“Don’t you mean Justin Carrigan?” he snarled in a voice quite unlike his own. “And don’t you mean half-sister?” 

 

Jennifer froze. 

 

“Mom, what does he mean?” Molly whined, holding onto her mother’s hand, for the first time in memory scared of her brother. 

 

“Molly, go downstairs and don’t come up until I say so. All right?” 

 

The small girl didn’t have to be told twice. She took off immediately. 

 

Jennifer closed the door behind her daughter and slowly advanced toward the miserable bundle that was her son. She was shocked. How had he found out? 

 

“Justin…” she said softly, reaching out to pull the blanket back.

 

“NO!” 

 

“Justin, please look at me.” 

 

Silence. 

 

“Justin.” 

 

The blond head peeked out, blue eyes warily focused on the woman now sitting on his bed in front of him. 

 

“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry.” 

 

The boy snorted. 

 

“Honey, I know you’re upset, and I know you’re hurting. But I really did think it was for the best, sweetheart. You have no idea…” 

 

“I have no idea of what, Mom? That you sent away James Carrigan, that you sent away my real father?” 

 

“Justin, that entire thing was a mistake…” 

 

“NO!” Justin shouted, startling Jennifer. “I saw that picture Mom, he loved you and you loved him. He still loves you; I saw it in his eyes. He’s an artist like me. He wanted to stay, he wanted me to be his, but you sent him away and you let fucking Craig try to be my father!” 

 

“You saw him…?” 

“It’s not…fucking…fair!” 

 

Jennifer reached out and took her trembling son in her arms. She felt him begin to sob, and though she tried to remain strong for him, she found that she could not. She too, began to weep. She hadn’t realized how much it had taken out of her to keep this a secret from Justin. She would try to go on, had probably learned to deal with this on her conscience as best as she would ever, but now she was letting go of it all. 

 

And now as she wept, she could feel just how hard the years had been. For she had lost something too. She was trying to make it easier for Justin by telling him it meant nothing, but nothing could be further from the truth. Deception was in the past. It was time for the truth.   

 

“I did love him, honey. I was already engaged to your…to Craig at the time. I met him at work and I just…” she sighed, remembering the starry-eyed girl of long ago. “He knew he was. He wasn’t scared of doing what he did best, of being an artist. So unlike Craig. From the beginning I didn’t tell him I was engaged. It wasn’t his fault. It was mine.

 

“Craig was on a month-long Europe trip, a present from his father after graduating from Dartmouth. And it was during that time that James and I got together.” 

 

Justin sniffed. “Then Craig knows.” 

 

Jennifer nodded. “He does.” 

 

“Grandma? Grandpa?” 

 

“Yes.” 

 

“And Uncle Rick, too, didn’t he? Guess he figured since I wasn’t his real nephew…” 

 

“Justin.” 

 

“And since we’re WASPS, everything was swept under the rug. Your parents preferred Craig to James for a husband and father, so they were glad when you made him leave. They probably encouraged you to make him leave, didn’t they?” 

 

Jennifer nodded again. Complete honesty this time. 

 

They sat a few minutes in silence. 

 

“Sweetheart…you saw him tonight?” 

 

Justin nodded. “Outside the hospital. Said he’d heard we’d moved to Pittsburgh and looked us up in the phonebook and followed me. He wanted to talk to me first.” 

 

Jennifer was silent again. “Do you know what he’s planning to do?” 

 

Justin nodded once more. “He said he doesn’t expect anything from you. He just wanted to talk to me a bit, get to know me. He said he wasn’t even sure if I knew I wasn’t Craig’s real son. He figured I wasn’t. Guess he knew you and Craig pretty well though, didn’t he?” 

 

After a few more minutes of Jennifer’s soft whispering, Justin wriggled out of his mother’s lingering embrace. 

 

“Can you forgive me, Justin? I thought I was doing what was right.” 

 

Justin knew she had been only thinking of what was best with him. Financial security, private school education…all things she knew Craig would give. But no acceptance, no encouragement of his natural, artistic abilities, no love…no wonder Craig had always loved Molly more. 

 

As he thought of Molly he stood up completely. He knew he had to go to Molly. She was more important. He couldn’t think more about all of this right now. “Mom, can we talk more about this later? Right now I really need to talk to Molly. I scared her. I want to apologize.” 

 

Jennifer nodded. “Okay honey,” she smiled softly. “Just…are you going to get to know him?” 

 

At the doorway, Justin turned and nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “I want to.” 

 

She smiled again. 

 

Justin smiled back. Not the Sunshine smile, but a more subdued one. He went down into the living room and saw Molly curled up on the couch, watching the Powerpuff Girls. Probably the only cartoon both had bonded over. 

 

“Molly?” 

 

He’d thought she would ignore him, would hold a childish prejudice for a few days, as kids were wont to do and as he knew his sister had done in the past. But to his very great surprise, Molly’s serious little face turned to him, eyeing him suspiciously. 

 

“You aren’t going to yell at me anymore, are you?” 

 

Justin shook his head. “No. I won’t. I really didn’t mean it, Molly. I was upset. Will you let me sit with you?” 

 

Molly looked at him a few more moments, then nodded. Justin sat down. After a few more minutes the small blond girl curled into his side. “I don’t like it when you’re mad,” she said softly. 

“No, I don’t either,” Justin responded. 

 

“Why were you?” 

 

Justin hesitated. “It was something dumb. Don’t worry about it. Tell you later, all right?” 

 

Molly looked as if she were going to protest, but on further inspection of her brother’s face she did not.

 

“Bubbles is awesome.” 

 

Justin laughed. “Yeah. She is.” He thought for a moment. “Were you trying to tell me something earlier?” 

 

Molly waved her little hand. “It doesn’t matter. Tell you later.”

 

Brother and sister smiled at each other and continued to watch their favorite cartoon, but Justin’s mind was still going a mile a minute. 

  

                                       *          *            *

  Brian was nervous. He knew that he just might find out if Justin was missing him, if the blond still thought about him at all, and bottom line if he still had a chance with him.   

He found a parking spot quite easily, as it was still quite early. He sat in his car a few minutes, trying to gather his bearings before he went in. 

 

_Calm down_ , he told himself. _It’ll be all right_. 

 

_Please let it be all right_. 

 

He got out of the car and walked inside. 

 

There were many people bustling around. He wasn’t sure exactly where to begin. He knew he’d have to ask someone. 

 

The tall brunette went right up to a pretty young woman at a desk. The woman smiled softly at the earnest-looking boy. 

 

Brian swallowed hard, then determinedly plowed ahead with his plan. 

 

“I’d like to see Matt Albright, please.” 


	20. How Can It Be Possible?

  
Author's notes: Well, this chapter is VERY plot-heavy and there is a lot of conversation. Howerver, all of it is very crucial. Please read, and if you do, please comment! They all help so much more than you could ever imagine. This chapter is dedicated to all my beautiful friends and readers, who are always there for me. I love you all :)   


* * *

Chapter 20: How Can It Be Possible?

 

Justin’s eyes were sliding in and out of focus. No matter how hard their owner attempted to keep them fixated on the boring, ancient Mr. Clarke, they begged for relief and danced elsewhere.

 

There were a few empty seats dotted around the classroom, as always (mostly jocks, among them Hobbs, who were all probably cutting class), but Justin only had eyes for the one lone seat directly across the room. 

 

He sighed and let out a breath, shaky. 

 

If anyone asked, the blond would deny that the sigh was of pathos, of suffering, of want. 

 

But if not, then what was did it mean? 

 

Relief, of course. Contentment. 

 

_You’re a fucking terrible liar, Taylor,_ he reprimanded himself.

 

Justin rubbed his face hard. 

  _Brian let his pencil slip from his fingers and watched it slowly roll away from him. It reached the end of the desk and he watched it disappear and heard the weak yellow wood hit the floor with a soft plink._ _The boy slowly slinked out of his seat and got on his knees as if looking for his pencil, hiding from the teacher’s eyes. When Clarke was looking the other way, Brian slipped one hand between the small gap in the back of Justin’s chair and groped one of the boy’s tempting mounds._ _Startled, even though Brian had already done this twice before during previous classes, Justin jumped slightly in his seat with a small yelp. Brian quickly withdrew his hand and looked up innocently, preparing himself for what was to come_ _Clarke was not fooled. “Mr. Kinney,” he barked. “What are you doing?”_ _Brian arched a thin eyebrow and got to his feet, twirling his pencil with his fingers. “Just picking up my pencil,” he answered impudently and coolly, aware of the rest of the class staring at him._

Justin laughed softly to himself, amused and saddened simultaneously, feeling the sting of unshed tears burning behind his eyelids. Why was Brian so anti-authority, anyway?

 

He couldn’t get over how long ago it seemed. 

 

“The AP test WILL challenge you in various different ways…” 

 

The fucker was at it again. At least once a week, Clarke felt it was his duty to instill the fear of God (more like the fear of his wrath) in his students by freaking them out with rants on the difficulty of AP tests. 

 

“This quarter, I will be checking to ensure you are reading the textbook every night for a quiz grade…”

 

Justin groaned not so quietly, earning a rude look from the brown-nosing students in the class. He didn’t care. They hated him anyway. They thought it wasn’t fair that Justin could do whatever he wanted in Clarke’s class and not get reprimanded. Many didn’t think he even worked that hard in school anyway, and were disgusted that the “slacker art student” still managed to pass his classes with flying colors. 

 

Kayla Mooney locked eyes with Justin. She gave Justin an ugly stare and turned away. 

 

The blond boy laughed to himself once again. He remembered the first day of school, the girl draped all over him, trying to get his attention. She’d made a fool of herself, to be frank. Brian had come to the rescue. She’d given up on him since then and now resorted to treating him like he was less than the gum on her shoe. Justin could care less. Kayla hovered in the top 5 of the class, desperately pushing for valedictorian, coveting Justin’s position. He was sure she’d sell her soul to the devil for that particular accolade. 

 

He’d been salutatorian for a few months, but when he went to talk to his counselor a couple of days ago, she’d informed him that he was now in the number one spot. 

 

Of course he’d been pleased, but that worried Justin. He knew Brian had been valedictorian. He’d inquired as to what had happened to the brunette. The counselor had spieled about privacy and student/counselor confidentiality, but not before he saw a vexed look pass over her face prior to securing an expressionless façade once more.

 

Where was he anyway? 

 

“…I expect 4s and 5s on this test from each and every one of you…”

 

“He shouldn’t count on Hobbs,” came a quiet, sarcastic comment from another student somewhere behind him. The blond smirked, then turned back to his previous thoughts.

 

Justin told himself he wasn’t that concerned, but he was. All the fight and fire the brunette had in the past had seemed to drain out of him lately. Clarke had been bullying Brian in class during the last few weeks, pleased by this new development.  He wasn’t doing well in PE, either. He’d heard from a couple of other jocks that their teacher (who also happened to be the boys’ soccer coach) had issued Brian an ultimatum. Shape up in the next few months or he was off the team for the spring season. Training began in late March. 

 

And he’d seen Clarke gloat the other day as he stood by the door at the end of class, passing out tests from the previous unit. Justin had packed up and was exiting the classroom. Brian was one student ahead. The taller boy had unconcernedly stuffed the exam into his backpack, not even giving the paper a glance. Justin however, had managed to catch sight of the huge red 48 at the top of the sheet before it was hastily stowed away.

 

Something just wasn’t right. Both boys had always cared about grades, almost to the point of being competitive with each other. 

  _“I got 1500 on my SATs!” Justin said proudly._ _Brian rolled his eyes._ _“1500? That’s great baby, I didn’t know that!” Emmett said._

_“How could you_ not _have heard by now?” Brain murmured, which earned him an elbow to the ribs from Justin._

 

And Brian didn’t think he knew, but he was aware that Brian’s SAT score had been 1520. When he’d asked, Brian had smiled softly, ruffled his hair, and whispered “1480.” Justin had giggled over his triumph for a few days. Eventually, while checking over one of Brian’s assignments one day during lunch (Brian had been getting a soft drink from one of the vending machines), he’d gotten a glimpse of one of the other boy’s college applications. 

 

Brian could have been the one to gloat. But he didn’t. He tolerated Justin’s ramblings. 

 

Why? 

  _He knew how important it was to you_ , a little voice whispered in his ear. _He didn’t really care. Not that much anyway. He…he loved you._

Justin groaned again. Back at square one. 

 

*          *            *

 

“Excuse me, ma’am?” 

 

The pretty older woman, walking down one of the hospital corridors with a bag of McDonald’s in her hand and about to turn into a room, turned to look at the teenage boy. 

 

“Yes?” 

 

“Um…is this Matt Albright’s room?” 

 

Regan inwardly sighed with relief. She’d been starting to think that no other teenagers, other than Justin and her oldest son, would come to see Matt.

 

“You must be one of Matt’s friends,” Regan said brightly. She extended her hand. “I’m Regan Albright. Thank you so much for coming to visit.” 

 

Brian slowly took the proffered hand. “Brian Kinney,” he said, studying the woman’s face to see if she would get suspicious or wary that she hadn’t heard the name before. To his relief, the smile did not slip. Matt must not mention his friends very often. 

 

“Well Brian, I was just about to take some lunch in to Matt. He hates hospital food,” she gave him another smile, but this one was a bit more teary. 

 

Brian didn’t know what to say to that. He could barely talk to emotional kids his age, let alone adults. What could anyone say to a mother about to lose a son to something beyond her control, beyond prayers, beyond fuck-knows what else? 

 

“Are you on your lunch break?” she asked, trying to change the subject. 

 

He didn’t want to lie to her, but he knew she wouldn’t be very impressed if he told her he’d skipped school for the day. “Yes, Mrs. Albright.”

 

She smiled at his politeness. “Please call me Regan.” She then arched an eyebrow, puzzled. “You must not go to St. James then, if you can drive here and back in only an hour.” 

 

“No, I don’t. I go to school here in Pittsburgh.” 

 

Regan still looked nonplussed. Fuck. He’d have to tell her. 

 

“I’m a friend of Justin’s,” _swallow that damn lump in your throat, Kinney_ , “we go to school together. I met Matt through Justin a few months ago when Justin first transferred from St. James.” 

 

The woman looked satisfied and smiled again. “Oh, a friend of Justin’s? Well, let’s not keep you any longer then, if you have to get back to school soon. You know he comes by every day at 3:00?” she swallowed hard. “I don’t know what Matt would do without him…” Tears jumped to her eyes once again. 

 

_Fuck_ , Brian thought, _she’s more hormonal than a pregnant Emmett_. He shuddered, not wanting to dwell on that that horrible thought. He knew he couldn’t blame her though. Just look at what she had to go through on a daily fucking basis.

 

Regan hurriedly scrubbed hard at her eyes. Brian noticed that she, perhaps for a while now, was not wearing any eye makeup. 

 

“Please come in,” she said quietly to Brian, walking into the room. 

 

Brian swallowed hard and followed her in. 

 

“Matt, someone’s here to see you…” Regan said brightly. 

 

Matt looked up from the glossy car magazine he had idly been thumbing through for the last few minutes. His eyes locked onto Brian’s, dark brown assessing, almost challenging hazel. 

 

A smile flitted across the boy’s face. “Hello Brian.” 

 

Brian sighed in what could be called relief. “Hey Matt.” 

 

“Call me if either of you boys need anything,” Regan smiled. She slowly walked back out. 

 

Brian watched her leave. Apparently Regan knew how to mind her own business. She really was a very woman, the nicest mother he’d ever known, aside from Debbie of course. And Jennifer. 

 

The two dark-haired boys studied each other for a moment, until Brian finally broke the silence. 

 

“I didn’t know if you’d remember me.” 

 

Matt smiled again. “Of course I do,” he said. “We met just that one time at Babylon, but hey, I’m gay. I remember all hot guys.” 

 

Brian smirked. Like Molly, Matt was good for his ego. “Even though we didn’t really talk.” 

 

The other boy laughed. “I remember. You were too busy glaring at me the whole night.” 

 

Brian smiled back, but nevertheless felt a pang of sadness. 

 

“Hey, why don’t you sit down? Take this seat,” Matt urged, leaning over and prodding an armchair next to the bed. 

 

“You know, I knew immediately you were going to be with Justin,” Matt said. 

 

Brian was surprised. This kid apparently didn’t mince words. 

 

“Did you?” 

 

“Oh yeah, I knew that as soon as I stepped aside, you’d be there for him. I was actually kind of hoping you would. I knew he’d need you.” 

 

Brian furrowed his brow. “You mean when you broke up with him, you already knew you had cancer?” 

 

Matt nodded guiltily. 

 

“And you didn’t tell him?” 

 

Matt shook his head. 

 

“That’s fucked.” 

 

“I know,” the other boy muttered. “It wasn’t fair. But I just didn’t want to see me…like this, you know? And Justin didn’t need a guy with baggage, he has all that shit with his dad, he didn’t need any more.” He sighed. “But I was wrong, wasn’t I? Even now, he still cares and he’s here, even if every day I’m less and less the person I used to be. Turning into a fucking shadow.” 

 

“Justin would never see you like that,” Brian replied. He didn’t even know why he said it, but he knew it was true. 

 

Matt was silent another moment. “I know.” A beat. “You really did love him, didn’t you?” 

 

Brian felt his guard rear its ugly head, but he tried desperately to quell it. This was, after all, why he’d come. “Yeah. But I fucked it up. I fucked it up and I don’t know if there’s a way to fix it.” 

 

“You can be sure if I’d been healthy, I would have tracked you and tried to take you down,” Matt said hotly, pulling himself up higher onto the pillows in a more rigid and proud position. 

 

“Believe me, I wanted to do the same when you broke up with him,” Brian fired back. 

 

Matt nodded. “Touché.” Another beat. “We hurt him. He deserves better than us both.” 

 

Brian didn’t argue. 

 

“You still love him too.” It wasn’t a question. 

 

Matt nodded without hesitation. “I always will. But he’s meant to be my friend, nothing more.” He leaned back against the pillows. “I won’t lie to you. You fucked up bad. You totally misinterpreted that hug at the diner the day after Justin’s birthday. He doesn’t like talking about it. But he did say something once…that he’d gotten worse at St. James, but somehow because it was you, it was different.” 

 

Brian didn’t know what to say in his defense. How _could_ he defend himself? “I’ve tried talking to him,” he started, “but he won’t even…nothing.” 

 

Matt glared at him. “You must not be trying hard enough.” 

 

The other boy’s eyes had been glued to the floor, but then lifted up indignantly. “What?” 

 

Matt crossed his arms over his chest. “I refuse to believe that you tried your very best. That night at Babylon, Justin told me a few things. How you tried to get into his pants those first days. How eventually you settled for being a friend. But even then, when you still hadn’t made another move, I knew you were biding your time, waiting. You weren’t going to take no for an answer. Because I know your type, Brian.” 

 

Brian arched an eyebrow. 

 

“Yes. I do. All my so-called friends back at St. James…all those jocks. A cheerleader won’t put out? Just insist, insist, insist. Even the dumber ones were beginning to learn how to manipulate.”

 

“I never manipulated Justin into liking me,” Brian growled. 

 

Matt smiled. “No. You didn’t. You drew him in.” 

 

Brian sighed, weary. “So what are you saying? I’ve never been a fan of guessing.” 

 

“You have to try harder. Do you think he’ll be impressed by a few lame attempts? I don’t think he’ll welcome you back with open arms though, Kinney, and can’t say I blame him,” Matt said, again suddenly stern, “but with time you…you might become what he thought you were.” 

 

Brian slouched down in his seat. “Easier said than done,” he whispered to himself more than Matt. 

  

*          *            *

 

“Do you really think that’s a good idea?” Emmett said hesitatingly. “I really don’t think Baby is ready to jump into another relationship. That disaster at Babylon was only a month ago.”

 

Ben raised his eyebrows and sipped his hot tea. 

 

Michael scratched his head. “But Ben and I both met this kid, and I think he’ll be good for Justin. He has more in common with him, that’s for sure. I mean, this kid is at PIFA, also in the arts…the music department, actually. I think Justin will thank us later. Right Ben?” he looked at his boyfriend, asking for backup. 

 

Ben continued to sip at his tea. 

 

Emmett sighed. “I don’t know,” he mused. “I know things have been bad, but I always pictured Brian coming to his senses, apologizing, and whisking his princess away on his horse. The eternal white knight.” 

 

Drew and Ben looked at each other in a mixture of exasperation and amusement. 

 

Michael shrugged. “I…well. I don’t know anymore. I don’t know what the hell Brian is thinking anymore.” 

 

Emmett tapped his ring against his mug. “Well honey, I think you should wait a bit. Give him more time. I think we’ll know when Baby is ready for another man.” 

 

Ben glanced at his watch. “We’re late for the gym,” he told Drew, slapping down some money and standing up. 

 

Drew also put down his own share and leaned over to press a quick kiss to Emmett’s forehead. “See you later,” he murmured. He then turned to Michael. “See you around, Michael.” 

 

“Yeah,” Michael replied, giving Ben a kiss. “Later.” 

 

Both young men exited the diner after yelling a quick goodbye to Debbie. 

 

Deb hovered near the counter. “Michael,” she crowed. “Will you run home and check on Vic?” 

 

Michael sighed, reaching into his pocket and extracting some money. He then started bundling up. He knew his Ma would throw a fit if she saw him leave with no scarf, hat, or gloves. 

 

Emmett gave his smaller friend a sympathetic look. 

 

“He’s got that cold and I don’t like him being alone too long,” Debbie continued. “But don’t let him know I was worried. Here,” she pressed a cup of steaming chicken soup into Michael’s hands. “Bring this to him.” 

 

Michael rolled his eyes. “Ma, if he sees this soup he’ll know you’re worried.” 

 

Deb glared, hands on her hips. “Shut up, you little asshole. Just make sure he eats it, all right?” With that, she bustled back over into the kitchen. 

 

“Bye Em,” Michael called. 

 

Emmett waggled his fingers in Michael’s direction as he too left. 

 

The tall young man drained the last of cappuccino. He suddenly felt his phone start vibrating against his thigh. He reached down into his pant pocket and scooped his phone up. He looked at the screen, smiled, and put the cell up to his ear. 

 

“Baby?” 

 

“Hey Em. Just wanted to know if you were at the diner.” 

 

“Absolutely honey. You coming?” Emmett asked as the door to the diner swung open once again.

 

“Already here,” Justin smiled from the doorway. 

 

Emmett grinned at the boy. “Well honey, I…” he frowned, then snapped his phone shut. 

 

The blond took a seat at Emmett’s booth, opposite his friend. 

 

“You just missed the rest of the boys,” Emmett sighed. “But I’m glad you came. I was alone!” 

 

Justin smiled. “Well, you’re not now.” 

 

The other boy smiled back. “I’m glad.” He replied. “So any particular reason you’re here, Sunshine? We haven’t seen you at the diner in about two weeks, though I know you told me you always go see Matt after school.” 

 

Justin nodded. Over the last few weeks he’d grown even closer to Emmett, talking to him on the phone almost every day. “Yeah. But um…well, I wanted to stop by and get some lemon bars. He loves them almost as much as I do,” he said, smirking a little. 

 

Emmett smiled back once again. Justin’s appetite was famous among his friends and among the diner crowd, as was his great liking for lemon bars. 

 

“But that’s not all of it.” 

 

Emmett looked up at Justin’s sudden solemnity. “What is it, Baby? Has something happened?” 

 

The blond sighed. “Yeah. Not…not bad, I guess. Definitely not bad. Um well, it’s not an easy thing to say,” he said, scuffing his shoes against the tile of the floor. “I was leaving the hospital last night and I saw my father.” 

 

Emmett narrowed his eyes. “Craig? What the fuck was _he_ doing there?” 

 

“No, Em,” Justin said. “I didn’t say Craig.” 

 

The other boy looked at him, confused.   

 

Justin regaled his tale of shock, excitement, and hope to Emmett, talking quickly, in his haste mixing up his words and stumbling over his own sentences. But the taller boy, fairly fluent in Justin-speak, understood. 

 

“Fuck,” Emmett breathed. “If this isn’t _exactly_ like _Days of Our Lives_!”  

 

The blond gave his friend one of those looks he was so used to. Irritated yet affectionate. 

 

“Yeah well, unfortunately, this is not a soap. Emmett, what do you think? Do you think I should get to know him? It’s not his fault, is it? Sure, he left, but…but what else could he do? And he has been looking for me, looking for ages. Do you think I owe it to him to get to know him. Do I owe it to myself? To get to know my own father?” 

 

Emmett smiled softly at the anguished boy in front of him. “Honey, it seems like you’ve already made your own conclusions. I think you know exactly what you want to do. And Baby, you rely on your instincts.” 

 

Justin smiled broadly, jumped up and gave Emmett a peck on the cheek. “Thanks Em. I better get going. I have to go see Matt, then I’m going to stop by and see James…uhh, my…my dad gave me the address of the motel he’s staying at, and the room number, so I’m…yeah.” He dashed behind the counter, grabbed a paper bag, and helped himself to several lemon bars. He left the money where Deb could see it and shouted a quick goodbye at Emmett, who gave him a cheery wave. 

 

*          *            *

 

Brian slowly leaned his head back as the hospital elevator whizzed several floors down, ideas whirring in his head. He was going to be busy the next several weeks. After talking to Matt about Justin, he’d talked to him about various other topics. He’d eventually confessed to Regan that he had skipped the day. She’d been disapproving, but also began to talk to Brian for the last hour.

 

And now Brian knew what had to be done. 

 

Not just for Justin. 

 

But for Matt, too. 

 

He smiled at the receptionist behind the front desk in the lobby and headed out the doors and into the less-crowded parking lot to get to his car.

 

And stopped dead in his tracks.

 

Fuck. He’d lost track of time. 

 

Justin. 

 

The blond also stared back at Brian. In his hand was a paper bag, on which Brian would’ve bet serious money that it was filled with lemon bars. 

 

He’d expected anger. Hatred. Anything but…

 

“Brian…” 

 

Desperation? 

 

“Brian, this is all between us, please…” Justin’s voice shook slightly. “…Please don’t make him hurt anymore. Don’t kick him when he’s down. I don’t know how you found out, but…”

 

“Justin,” Brian said in shock. “Do you really think I’d…” he stopped. Justin did have every right to think the worst of him. 

 

“ _Please_ , Brian. He hasn’t done anything to you…” 

 

“I know,” the other boy answered. “I haven’t been hurting him. Please believe me, Justin.” Now it was his turn to beg. “Please. Molly let me know about Matt and I just had to talk to him, to apologize for fucking everything, but not to hurt him. Never to hurt him. I wouldn’t do that.” 

 

“Wouldn’t you?” Justin differed, a tear sparkling in his eye. 

 

The brunette found he had to look away. It hurt too much. “Justin, I just wanted to talk. Nothing more. I even talked to Regan, and I want to help.” 

 

Justin stared hard at the dark-haired boy. His gaze seemed to soften a fraction of an inch. “You can’t,” he said, fighting to keep his voice steady. “Nobody can do anything.”

 

Brian swallowed hard. “Maybe not in the way you’d think.” 

 

The blond looked confused, then turned away. “Whatever. I…I have to go see Matt.” 

 

“Justin…I want you to help.” 

 

Justin’s eyes bored into Brian’s. “Help? Help you?” 

 

The blond scoffed. 

 

Brian reached out, wincing when Justin flinched. He put his hand on Justin’s forearm, hoping against hope that he wouldn’t reject the gesture and fling it off. Though he knew full well the blond would be completely justified if he chose to do so. To his surprise and relief, the smaller boy was still. 

 

It didn’t feel real, after thinking and remembering and dreaming of Sunshine for so long. 

 

“Justin. Regan’s in trouble.” 

 

Worry flashed across Justin’s face. “Regan?” 

 

Brian nodded, then looked around. “I…I can’t talk about it here. And it’s fucking cold. Will you…come into the car with me? I promise I won’t kidnap you,” he joked weakly, trying to make Justin smile. 

 

It didn’t work. “You know I won’t.” 

 

Brian’s face dropped slightly. “I know.” 

 

“I have to see Matt,” the blond said. “I have things to do afterwards, so…” 

 

“Five minutes. Five minutes in the waiting area in the lobby,” Brian said desperately. 

 

Anything. 

 

Anything to make sure Sunshine didn’t leave. 

 

Justin looked as if he were fighting against his better judgment. “I…you promise? Five minutes. No more?” 

 

Brian nodded. “And no less,” he said in some trepidation, thinking Justin would fly off the handle thinking the brunette had no right to make demands. And he’d be right. 

 

When he chanced a look back into Justin’s eyes, he didn’t see anger. Just weariness. 

 

“All right,” the smaller boy answered, eyes darting away from Brian. 

 

“All right,” Brian repeated in a near whisper, heading back towards the front doors. 

 

Something about the way Brian said it made Justin’s eyes go back to the other boy. Brian rarely had that tone. The blond sighed softly at the thought that went through his mind.

_No matter what he's done...how can it be possible that I still love him?_


	21. A Saucerful of Secrets

  
Author's notes:

Hey everyone. Here's the next installment. Everyone has their own motives for doing what they do...and here we learn some of them. Please read and review! =) Love all my readers. 

* * *

Chapter 21: A Saucerful of Secrets 

 

“Want a smoke?” Brian asked, trying to hide his nervousness. 

 

Justin gave him an odd look. “We’re in a _hospital_.” 

 

“Oh. Right.” 

 

“And didn’t you stop smoking?” 

 

Brian shrugged. He had, for a while there. Every time he wanted to light up and he was with Justin, he’d reach over and give the blond a kiss. 

_Sure beats the “taking a sip of water” shit._ _Does it, big guy?_ _You’re my anti-drug, Sunshine._

##  _Ad-man in training, huh?_

_You know it. Wait, I changed my mind._ _What do you mean?_ _Not my anti-drug. My spanking-new addiction._ _Someone mention spanking?_ _I like the way you think, blondie._

Justin and Brian locked eyes, then looked away. 

 

“So. Let’s hear it,” Justin sighed, shifting uncomfortably on one of the lobby’s hard plastic chairs, an eye on the clock. 

 

Brian tried hard to not show his disappointment. So much for inconspicuously trying to stretch the allotted five minutes. “I talked to Regan today, as well as Matt.” 

 

Justin wanted so much to ask the other boy why he went to Matt and what they had talked about, but he fought to maintain a certain sternness. “And?” 

 

“She and her husband are having problems, and sadly these problems are interfering with Matt’s health. The hospital bills are piling up, and their insurance is for shit. Matt’s dad could care less about his son, now that he came out completely, and especially when he has two other sons. So he said, since there’s ‘no fucking hope anyway,’ that it’s best to stop all sorts of treatment and just bring him home.” 

 

The smaller boy’s eyes were huge. He knew Matt’s dad was a jackass, hell, he had to be if he and Craig were best buddies at the country club. But this was fucked. No fucking hope? Was he serious? 

 

“There’s always hope,” Justin said, nearly shaking with anger. 

 

Brian nodded miserably.

 

A beat. 

 

“Brian.” 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

Had Brian looked at Justin, he would’ve seen a strange expression cross the blond’s face.

 

“There’s _always_ hope.” 

 

Brian sighed, oblivious. “Try telling the dumbfuck that. He’s got enough money to pay for the country club membership fees, an Ivy League tuition for his older son, private school for his younger son, baseball and football uniforms, cleats, whatever the fuck, but he can’t pay up for _this_? His son’s health is at fucking stake!” 

 

“This is fucked,” the blond said angrily. “Matt deserves every last bit of treatment. You just never know what might happen. I don’t care if everyone thinks it’s far-fetched, that it’ll never happen.”  

 

Justin stared down at his hands after his outburst, still feeling shades of disbelief. 

  _I can’t fucking believe it. A father, forsake his son, forsake his well-being, and for what? That’s supposed to be a justification, a punishment for being queer, for being something he never chose to be, for being something he let himself be, after hiding for so long?_  

“But I’ve got a plan,” Brian said after a while. 

 

Justin’s head snapped up, despondence turning into curiosity. “What?” 

 

“Fundraisers,” Brian answered. “I can get Debbie in on it, she can promote the fuck out of it, like she always does. I can get some sort of event going at Babylon, at the GLC maybe, pass out fliers, and raise money. What do you the fucker would say to that? Fucking Liberty Avenue cares more about his son than he does.” 

 

Justin sat in his seat in awe. The Brian he knew had hated the GLC, had hated getting Debbie involved in anything, had hated _getting help_ for anything. 

 

“But I thought…you’ve never liked…” 

 

“There are some things I can’t do by myself,” Brian interrupted. “And for something as important as this, I can’t afford to fuck up.” 

 

The blond stared at the other boy, overwhelmed by Brian’s selflessness. He was a proud person, and here he was, about to go to others for help, all for Matt, a boy he’d never had any reason to like or care for in the first place. 

 

“But why are you doing this?” 

 

Brian raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?” 

 

“You and Matt have never been really good friends. I thought he wasn’t all that important to you.” Inwardly, Justin winced at the words that had come out of his mouth. What did it matter, really? The only thing that mattered was that Matt and Regan get the financial assistance they so desperately needed. 

 

The taller boy was quiet for a second, giving the blond a measuring glance. He bit his lip, rolled his lips in. Justin, recognizing the signs of Brian fighting with himself, remained silent. 

 

“He wasn’t. In some ways, he still isn’t. We’ll never be best friends, probably not even close friends. You know I don’t trust easily. But aside from the fact that he deserves good treatment…”

 

Brian’s voice died, and he blinked. 

 

Justin also recognized these motions. He leaned forward, forgetting himself. 

 

“What else is it?” 

 

The brunette let out a long sigh. “He’s important to you.” 

 

The smaller boy stared directly into Brian’s eyes, and for a moment, some unspoken message seemed to pass between them. Justin rose from his chair. 

 

“I really have to get going, Matt is going to wonder where I am. But…call me, okay? Whatever I can to do help, let me know.” 

 

Brian smiled almost wistfully. “Promise to pick up this time?” 

 

The blond nodded. “I will.”

 

He got up and for the first time in what seemed like forever, he smiled at Brian. Not a Sunshine smile, but a smile all the same. 

 

The taller boy’s heart seemed to seize up. 

 

Justin walked away. 

 

Brian continued to sit on the uncomfortable plastic chair for a little while longer, dazing off into space, slouching down further in his seat as if he was seated in a squashy armchair, feeling content. He’d almost forgotten how it felt.

 

And suddenly, he found himself sitting up straight. 

  _“Brian.”_ _“Yeah.”_ _“There’s_ always _hope.”_  

He paled, then brightened. 

 

Always hope. 

 

Always hope. 

 

And Brian Kinney was speechless. 

 

Did he mean it _that_ way?

  

*                                              *                                              *

  

“Fuck! Goddammit! That son of a bitch!” 

 

Craig angrily paced the room, now and then tossing furious looks in Jennifer’s direction, who sat at the kitchen table.

 

“You call me from the store in the middle of the Goddamn day, and for what? For this shit? To tell me that free-loader, Picasso-wannabe, flea-bitten rat found us?” He continued to pace. “We were very comfortable in the old town, we were fine. Then Justin fucked everything up with that queer shit, and then we get a phone call from the fucker telling us he wants to get to know his son. _His son!_ Fuck that! I raised Justin, I fed him, I clothed him, I paid fucking private school tuition for him. If not for me, Justin would be a bastard, an illegitimate little mongrel decaying in public school. And you know what, maybe it would’ve been for the best! Justin keeps saying he’s gay anyway, doesn’t he, and he’s wasting all that fucking private school to become another fucking Picasso wannabe!” 

 

Jennifer tried to keep herself calm, though she was twisting her napkin in a combination of nerves, anxiety, and anger. “Craig, no matter what, you are Justin’s father, and he knows that. _Your_ name is listed under ‘Father’ on his birth certificate. Justin has _your_ last name. He is our son. _We_ are his parents, and…” 

 

“…Only because I haven’t legally disowned the brat, which I have a mind to do anyway…” 

 

“You don’t mean that Craig, I know you don’t. You loved Justin since the very beginning, because you loved me.” 

 

Craig stopped his pacing and looked over at Jen, noting her use of the past tense. 

 

Jennifer pretended she hadn’t noticed and continued, looking out the kitchen window. “You were there when he was born. They cleaned him up and put him in your arms and you looked down into the bundle of blue blankets and you named him Justin Craig. You brought him over to my side and we both saw when he opened those blue eyes and smiled up at us.” 

 

Her husband, she noted, had now sat down on the couch, face in his hands. “You have no idea Jen, how glad I was that he favored you when it came to looks,” he said, voice muffled, gruff.

 

Jennifer nodded and resumed what she had to say. “He took his first steps 10 months later, stumbling over to _you_. His first day of school, he clung to _your_ hand. He rode his bike. He got straight As. He won spelling competitions and even tried golfing and Little League, for _you_. And he was _your_ boy, Craig. He still is. I don’t know why you can’t fucking see it.” 

 

Craig looked up from his hands and over at his wife, startled by the sudden vulgarity. He hardly ever heard Jen swear. 

 

“And yes, the way you’ve been treating Justin is disgusting and vile. And I know you claim it’s because he’s gay. But that’s not the only reason. You’re pushing him away because you don’t want it to hurt. Don’t think I didn’t notice that you started holding back the moment we got the first call from James, asking to see Justin. And he called a few weeks _before_ Justin told us he was gay. _That’s_ the biggest reason, isn’t it? You’re scared he might take away your boy.” 

 

Jennifer watched as her husband puffed himself up proudly. “I’m not scared of anything,” he growled. 

 

“Oh but you are,” Jen said, her voice slightly amused. 

 

Craig pulled himself up to his feet once again. “Justin _was_ my son. But the older he gets, don’t you see it? He gets more and more like his deadbeat father. Painting pretty pictures, hanging out at clubs…fucking queer gene must have come from _his_ side, definitely not from mine!” 

 

“I don’t believe you know how stupid you sound right now,” the blond woman hissed. “There is no fucking queer gene. You went to Dartmouth, didn’t you? You know it, deep down. And yes, in those respects, there’s no denying it, Justin is like James. But where do you think he got the characteristics of being stubborn, determined, studious? James was good at what he did, but he was never an academic. Yes you had family connections at Dartmouth, but you were smart, Craig, even if it doesn’t seem like it right now. Justin got all As because you taught him to get all As. Justin won’t ever back down from something he wants because you taught him never to give up. Don’t you fucking see? Justin doesn’t even know James. Justin is more yours than he’ll ever be anyone else’s.”

 

She looked over at her husband and for the first time, really looked at him. He was defeated. He seemed to have aged a lot in a small span of time. He was worried. Justin was his boy, his son, his only one. And she knew he, like many fathers, wanted to keep him tiny and devoted and worshipful. Justin had worshipped his father when he was younger. And if Craig had been more accepting and hadn’t fucked everything up, she was certain Justin would adore him even more so now than ever before. 

 

If. 

 

Maybe when? 

 

“You don’t want to lose your son, but you _are_ losing him, because you’re pushing him. Don’t push him away, Craig. You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if deep down, you just don’t want Justin to adore anyone else. Is that it? Sure, I know you don’t like homosexuality. But really, did you want to be the only one?”

 

Craig looked over at his wife, for the first time in a long while really recognizing how perceptive she really was, and how wise. 

 

And, also for the first time in a long time, the man began to feel the beginnings of regret. 

  

*                                                      *                                                              *

  

“So, Bri,” Emmett sang, skipping over to the counter where Brian stood impatiently. “I couldn’t believe my ears when Michael told me what you want to do for Matt, and I was even more surprised when I heard you’d be coming down here to this humble little place and grace us all with your presence!” 

 

Brian glowered at the tall swishy queen, though felt relieved in a strange sort of way. He hadn’t been feeling like himself lately, and Emmett had a way of treating him as if he was still Brian Kinney, as if nothing had changed, even though it had. That was exactly what he needed sometimes, and it seemed like Emmett knew it. The other boy really was smarter than lots of people gave him credit for.

 

“Yeah, well, I figured I could lower myself for a few hours and come to this dump,” Brian said smoothly, glaring at a garish top on a mannequin not too far away. “That has way too much color.” 

 

Emmett rolled his eyes. “Some of us like a little sparkle, Mr. Kinney.”

 

“Anyway,” the brunette interrupted, “I want to talk to the manager and see if I have permission to start putting shit up on the windows and stuff. Whichever queers come in here might have no fashion sense, but at least there’s money to be made off of them.”

 

The other boy glared at him, then moved out from behind the counter and folded a sweater. “Well, the old manager just retired and is heading to Miami or Cuba or someplace like that to play Daddy to some hot young Cabana boys…” 

 

Brian snorted. 

 

“…So right now the assistant manager is in charge. Our new manager just went out; it’s his first day and he’ll be back in a few minutes.” 

 

Emmett tried not to grin as Brian huffed in impatience and looked around once or twice. He knew the Big Bad Kinney didn’t want to be seen here at all. 

 

“While we wait, Mr. Kinney, let me tell you that I think it’s wonderful that you’re helping out Matt,” Emmett began. 

 

Brian cocked an eyebrow. 

 

“But I’m curious. You only saw Matt once before. Why the sudden interest in helping him out? I’m not saying it’s a bad thing,” the other boy corrected himself hastily, “but I do wonder. How did you even know the family was having financial problems?” 

 

He internally winced, thinking he’d blown it and that Brian would kick his ass. But to his surprise, Brian sighed and shrugged his leather-clad shoulders. “He’s a good guy. I wanted to talk to him about some…shit.” 

 

Emmett tried not to grin again, knowing full well what the “shit” was about. “Well, I think it’s wonderful that you’re doing everything you can to help Matt and his family.” He smiled at Brian, but to himself, he gloated. 

_He does want to help Matt. But more than that…it’ll give him and Justin a chance to be together in the same room. And they’ll have to be civil. Oh, he’s good, that Mr. Kinney._  

Brian looked as if he could tell what Emmett was thinking and glared away. “What’s this new manager like, Honeycutt? I was expecting to have to deal with that old washed-up queer who would do anything if I acted like I wanted the poor fucker.” 

 

It was the queen’s turn to roll his eyes. Bri was so obviously changing the subject. 

 

“Bri, please don’t call me Honeycutt, and you are way too harsh with poor Jaco. If I told you the manager was a coke addict and was an underground porn king and drug lord, would you still want his help?” Emmett challenged, this time folding a pair of lime-green lame pants. 

 

The moody brunette shrugged. “Fuck if I care. As long as he’s not an asshole and lets me hang up my fucking posters in his fucking window, I don’t give a shit.”

 

“You can rest assured I am neither a coke addict, underground porn king, or drug lord, and I WILL let you hang up your fucking posters in the fucking window,” a voice chuckled. 

 

Emmett gulped and turned around. “Sir, I didn’t see you.” 

 

Brian watched as a good-looking man walked over to the counter and set some sandwiches down. Something about this man was familiar…but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. “For the whole staff,” he said to the boy when he saw him looking. “They do so damn much for the store.” He then turned to look at Emmett, grinning. “Emmett, there is a back door.” 

 

“Yeah…” the squeamish employee squeaked out before hurrying off into a corner to continue folding. 

 

“Don’t forget your sandwich,” the man called after him. 

 

Brian was impressed. Emmett had mentioned it was his first day, and he already knew his employees’ names and got them food. It could be a ploy, he was aware of that, to get them on his side and thus able to do his bidding, but the brunette for some reason didn’t get that impression. 

 

“I’m Brian Kinney,” he said, holding out his hand, a bit puzzled. 

 

The manager smiled, taking the hand. 

 

“James Carrigan.”


	22. Dysfunctional Family

  
Author's notes:

Much love to rromantic, discothequey, wickedpookie, and libertysfic =) If you read, please review. Feedback is love. 

Disclaimer: Don't own them. Sadly. 

* * *

Chapter 22: Dysfunctional Family

 

Opening the door to his house, Justin couldn’t help smiling. His mind ran wild with ideas, ecstatic over the possibility of helping out Matt. For a moment there, he’d felt nauseatingly sick to his stomach and felt an acidic taste in his mouth. Yet Brian’s plan had made him breathe a sigh of relief. He still wasn’t over the shock of Brian spearheading this entire project. He’d always known that deep down, the brunette was a good person, but going this far to help someone he didn’t know very well? 

 

But there was something else. 

  _“He’s important to you.”_  

A strange little shiver ran up Justin’s spine. 

 

Though his mind was on other things, his stomach registered the smell of recently-baked, warm cookies and growled hungrily. The blond was pulled from his thoughts when he felt the monster that lived in his stomach rear its ugly head. It was evidently time for food.

 

He wandered into the kitchen and saw the plate on the table, surprised that there were still some left. Molly obviously hadn’t been down yet. And they were chocolate chip, too. 

 

Justin strained to listen for sounds of his mother. When he couldn’t, he grinned and snatched six cookies. His mom always bugged him about eating so many, even if, as Emmett said, they never affected his “twinkie physique.” But evidently she and Molly were both out.

 

The blond pushed three into his mouth almost at once, closing his eyes and reveling in the sweet taste. They were the chewy kind, too.

 

A chuckle from the living room made Justin’s eyes fly open, and made him turn. 

 

“Never can fill that hollow leg, can you son?” 

 

The boy wasn’t sure whether to laugh or scowl as his eyes rested on Craig sitting on the couch. What was he doing home so early, anyway? And “son”? The bastard hadn’t called Justin “son” in what seemed like months, ever since he’d announced that he was applying to PIFA, really. Sitting in the living room on a weekday at 5:00 PM wasn’t something Craig did regularly. At the very least, he’d have the TV on so that he could ignore everyone in peace, glued to the game or a fight, only bothering to rise from the couch when dinner was announced. 

 

Laugh? Scowl? Shrug? Nod? 

 

Justin settled on a small grunt, turned, and was about to go up the stairs to his room when...

 

“Justin.” 

 

The blond turned at the foot of the stairs, arching an eyebrow and looking at his once-father steadily. 

 

He watched in silent fascination as he saw a dull red flush creeping up Craig’s neck, coloring his ears. It looked as if he was straining to say something, but what it was he wanted to say, Justin had no clue. 

 

“Uhh…never mind. Go do your homework.” 

 

Snorting in contempt, Justin went up the stairs and pushed the door to his room open. 

 

Only to find Molly curled up under his blankets. 

 

“Molly?” 

 

The small girl poked her head out from under the comforter. “Your bed smells like boy,” she stated, wrinkling her nose. 

 

Her brother rolled his eyes. “What are you doing in my bed, brat?” he asked, striding over to the bed and tugging on the sheets. 

 

Molly only clung to them tighter. “Smelling like boy isn’t that bad, I guess. Jenna and I went into _her_ brother’s room, and it smelled like dirty socks.”  

 

Justin continued to pull on the sheets. “I did _not_ need to know that. And where’s Mom? And why aren’t you with her?” 

 

The girl sat up. “I think she wanted to be alone,” she answered quietly. “She and Dad were talking a lot today, and she went out after they finished. Plus, she didn’t even know I was home.” 

 

The older blond gave up on the sheets and just sat on the edge of his bed. “She didn’t know you were home?” he said slowly, fear starting to set in as he wondered what exactly Molly had heard and what his parents – well, his mom and Craig – had talked about. 

 

Molly grinned sneakily. “I skipped my Girl Scout meeting and walked back home. I told her you said you’d pick me up later. I guess she didn’t even call you to check up on me. I was scared she might.” 

 

Justin glared at his sister. “You’re not supposed to walk around alone,” he said adamantly. “I should tell Mom,” he threatened. Secretly though, the blond was worried. What had preoccupied his mom so much that she’d forgotten to call him to make sure Molly had been picked up from the meeting? 

 

The small girl frowned, crawling over to where Justin sat and nestling under his arm. This would take serious groveling – or serious whimpering. Either way, she needed to find out if what she had heard earlier was true. 

 

“Don’t be mad, Justin,” Molly begged. “I just wanted to know if you were going to be okay.” Her eyes grew wet with tears, partly to get Justin’s sympathy and partly from genuine fear. 

 

Her brother knew she was trying to appeal to his better nature, but he could also tell that she was actually a little confused and a bit nervous. “Why wouldn’t I be okay, Mollusk?” 

 

“That day we watched the Powerpuff Girls, you were really upset. You even yelled at me.” She rubbed at one of her eyes, frustrated. 

 

Justin winced. He still regretted that stupid move. 

 

“You’re not my brother?” 

 

The boy’s eyes flew open. So there it was. 

 

“Molly…” 

 

“Dad isn’t your dad, is he? Your dad’s name is James. James Carrigan.” 

 

Justin was silent. 

 

“Jester?” 

 

“Yeah, okay Molly? James is my real dad. But that doesn’t mean I’m not your brother and you’re not my sister, all right? You’re my sister through Mom’s side. No matter what, we both share Mom.” 

 

Molly pouted. “That day you said your name is Justin Carrigan, and that I’m your half-sister. Is that true?” 

 

Justin shook his head. “I was being an asshole that day, Mollusk. I was pissed that no one had told me that Dad wasn’t really my dad.” 

 

The blond girl felt that she could understand that. 

 

“So this means…” 

 

“That I’m Justin Taylor, brother of Molly Taylor and son of Jennifer Taylor.” 

 

Molly squeezed her brother even tighter. “You don’t want to be Justin Carrigan?” 

 

The boy shook his head. “Not now, at least. If I do in the future, I’ll just add it on to Taylor. But I’ve always been Justin Taylor, and that’s not about to change. Everything I’ve done in my life has been under the name Justin Taylor. And Taylor connects me to you and Mom. Why would I want to get rid of it?” 

 

“It connects you with Dad.” 

 

Justin’s jaw set. “It does.” 

 

“Do you want Dad to be your dad? Or do you want James?” 

 

Her brother shrugged. “I don’t know James well enough to answer that,” he replied. “He’s still James. He’s not Dad. And Craig…sometimes he’s still Dad. At least I’d like to think so. But when he became Craig it wasn’t because I stopped loving him…it was because he stopped loving me.”

 

The blond groaned silently to himself. Why had he let himself tell Molly that? No matter what, Craig was still her dad. She loved him and he loved her. Why should he try to poison her against him? He was a good father when it came to his sister. And try as Justin might to pretend he didn’t need a ‘Dad’; the fact was that he did. There were days when he felt Craig’s absence in his life more sharply than physical pain. Why should he deprive Molly of a father figure?

 

Though Justin kept Molly close to his side, he turned his face away when he felt his face begin to heat up and turn pink in a combination of…anger, pain, hurt, loss? 

 

Who knew? 

 

Molly raised her head. She saw that Justin was looking off into the distance, as if he were miles away, his eyes glassy. She swallowed hard. 

 

Should she tell Justin what she heard her mom say? 

  _“Justin is more yours than he’ll ever be anyone else’s.”_ _“Did you want to be the only one?”_ _“You’re scared they might take away your boy.”_  

Molly had never heard anyone talk to her father the way her mother had earlier today. And she remembered her dad had tried to pretend that what her mom was saying wasn’t true. But by the end of her mom’s speech, he’d gone quiet, a sure sign of defeat. 

 

When Justin felt he had himself under control once again, he gently laid the side of his face against the top of his sister’s head. “But no matter what happens between Dad and me, you’re my sister, Molly. Even if Dad doesn’t wan…doesn’t understand about me, even if I don’t want him in my life, that won’t change.” 

 

The blond girl smiled. “I’m your Mollusk, Jester.” 

 

Justin ruffled her hair affectionately. Even though she hated when he did that, she pretended not to care. 

 

Just this once. 

  

*                                              *                                              *

 

James watched as the last employee, Jason, a good-looking blond young man with a surfer look in his early 20s, came out of the bathroom. The older man cocked an eyebrow as he took in the vulgar outfit he’d changed into, assless chaps and a fishnet shirt. 

 

“Club?” 

 

Jason smirked, rolling his eyes. “Yeah dude, only the hottest gay dance club around. Babylon, ever heard of it? It’s where all the pretty boys go party. We’ll all have to teach you about gay Pitts lifestyle…it helps to know where the customers are at.” 

 

James laughed. “Sure, sure. Now go on, get out of here.” 

 

Jason left, very happy with his new boss. Ordinarily he’d get fired for trying to tell his boss how to do his job, but James was awesome. He could tell that old fucking manager had been at the point of kicking Jason out on his ass, but maybe he’d be secure now. Maybe he wouldn’t have to hustle anymore.

 

The new manager of Torso looked around at his little store. He still couldn’t believe he’d done it. Why would a straight man in his right mind buy a gay little clothing shop in the middle of homo heaven? Why? 

 

And it wasn’t as if he was a homophobe. Far from it. 

  _“Jennifer, I…”_ _James stopped dead as he saw who opened the door, his throat suddenly dry._ _“Craig, please. Please let me see him.”_ _The young man felt his face burn in shame. What right did he have to beg to see the son he’d made with this man’s fiancée? What right?_ _Craig Taylor stood there, in all his glory, every strand of his hundred dollar haircut in place, clean hands, dressed from head to toe in Hugo Boss, face of his Rolex gleaming in the sun. He glared at James from where he stood, looking in disdain at the other man’s dusty hands and lead-blackened fingertips, cheap clothes, and conflicted expression._ _“Jen isn’t here. Now why don’t you get the hell off my property, you flea-bitten art rat? Before I call the fucking police,” he snarled._ _“I…I don’t want trouble, Craig. I just want…I need to see my son. Please let me see him.”_ _“You know, you’ve got a lot of nerve nosing around here trying to make demands after everything you’re fucking guilty of,” Craig growled._ _“He’s my son, Craig. A DNA test will prove that, and you know it.”_ _James stood his ground as he watched the other man’s eyes form into tiny slits._ _“You stay the fuck away, Carrigan. Justin will never know you, will never know what you’ve done, will never know that you fucking exist. I’m going to raise him the way I choose, the way I please. He’s_ my _son, and don’t you fucking FORGET IT!”_ _From inside, both men stiffened as they heard the sounds of a baby’s wail, the sounds of a baby startled awake and in need of comfort._ _The second Craig took his eyes off James to glance over his shoulder in the general direction of the small bassinet, the slighter man attempted to push aside the other as he struggled to get to his infant son._ _Craig swung, fist connecting with the side of James’ face. He staggered backwards, falling flat on his ass._ _“You think…I’m going to leave MY SON with you? To learn your violence, to learn your hate? I’ll sue. I’ll sue for custody.”_ _The other man snorted. “You think they’d give a newborn to a fucking freeloader like you? Choose YOU over a fine, upstanding couple from upper-class Pittsburgh? Think again, you sorry sack of shit,” he sneered. “And don’t think I don’t know you still want Jennifer. But you have to accept that she wanted ME. Wanted someone who could actually make her and OUR son feel safe.”_ _James spat out blood that had collected in his mouth, glaring. “You couldn’t keep Jennifer satisfied in bed, could you?” he challenged, his temper getting the better of him once again._ _Craig raised his fist once again, then lowered it when he saw one of the pesky neighbors a few houses down trying to crane her neck over the fence._ _“Whatever, Carrigan. But think about this. You take away Justin from us, you take away Justin from Jennifer. Do you want that, you stupid fucker?”_ _For the first time, James was speechless._ _Craig turned and slammed the door shut._ _James bowed his head in defeat._ _Even from outside, the door shut, he could still hear his child’s cry._

James swallowed hard as he recalled the painful memories of so long ago. He remembered the shame, the fear, the regret, the sorrow, the disappointment.

 

“You gave up too easily, Carrigan,” he said aloud to himself. 

 

He let out a world-weary sigh and trudged over the switches. He shut off all the lights in the place. He then set the store alarm and took one last look around at the store. 

 

He’d never imagined he’d be here. 

 

But he wouldn’t give up. There was too much left to do.

 

It wasn’t even about Jennifer. Not anymore, really. 

 

He just wanted to know his son. 

 

To _call_ him son. 

 

To have something besides that little glimpse of the baby as Craig ushered his new family out the maternity ward, besides the photograph of the adorable little thing on his first birthday. 

 

Besides the lock of fine blond hair they cut off that day at his first haircut.

 

He just wanted Justin. 

 

James sighed one last time and shut the door.


	23. Not Much More Time

  
Author's notes: Ok. Well I'm amazed that people are still asking about and reading this! I really, truly do apologize for how long I'm making you guys wait for each update. But I do appreciate it, and I really do hope you will continue to stick with me! This chapter is dedicated to the beautiful, lovely Keighley ([](http://libertysfic.livejournal.com/profile)[ **libertysfic**](http://libertysfic.livejournal.com/) ) for her birthday and to Rose ([](http://gh-bk31.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://gh-bk31.livejournal.com/) **gh_bk31**  ) because she has been so faithful to this fic of mine =) So, on to story. Please take the time to comment if you read!  *hugs flist tight* Feedback is my anti-drug =)    


* * *

Chapter 23: Not Much More Time

“Baby, that’s absolutely wonderful!” Emmett beamed as he saw the new poster for the GLC party Justin was wielding in a hand. 

The other boy laughed in relief, brushing his blond bangs out of his eyes and studying the poster critically, even if he’d done so multiple times already. “Thanks, Em. Matt said the design was really good, but I was hoping for a second opinion…sometimes he’s too good to me,” he said, shaking his head.  

“Oh, but he’s right honey, don’t worry about that! So all the details for the party are final?” 

Justin nodded. “Yeah, I think so. Brian and I are meeting at the diner to go over them and for him to look at the finished product.” He suddenly grew shy and ducked his head, pretending to look at a new shipment of glittery blue shirts Emmett was currently digging into. “Nice fabric.” 

The tall queen smiled to himself, noting the tinge of blush coloring the boy’s cheeks. “I think it’s great that you’ve been getting along better lately, sweetie. You both look so much happier.” 

The blond smiled softly, but didn’t reply for a few seconds. “He’s been taking such an active role in helping out Matt and his mother. Just because we’ve had our differences in the past doesn’t mean we can’t work together to help them. I can draw and he can advertise…together we make a pretty good team.” 

Emmett continued to fold. “You always did, baby.” 

 Justin glanced up to look at his friend, but didn’t contradict. 

“Hello boys!” 

“James,” Emmett smiled, flashing a toothy smile. 

“James,” Justin echoed, also smiling brightly. 

The older man felt the warmth from both smiles, but it was the one from the smaller blond that made his entire being ecstatic. “What’s that you’ve got there, Justin?” 

Emmett gave Justin a small push forward and scampered over to start hanging the blue shirts up on the wall. Justin nodded his thanks, appreciating his friend’s sensitivity to his need for privacy. 

“Hopefully the final copy of the poster for the GLC party,” the boy answered, holding up the artwork and peering up at the man hopefully. James had been filled in on the entire situation and what they were planning to do for Matt. Justin knew that James, as a fellow artist, would tell him the truth about the posters. 

James took the poster from Justin’s hand and took in the technique, the style, the boldness of color…Justin had evidently poured his heart and soul into this, even if was only a minor project. He had all the makings of a true artist. 

The man felt a surge of fatherly pride, an emotion so alien to him and yet one he revered and cherished, now that he knew what it felt like. 

“Great work, Justin. It’s simple yet strong…it grabs your attention but not overtly so, and the slogan is concise enough to convey the point without so much fluff.” 

Justin smiled. “Thanks James. I can’t take credit for the slogan though…that was Brian.” 

James nodded. “Brian’s a hell of a young man, from what you’ve told me. Smart _and_ he knows his shit. I’m so glad his grades have been picking up. Tell him to come in more, I’ve only had the pleasure of talking to him just the once.” 

The boy nodded, then looked down at his watch. “Thanks James, but I have to get going. Brian’s probably already at the diner…he’s always so prompt. I’ll try to stop by later, okay?” 

James nodded again. 

Justin flashed another smile and was out the door as two young gay men entered the store, one turning to admire the bubble butt bouncing out. James shook his head but greeted them warmly, yet his mind was on other things. 

He was extremely happy with his situation right now. He was the owner of his own business, a business that actually made a very good profit due to its large customer base. He didn’t need some degree from some Ivy League school to tell him that – a fleeting image of Craig Taylor flashed through his mind – and he had a burgeoning, blossoming relationship with his beautiful, strong, talented teenage son. 

It was a far cry from that brief glimpse of the boy roughly eighteen years ago. 

_A dry, pretentious sniff. “_ Mr. _Carrigan?”_

_Mocking emphasis on that one word._

_James turned quickly in his seat to see Mr. and Mrs. Winthrop clutching each other, having just gotten off the elevator to the maternity ward._

_“Mr. and Mrs. Winthrop.” James got to his feet, messenger bag carrying his portfolio bouncing around his hip as he went to greet the couple._

_He was waved down by a dainty hand and a disdainful smile. “We didn’t think we’d see_ you _here.”_

_Accusing emphasis on ‘you.’_

_“Of course I’m here,” James said earnestly, quickly making as much room as he could as the Winthrops sat down gingerly in the seats next to his. “I…I don’t expect a warm welcome, and I didn’t expect to be present at the birth. I know full well that Jennifer is going to be raising the child with Craig, but…if I could just hold the baby…” he looked into the woman’s eyes pleadingly._

_She didn’t look him in the eye. “I don’t know about that, Mr. Carrigan. I think it’d be best for everyone involved, including the child, if you would just leave. Completely.”_

_James sat still, eyes widening, jaw almost slack. It was almost unbelievable, but he knew that in the perfect world of WASPs, it made total sense._

_Sweep the dirty laundry, the trash, under the pretty rug…_

_A doctor walked by, alerting James once more. He stood up quickly. “Sir, is there any news on Jennifer Winthrop?”_

_“Taylor, Mr. Carrigan,” Jennifer’s mother sniffed. “My daughter is named Jennifer Taylor now.”_

_James eyes almost fluttered shut at the blow the simple sentence caused his heart. Of course he’d known. He hadn’t been invited to the wedding of course, but he knew. It had been in the paper. But to hear it said aloud diminished and quenched any hopes he may have been holding on to still._

_“Yes…Jennifer Taylor,” he managed to say, maintaining his steely gaze once more. “How is she?”_

_“How is my daughter?” Mr. Winthrop butted in, who had been silent up until now._

_“Labor looks to be a quick, easy one, which is wonderful to see for a first pregnancy. Everything looks normal as of now. Please excuse me, I’ve got to be getting back,” the young doctor said politely, heading off._

_“That’s so wonderful to hear. Isn’t it, William?” Mrs. Winthrop urged her husband, ignoring James completely._

_William nodded and sat back down._

_The younger man then saw the woman’s eyes light up. “Oh, look dear. The Taylors are here. And just in the nick of time, too.”_

_William automatically got back on his feet._

_Mrs. Winthrop patted down the fabric billowing around her legs, smoothing out the non-existent wrinkles on her perfectly pressed autumn dress. She then smiled winningly at the approaching Taylors, leaning forward to lay a courteous kiss on Mrs. Taylor’s cheek. “Diane, simply wonderful to see you again.”_

_The men leaned forward to shake hands, boisterously exchanging pleasantries. Then everyone traded for the pleasantries to continue._

_James watched this, eyebrows raised. He had not bothered to get up. He knew at this point nothing he did would impress these people. Nor did he even care about impressing them. Not anymore._

_Jennifer, on the other hand…_

_Finally, Mrs. Winthrop turned and smiled coldly at James. “This is Mr. Carrigan. We’ve told you about him,” she simpered. “Mr. Carrigan, Robert and Diane Taylor.”_

_The other couple glared at James as if he were a weed growing on their exquisitely manicured lawn. Truth be told, he’d expected nothing better. “Mr. Carrigan,” Mrs. Taylor murmured, making no move to give him a hello kiss. Mr. Taylor only bobbed his head in greeting, the supposedly friendly gesture doing nothing to take the malice out of his cool blue eyes._

_“Did you just get here, Sarah?” Diane asked Mrs. Winthrop, taking Mr. Winthrop’s vacated seat and turning her back firmly on James. Robert and William sat a little further away, talking about golf scores at the country club or some shit like that._

_“Yes, dear. I was a bit upset that we couldn’t get here sooner…I’ve told you about William’s driving, how he cares for his Rolls Royce…anyway, I’m glad we didn’t. The company was…sorely lacking before you and Robert arrived.”_

_James rolled his eyes. They apparently didn’t even care that he was within earshot. Not that they ever had._

_“I see. Yes, Craig’s abysmal housekeeper didn’t let us know that he and Jennifer had gone off to the hospital until a good hour after – should be fired, I tell Craig every time I see him – woman by the name of Joan Kinney. Thinks my son doesn’t realize she steals some of the sherry every time she sees the opportunity. Recently had a baby herself, you see, making up for lost time.” The women giggled. “Drives in every day from Pittsburgh to the suburbs.”_

_James rolled his eyes again. These women…_

_Craig Taylor suddenly bounced into the waiting room, flushed and excited. All eyes turned excitedly to the young man. “A boy!” he exclaimed. “A son.”_

_Gasps, then everyone surrounded the man, the older men shaking Craig’s hands furiously, beaming, while the women leaned up to give him a kiss, fluttering. They reminded James of a pack of birds._

_HIS boy. HIS son._

_James left after that and didn’t come back until Jennifer and the baby were both discharged from the hospital a day or two later. Craig and his father had gone to get the car and drive it over to the front entrance. Jennifer stood proudly with her bundle of blue blankets, beautiful and young. Her eyes grew alarmed as she saw the young man approach._

_“James, I…”_

_“Please, Jennifer. Let me…let me just hold him?”_

_Jennifer looked hesitant, and ashamed. James, swallowing hard, moved closer, just enough to see fluttering eyelashes, blue eyes, tufts of blond hair, and an adorable button nose…looked like Jen, from what he could tell…did the baby get anything from his father? Maybe if he looked even closer…_

_“Jennifer!”_

_With a little gasp, the young woman stepped back hesitantly, looking worried._

_Craig marched over, jostling James to the side, not wanting to even look at him. “Let’s go, Jen. My father’s driving, go ahead and get in the backseat. I’ll take Justin.”_

_And moving quickly, Craig steered his wife and James’s son out the revolving doors._

_James stood perfectly still, watching as Jennifer walked away and shivered, either from the hospital’s air conditioning on full blast during the unusually warm fall or from something else, he didn’t know._

_He watched as she pulled her white shawl tighter around her shoulders._

_He watched as Craig Taylor beamed down at the bundle of blankets and as a small, chubby arm reached out from the blankets to brush against the man’s chest._

_He watched as his heart broke._

_“Justin.”_

*                                                      *                                               *

“Justin.”

Brian raised an arm to get the boy’s attention from his booth at the very back of the diner. It was busy, as usual. 

A pleasant quiver ran through the brunette’s body as he saw the blond hair and blue eyes drawing ever closer, weaving in and out of the waiters’ paths, calling out hellos as he knew pretty much all of them. He even avoided a few pinches to his ass from fellow diners. 

Brian growled low in his throat, even though he knew he really didn’t have cause to anymore. 

Lately though, their future was starting to look promising. Even Vic and Deb had assured him of the same thing. Brian barely dared believe it, but his hopes soared more with each passing day. 

Justin sat down at their booth and a small smile crossed his lips. “Hey Brian. How are things?” 

Brian smiled back. The only person who could really make him smile, not smirk, was Justin. Always had, always would. “All right. Aced that bio test, felt like Clarke wanted to kill me when he handed it back to me…” 

The blond boy grinned. He’d seen that happen, too. He also couldn’t help the surge of pride that went through him at the sight. He still didn’t have it in him to forgive Brian completely for what had happened almost two and a half months ago. The sharp sting of the attack had faded to a dull ache, but he could almost consider Brian a friend again. There was still love there...of course he still loved Brian. But whether anything would come out of it…

“…didn’t even suggest that I come for extra help, which he’s done for a while now. I think I’m doing okay now,” Brian finished, wondering if the younger boy was listening as he studied the faraway look in the blue eyes. 

“That’s good,” Justin said, shaking himself out it and reaching into his messenger bag for his portfolio carrying the posters. 

“I ordered you some water and some lemon bars,” Brian said. 

Another smile crossed the boy’s face. “Thanks, Bri.” 

The brunette’s heart leapt in his chest at the use of his nickname. It was a relief to hear it from the boy’s lips.

Justin cleared his throat. “Anyway, I’ve got the posters,” he said, opening the portfolio hesitantly and extracting the artwork. He handed them over to Brian, swallowing hard and looking up at him expectantly, hopefully. 

Brian gazed at the designs with an approving eye. “Looks good,” he nodded, the words feeling strange and foreign in his mouth after a lifetime of “not bad”s. Yet it was worth it when he saw the blue eyes light up. 

“Whew, what a relief! I hoped you’d like it, James said he did too, which meant a lot, but I still wasn’t completely sure.” 

Brian nodded. He knew how much James’ opinion meant to Justin. Even if he’d been shocked when Emmett had let it slip that James was Justin’s real father two or so weeks back.

The plate of lemon bars arrived. Still grinning, the blond boy snapped one up immediately and started feasting. 

The taller young man looked on, smirking.

“I just want this to happen as soon as it possibly can,” Justin said as he polished off his second lemon bar. “Matt…he’s getting worse. You’ve gone to see him recently, haven’t you?” 

Brian nodded again, paling slightly. He’d seen what had been happening…money was low and even though the family had decided not to go through with the chemo, plenty of it was being spent to keep Matt relatively comfortable during these terrible last few months.  “Yeah, just yesterday.” 

Justin agreed. “I haven’t gone the last two days, I’ve been so damn busy with schoolwork and projects for AP Studio Art and this fundraiser…not that I mind,” he added hastily. “I’d do all this and more for Matt.” 

The blond stood up quickly and shouted for a paper bag to gather up the remaining lemon bars. “I’m going to go see him,” he said. “He’d like a lemon bar or two, he likes them almost as much as I do,” he said, smiling to himself. 

The brunette watched the smaller boy do this, smiling as well. He shone when he was excited. 

The boy grabbed all his things and bid Brian goodbye. He took a few steps, stopped abruptly, and turned to look at the other young man again. “You want to come? If you don’t have any other plans, I mean.” The blond’s cheeks darkened to a slight pink. 

Brian’s heart jumped in his chest. Justin hadn’t asked him along to somewhere besides the diner in a really long time. And even though every fiber in his being screamed at him to go with his former boyfriend, he found that he couldn’t. Vic had asked him to come over for a chat, and the young man could not go back on that promise. He knew full well that Vic would roll his eyes once Brian told him about the situation, berating him for not going, as he was also hoping that the ex-lovers would reunite. But Vic met a lot to him. 

“I’m going to Deb and Vic’s after this, Vic’s got some recipe he wants to try out and he says he works better when he can talk.” Brian playfully rolled his eyes.

Justin grinned. “Yeah, okay. I’ll talk to you soon, okay? Maybe sometime early next week we can meet with Emmett and some of the other guys to start putting up the posters for the party.” 

He waited for Brian’s nod and then stood, looking into Brian’s eyes, his own dancing, fiery blue flames. The other boy gazed back.  

The blond broke the connection first, a soft smile fluttering across his face. “Later.” 

Brian watched him leave, quietly whispering in kind. 

*                                                  *                                                          *

Justin was walking down the hallway to Matt’s room when a sound made him stop dead in his tracks. He stood completely still, then shivered as he heard another similar noise.

Regan Albright stumbled out of the room, hand clasped over her mouth, barely managing to stifle sobs. The younger Albright son followed at her heels, back pressing against the wall adjacent to the doorframe and sliding down until he was sitting down. 

The blond came unstuck and ran towards them. “What is it? What’s wrong with Matt?” 

Regan looked up with watery eyes. “Oh honey, Justin, go on home. I’m so glad to see you, and believe me, Matt would be to, but he’s not up for visitors today. Come back another day, okay sweetie? Please.” 

“MOM!” came the scream of pain, the agony plain in the single word. “MOM PLEASE!’ 

_A bad day_ , Justin thought to himself, fingers and lips going numb. He watched dumbly as Regan turned and went back in the room, shutting the door behind her. 

He watched as Matt’s younger brother looked up at him, lip trembling and nose running before he got up and ran down the hall to the bathroom. 

He watched as two nurses slipped out of the room and closed the door firmly once more, shaking their heads at each other and mumbling something about “not much more time.” They said it quietly; aware of the blond, but Justin managed to catch the crucial words of the whispered sentence. 

He watched as his heart broke. 

The boy fumbled for his phone in his pocket, dialed number one on speed dial, and put the phone up to his ear. 

“Brian? Yeah. No, it’s okay. _I’m_ fine. It’s just…we have to reschedule the GLC party for _this week_. There’s not much more time.”  


End file.
